


The Thief You Cannot Banish (流•誓)

by poprockshawty



Series: Between My Heartstrings [4]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Office, Angst, Class Differences, EXO Big Bang Round 1, F/M, Fluff, Heavy Drinking, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, One Night Stands, Peer Pressure, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:35:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 55,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poprockshawty/pseuds/poprockshawty
Summary: The 7-year itch makes Zitao and Dabin realize they are no longer the carefree teenagers they were when they first fell in love. As Zitao struggles with his smoking addiction and Dabin is tempted to run into someone else’s arms, they must decide if their love is worth saving — before it’s too late.written for the EXO Big Bang Event
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Original Female Character(s), Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Original Female Character(s), Park Chanyeol/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Between My Heartstrings [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1016010
Comments: 97
Kudos: 12
Collections: EXO Big Bang Writing Event





	1. Pink Blazer

Every morning, Dabin would wake up to two things: her boyfriend Zitao beside her, and then the faint but omnipresent smell of cigarettes that lingered. And every morning, she would try her best to ignore the unpleasantness of the latter, instead smiling from the bottom of her heart with thankfulness that she got to hold him and love him.

This morning, however, the first thing Dabin’s senses picked up on that she was conscious of was something much more delightful — it seemed like Zitao was cooking breakfast. Willingly, she took a deep breath and licked her lips as her mouth watered in anticipation of the bacon and sausages and omelet that she was going to devour the moment it was ready.

It was the weekend, after all. Her mood could not have been better.

The sunlight filled the living room generously, compelling Dabin to rise and shine. As soon as she washed up and sat down on the sofa, Zitao emerged from the kitchen.

“Hey, you’re up,” said Zitao lovingly, smiling brighter than the sun. “I was thinking about breakfast in bed, actually.”

“Anywhere with you is fine,” Dabin replied with equal fondness, motioning for Zitao to sit with her. “You’re the best. I love the breakfasts you cook,” she added not a moment later, with her mouth full.

“Yeah, your boyfriend is pretty amazing,” he giggled.

“That is true,” she nodded in satisfaction and in agreement. “Did you sleep well?”

“Oh yeah. You too?”

“Yup. Oh, and I had a dream last night,” she began. “Nothing scary or particularly dramatic; I was just reliving our trip to France. The very first time we travelled together.”

Zitao grinned. “That was one of the best summers of my life. Can you believe so much time has passed already? It must’ve been…” he started mentally counting. “Wow, 6 years ago?”

“We had the time of our lives,” she remarked. “But oh gosh, we were so young at the time. Fresh out of high school. Those were the days. Now here we are, hitting our mid-twenties…adulting is tough.”

“At that time, my sister was our age now. I never understood how come she never seemed to have time for much anything else apart from studying and/or working. Well, now I think I get it,” he replied, with a nostalgic chuckle. “It’d be nice if we could go on a trip again, right?”

“Revisit our favorite spots? Count me in! I’m desperate for a vacation. When _my_ sister and Baekhyun went to France for their honeymoon, I was green with envy! I've also been thinking about Peru and wondering how long it takes to fly from Incheon to Peru. It sucks that I travel only for work these days. Business trips would be better without the business part.”

“Don’t worry; we’ll get our much-deserved break soon,” he said confidently.

“How soon?” She asked as she reached for a napkin.

“Soon as I complete the projects at hand and get them out of the way. Then we can have our way and our getaway,” he answered honestly.

“Ah, and that’s gonna take a while, isn’t it?” It was a pity, but she understood work demands.

“Yeah. We’ll have a handful of summer interns coming in soon though. I just hope they’re gonna be helpful so we can get things done more efficiently. And on that note, I think I’m gonna go back to the office today.”

“But it’s the weekend,” she pouted.

“If I just spend today working, I probably won’t have to do so much overtime work in the coming week. It’s a sacrifice, but it’ll be worth it.”

“Zitao,” she whined.

“I won’t take long. I think I can wrap things up and make it to afternoon tea with you,” he added in reassurance.

“You can?” Her face lit up. “Oh my gosh.”

“Yeah, I know you like that café and I was planning to go there with you last Saturday. But things got in the way and I’m not pleased about that. So, today it is. Unless you’re taking a rain check?” He laughed.

“No way! No more rescheduling, no more postponing, we’re doing it today and that’s final,” she said with a satisfied smile on her face.

“Perfect!” He said, looking no less content. “See you later then.”

* * *

By lunchtime, Zitao had already made a lot of progress with the projects that demanded his attention. Happy that he was on schedule and checking things off his to-do list for today, he grabbed his mug — the one that his elder step-sister Victoria got for him — and made his way to the pantry to get coffee. It did not slip his mind that he was still on for afternoon tea with his girlfriend later, and he had a pretty filling breakfast this morning, so he opted for some biscuits and chocolate bars only.

Ready to return to his seat and get back to work, he took note of how quiet it was today. After all, no doubt only a handful of employees would be willing to come back on the weekend.

The peace and quiet got disrupted, however, when Zitao heard footsteps shuffling, and there was no elegance in the way that person’s heels clicked with the floor. He supposed they must have been in too much of a hurry to care about looking graceful. From the fluctuating loudness of those clinking sounds, Zitao could hardly deduce which direction they were headed in, and it seemed they themselves were not sure either.

Out of curiosity, Zitao tried to find out what was going on. But as soon as he rounded a corner, he crashed right into a young lady — or rather, more accurately, _she_ crashed into him. She gasped in shock and then exclaimed in dismay, and soon Zitao understood why. The coffee he was holding was splashed onto her dress, practically soaking it. Staring at the half-gone contents in his mug and then at the distraught lady in front of him, Zitao’s jaw dropped too.

“I am so sorry…” he stuttered, feeling more and more guilty as it looked like the girl was about to break into tears, and it took everything in her to hold back the urge to cuss.

“Uh…the ladies’ room is just that way…” Zitao pointed gingerly. “Just turn right as soon as you see the door that says ‘Senior Designer Kim Junmyeon’.”

“Oh, my goodness…” the lady replied, speaking in Korean but with an even stronger Chinese accent as the one Zitao had. “Th-thank you,” she stammered. “I kind of lost my way…uh…trying to look for Mr Kim…um…am kinda late already...”

“I’m really sorry,” said Zitao seriously. “About your clothes…err…” he added, thinking on his feet. “Hold this,” he instructed and handing the mug to her, freeing both of his hands so he could deftly take off his blazer. He was much taller than her so it was very much oversized, but it was exactly what she needed to cover up the coffee stains.

His gesture caught her by surprise, but it did seem like a sound solution for her crisis, so she accepted it anyway, knowing she had no other choice. It was going to be uncomfortable of course, but she obviously did not have enough time to properly clean up, at least not beyond wiping frantically with tissues.

Scuttling away unceremoniously and in her uncomfortable heels, Zitao watched as she carefully slipped into Junmyeon-sunbaenim’s room.

Still feeling bad for what happened just now, glumly Zitao returned to his own desk, after filling up his mug once again. He truly did not mean for this to happen…

When he sat back down, it took him a few moments to return his attention to the project he was supposed to be working on. As he waited for the software to be set up, he suddenly realized that he could not carry on with the project yet, as the project coordinator and the client had not yet come to a conclusion about certain themes in the design. He figured he must have been either half-asleep or distracted when he planned his schedule. Glancing at his checklist, he found that there was actually not much left for him to do, so within the hour he was able to leave the office.

* * *

“So how did it go? Were you able to get as much done as you had planned?” Dabin asked as she and Zitao sat down at the café, waiting for their food to be served.

“Most of it went pretty smoothly actually. I just need to finalize a few things with the project coordinator after the meeting with the client. Apart from that, I think I did pretty well today.”

As soon as he finished his sentence, a waiter passing by their table had almost lost his balance, causing the drinks on his tray to spill. Luckily he averted the crisis in time, and no further chaos ensued on his way to the kitchen.

“Damn, what's with people spilling drinks everywhere today,” Zitao murmured, shaking his head.

“Oh?” Dabin raised her eyebrows in curiosity rather than in disapproval. “What's the tea?”

“Ah, well,” Zitao sighed and began to explain what happened earlier with the young lady at his office. “And then I pointed her in the right direction. I felt so bad for her; it was my carelessness that put her in an awkward position.”

“And you gave her your blazer…?” Dabin asked quietly.

“Yeah, I couldn't think of any other way to fix it,” Zitao answered. “I couldn't possibly let her carry on with the rest of her day with coffee stains all over her clothes.”

The rest of his explanations did not seem to catch much of Dabin’s attention. “The pink one? The pink blazer?” She pressed on.

He nodded. “Yeah, why? What about it?”

“Well,” she paused. “ _I_ was the one who got you the pink suit.”

“Mmhmm.”

“And the blazer.”

“Right.”

“I bought it for you using my own money and you gave it to someone else?” She frowned slightly.

“I...I, um, I was really just trying to help…”

“But do you even know who she is? Does she work there? What's her name? And will you ever get the blazer back?”

“Uh, I think I can ask Junmyeon-sunbaenim? I'm sure he can fill me in on who she is. Looks to me like she's one of the summer interns though, since she's so young. And Junmyeon-sunbaenim supervises the interns.”

“Right, who would think twice before helping the young and pretty girl…” she uttered before taking a sip from her cup.

“Dabin-ah,” Zitao whined. “When have I ever said that she's pretty?”

Dabin made no response, knowing he was right. But it still did not change that she was not pleased about what he did with the blazer. The pink one. The one she bought for him. The one he gave away without a second thought.

“I'm sure I can ask for it to be returned to me once Junmyeon-sunbaenim gives me her contact details and whatnot,” said Zitao, eager to appease his girlfriend. “Please don't be mad.”

“I’m gonna stay mad until you get it back,” Dabin declared, but could not help the slightest upturn of the corners of her mouth. “Let's eat!”

* * *

After the weekend, workdays resumed as usual. Zitao’s Monday was a lot busier, and in the workplace it was a lot noisier too. It was so important to adhere strictly to clients’ demands and requirements no matter how bizarre or challenging. Zitao was confident that he could do it, as long as he paid enough attention. And once his attention mode was switched on, he could carry on working for hours upon hours. In this industry, overtime work was as mundane as the coffee in everyone’s mugs anyway.

Perhaps Kim Junmyeon was the exception to this tacit rule about overtime work. Being a single father himself, he did indeed need to leave work on time. Today was also the first day of work for the summer interns that he was supervising. Among the newcomers was a girl called Xu Yiyang, and Junmyeon was aware that Zitao seemed to have taken an interest in her.

Junmyeon let the newcomers leave work punctually, and Yiyang also left the office as soon as she was allowed to. She was mindful that this could have been misinterpreted as a sign of laziness, even if that was not the truth. Still, she had to hurry to the laundry store and pick up the blazer that she had sent in for dry-cleaning. She really wanted to return it to its rightful owner as soon as possible, even if it meant that she had to pay extra for them to clean it and have it ready to be picked up within a couple of days. Dry-cleaning for a blazer was not cheap in the first place, and Zitao’s blazer was of the finest quality as well, so it was of utmost importance for his blazer to be cleaned with care.

Yiyang was still learning her way around this place, and fortunately she did not get lost, or run into anyone, or cause a mess on her way to Zitao’s desk. She was always in a rush, sweating as she sprinted from the office to the laundry store and then back again.

Arriving at Zitao’s desk, awkwardly she introduced herself in Mandarin. She returned the blazer to him, along with the hanger and garment bag.

“Hey! I'm really sorry about the other day,” said Zitao, sheepishly moving his mug away from the corner of the desk near where Yiyang was standing. “So, today's your first day of work? How do you like it here?”

“Yep,” she answered. “It's really nice. Everyone's really nice to me. I'm still trying to remember who's who and which way is which. But on the whole, it's much less daunting than expected for a first day!”

“Ah, Junmyeon-sunbaenim must be taking good care of you guys. He's really good at that kinda stuff. Looking after people and all. You can learn a lot from him I'm sure,” replied Zitao with a grin.

“I am looking forward to it,” she smiled too.

“By the way, which part of China are you from?”

She blushed. “Sichuan. How about you?”

“Qingdao,” he said happily. “Glad to have met you. Let's work hard together.”

Just as Yiyang was about to reply, someone came into sight. “Zitao? Dinner with the squad tonight. Remember?”

“Oh! Dabin-ah! Wait, it's at half past seven?” Zitao glanced at his watch and realized he was going to be late. “I'll just take a few minutes to finish up these sketches.”

“Come on,” Dabin ushered. “I'll wait downstairs.” She then turned on her heel, but not before taking a look at Yiyang, quickly scanning the Chinese girl from head to toe. Dabin had already been eavesdropping on the conversation between Zitao and Yiyang for a while before coming out of hiding. So this was the young lady that Zitao had given the pink blazer to. He sure did not mention she was pretty, but she was, and Dabin was not blind.

“I’ll leave you to your work then. See you tomorrow,” said Yiyang instantly. She exited the office as well, stopping at the elevator lobby where only she and Dabin were waiting.


	2. Panda

Noting the awkward silence since it was just Dabin and Yiyang at the elevator lobby, the Korean girl could not help but pipe up. “Are you new? I haven't seen you around before.” She pretended to not know anything about the blazer for now, deciding to test Yiyang for a bit and see if she ought to be wary of the younger girl.

“Yes, today's my first day. I'm one of the summer interns,” she replied with a polite smile. “You work with Zitao-sunbaenim too?”

“No, not really. My brother-in-law does some business with Zitao’s father, but I'm...his flatmate,” Dabin answered, continuing to speak in fluent Korean as they stepped into the empty elevator. _That's not a lie_ , she kept telling herself. “Zitao always forgets stuff, so I bring it to him if I happen to be on my way to work or back home or whatever. You know, since the company allows registered visitors to drop by for a bit during lunch hours and after work.”

“I see…” Yiyang nodded as she listened. “It's so nice that you have his back. My own flatmate back in freshman year was just utterly unreliable. _And_ she stole my boyfriend.” She sighed.

“Oh, that’s the worst,” Dabin blurted immediately, this time with much more earnestness and empathy. Realizing right away that she had let her guard down for a moment and so easily, she tensed up again.

“Yeah...but anyway, it was nice to meet you,” said Yiyang as they reached the ground floor and the elevator doors opened. “Have a nice evening!”

* * *

After a week and many more meetings, Zitao found himself doing overtime work till really late at night again. Yawning even as he talked on the phone with Dabin, he finally gave in and said, “yeah, you know what? I don’t think I can keep my eyes open anymore. I’m gonna call it a day. I’ll be home soon. But don’t stay up waiting for me...you have to be up early tomorrow, don’t you?”

“Don’t remind me,” Dabin replied, stifling a sigh. “But yeah, you better come home before I finish everything in the fridge on my own and I become so fat that you can’t recognize me anymore.”

Zitao laughed. “Right, I’ll be on my way then.”

It did not take long for him to get ready to leave the office. As expected, he was the last to leave; the lights had been switched off everywhere except for the room he was using. But hold on, there was a small room that most people overlooked and the lights were still on. It was mostly used as yet another storage facility since they never seemed to have enough space to put all their scrolls and equipment. Zitao figured perhaps someone must have just forgotten to switch off the lights after getting what they needed from that room — or dumped in that room whatever they did not ever want to see again. But when he approached, what he saw was not what he was expecting.

“Yiyang?” He called out, knocking on the door. The intern bolted upright instantly, still disoriented and only just realizing that she had fallen asleep on her desk.

“Sunbaenim? Oh...sorry, I hadn’t meant to fall asleep,” she replied. Once she saw how late it was, she jumped to her feet and packed all her stuff hurriedly, ignoring how dry her throat was.

“You weren’t planning to pull an all-nighter here, were you?”

“No, no, I wasn’t even expecting...I really should go,” she said urgently. Grabbing her bags, she scuttled to the door and switched off the lights and the air-conditioning. “Oh, no,” she suddenly added on her way out and face-palmed. “I’m gonna miss the last train home.”

“Do you live far away? I can give you a lift,” Zitao offered.

“Well, I suppose it shouldn’t take too long by car...but I don’t want to bother you. It’s so late already and I’m sure you’re tired too. I’ll just find some bus to take.”

“On your own? Isn’t it dangerous? Especially at this hour of the day...if you need it, I don’t mind giving you a lift.”

Inwardly, Yiyang knew it was not a good idea for a young girl to be out on the streets all by herself in the dark. “That...would be great,” she nodded. “I just wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”

“No, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” he said in reassurance, leading her to his vehicle in the carpark. “You might wanna call your family and let them know you’re on your way so they won’t worry.”

“Oh! Yeah, you’re right, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.” She scratched the back of her head and fished out her phone from her handbag, only to realize that it was running low on battery.

“Here,” said Zitao, handing a power bank to her.

“Thanks so much,” she smiled, thankful that Zitao was always around to help her out whenever she needed it the most. “This is really cute, by the way,” she commented, pointing at the panda design of the portable charger as Zitao drove. “It’s even got its ears poking out. Adorable.”

“Yeah, I love pandas. I’ve always loved them, even as a kid,” he replied, grinning too. “My spirit animal. The moment my girlfriend laid eyes on that power bank, she knew she had to buy it because it screams my energy.”

“Aww. So do you like Kung Fu Panda?”

“Aha, yeah! I really enjoy action movies as well. Love them.”

“Me too! I was actually really looking forward to the one starring Andy Lau that’s supposed to be released this year...but he got injured when filming a dangerous scene, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard about that. Must’ve been frightening. I know from experience.”

“Wait, what? What happened?”

“I’m no movie star, but yeah, I had a similar experience a _very_ long time ago. Like, around 20 years ago,” Zitao chuckled. “When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time practicing martial arts, but one time, the stick hit me right in the head. And oh, it was awful. Ouch. My scalp was split open and I needed 43 stitches.”

“What?! You could’ve died!” Yiyang shuddered.

“Yeah, it was traumatizing and I had to stop training for, like, a year or so. You can still see my scar, actually. It’s pretty visible when I have short hair. This huge white line down my head,” he went on to explain. “Never cried about it though. Not even as a kid,” he added, smiling proudly. “I don’t cry about my injuries.”

“Do you still practice martial arts these days?” She asked, shifting to angle her body slightly toward his as she got more and more interested. “Wow, you must be really good at it if you’ve spent so many years training.”

“Not as much, but I do try to find the time to do some stretches,” he answered. “It’s actually my dad who got me to learn martial arts in the first place.”

“Oh? Is your father an expert in martial arts too?”

“No, far from it,” he guffawed. “It’s just because I was so naughty as a child. My dad decided to find some way to train and discipline me and so, I started learning and training since...even before primary school. The other kids would go home at like 5 or 6 in the evening but I would stay till really late, like...midnight, I think.”

“It must have taken a lot of perseverance. I really admire that,” she remarked.

Zitao broke into a wide grin, clearly displaying how much he enjoyed being praised and looked up to.

“Your building’s just right ahead, isn’t it?” He asked, pointing ahead.

“Yeah! Oh, my dad’s here to pick me up,” she answered as the man in question stepped out from the building lobby, looking around for the car that would safely bring his daughter home.

“Good. I would be worried about you if I couldn't be sure that you’d get home safely,” he replied, pulling the car to a stop. Swiftly getting out of the car, he skipped to the sidewalk to pull the car door open for Yiyang.

“Thank you so much. It’s nice that we got to know each other,” she said softly, smiling. She unplugged the phone from the portable charger and handed it back to Zitao, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Then, when her father came up to them, offering to help her carry her bags, she added, “Dad, this is Zitao, my sunbaenim from work. He’s a junior designer and he's from Qingdao!”

The two men shook hands and exchanged polite smiles, and the elder thanked the younger for safely delivering his daughter home.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” said Zitao to Yiyang as he got back into his car. “Goodnight.”

* * *

As soon as father and daughter got home, the latter piped up. “Dad, are you alright? Why do you look so...astounded? Did something happen?” She asked worriedly. “This is actually kinda weird because I was sort of expecting you to ask something a little...well, awkward, like ‘is that your new boyfriend?’ or something along those lines, like you often tend to do.”

“This time, I sure hope he isn’t your new boyfriend,” said the man gravely. Knowing that he seldom ever looked _this_ serious, Yiyang only grew more concerned.

“But...why? What’s wrong with him?” She frowned in confusion. “He’s actually a great person and it’s really nice of him to offer to send me home so I don’t have to stay out waiting for a bus.”

“No, it’s not that. I’m sure he’s lovely. But um...it’s just…”

“...what is it?”

“Uh...you know what? It’s nothing. It can’t be. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence and I shouldn’t jump to conclusions too quickly. Ah, Yiyang, it’s so late at night already. Go brush your teeth and sleep. You still have work tomorrow morning. Come on, go.”

“Dad, come on. Now I’m even more convinced that something weird is going on. Whatever you’re not telling me, I feel even more strongly that I really need to know. How am I supposed to interact with him at work if every time I look at him, I’m gonna be reminded that my dad has something to hide about him?” She pleaded.

The man sighed and shook his head. “I’m sure I’m just not thinking straight. Don’t worry about it. Go wash your face and sleep early.”

“Dad…” she urged. “There must be an explanation for your reaction. I really just want to hear it no matter how silly or implausible you think it is.”

He sighed and unfolded his arms across his chest. “You’re not gonna give up, are you.”

“Well, you taught me to never give up.”

“Fine.” He sat down and motioned for his daughter to do the same.

“I’m ready.” She rested her chin on both palms and listened attentively. “What’s the deal?”

“Tell me something. That boy just now...is his surname by any chance...Huang?”

Yiyang nodded. “That’s right. How did you know that though? It didn’t seem like you two know each other.”

He sighed again. “So my suspicions were correct. I’ve met him before, although he probably doesn’t remember me.”

“Before? Like, how long ago?”

“Such a long time ago. Even before you were born,” he answered. “I also noticed just now that you were using a power bank?”

“Yeah, I forgot to charge my phone at work and I fell asleep unexpectedly so he lent his portable charger to me. Like I said, he’s helped me a lot.”

“That’s great, but what drew my attention was the panda design.”

Yiyang sat back. “Cute items like that are everywhere nowadays. I’m sure many people own something similar. It still doesn’t explain why you looked astonished.”

“True, but the Huang Zitao that I knew from many years ago _loved_ pandas. That’s what made me think of the possibility that they’re the same person. We weren’t close even back then, but out of all the interactions I’ve had with him, the one that stood out to me was when he made me buy a panda plushie for him at a market — otherwise he wouldn’t let me date his mother.”

“Okay, so what you’re saying is that many, many years ago, you bought a plushie for a kid so that he’d accept your relationship with his mother. It’s a small world, huh?”

“It doesn’t stop there,” he went on. “Soon after that, I married his mother — and then we had you.”

Yiyang’s jaw dropped and she felt chills run down her spine. Her eyes went wide and she was at a loss for words for a moment, her facial expressions probably mirroring her father’s moments ago. “So he’s...but I...what…”

“Do you now see why I would not even want to bring myself to wonder if he’s your new boyfriend?” He asked grimly.

“Y-yes…” she uttered in disbelief. “Because we share a mother and he’s...my elder half-brother.”

Both of them were silent for a few moments.

“Well,” Yiyang gulped and spoke, finally. “You’ll be relieved to know that there is absolutely _nothing_ romantic between us. But are you sure these aren’t just a series of coincidences?”

“I would dismiss all of it as coincidental, if it weren’t for how much he looked like your mother when she was young,” said her father. “Very soon after she and I got married, we moved to London because of her job. I actually didn’t really want to go. The kind of life over there is not for me and it strays so far from the life that I had envisioned for myself. Over the years, I only came to like it less and less, whereas your mother loved it over there. I think maybe she liked being there more than she liked being with me. We also disagreed on a lot of other things as time passed, and it reached a point where it was just better for us to separate.”

“So you moved back to China with me after the divorce, and she doesn’t keep in contact with us anymore,” Yiyang finished the story for him.

“It’s a shame,” he shrugged. “But our paths were meant to diverge. Like I said, she likes it over there in London, probably more than anything else in the world. So I’m sure she’s happier there and she’s probably moved on with her own life already. Just as we have, here, and we’re happy with where we are too, aren’t we.”

Yiyang nodded, but honestly, she could not really see the resemblance between her mother and Zitao in terms of looks. It had been a decade since she last saw her mother anyway, and as her parents’ relationship worsened, mother and daughter did not stay in touch anymore. Indeed it was a pity.

“One more thing,” her father added. “I also remember this about Zitao as a kid. He wasn’t like other children and he spent a lot of his time practicing martial arts. _His_ father’s decision to send him to training and all that. But he got into an accident once and he had to get stitches on his head. Kid almost died and it scared the living daylights out of us. If you find out somehow that he’s had this experience too, then it can’t be a coincidence now, can it?”

Yiyang gasped. “That...that’s literally the anecdote he shared with me on the way home just now. This is mind-blowing; I can’t believe he’s...he’s _family_. He’s blood.”

“Well, there you go. You have your answers.” The man got up and patted his daughter on the shoulder affectionately although she barely felt it as she was still deep in thought. “You got what you wanted. Now it’s time to go to sleep.”


	3. Emergency

A few more weeks had come and gone, and once again Dabin found herself in Zitao’s office during lunch hour.

“I can’t believe you really forgot to bring your phone to work,” said Dabin with a giggle, taking out Zitao’s phone from her handbag.

“Ah, thank you! Luckily you don’t have to go to work today,” he said happily, expecting her to hand it to him right away, but she surprised him by stepping back once his phone was close enough for him to grasp at. She hid it behind her back, prompting him to get out of his seat and get closer to her if he wanted his phone back. When he aimed for it again, she passed it from one hand to another so it continued to be out of his reach. Thinking she had the upper hand, she chortled, but he was actually just too willing to play along with her if this little game was what she desired. Soon, he secured her wrist and succeeded at getting what he wanted, stepping closer to her and smoothly pecked her on the lips.

“Well then, how do you plan to thank me for this huge favor?” Dabin asked playfully, sitting on Zitao’s lap.

“Hmm, I have an idea,” he replied, looking at her sweetly as he played with her hair.

“It better be a wicked idea,” she winked and threw her arms over his shoulders, leaning into him further.

“You’ll see,” he laughed tenderly. “So, how was your morning?”

“It was…” she shrugged and then smirked slyly. “Interesting.”

“Hmm? Care to elaborate?” He prodded, nuzzling his nose against hers.

“Nah, I think I’ll keep it a secret for now,” she announced. “But I can give you a hint.” Slowly she inched closer to him and whispered in his ear, “don’t let anybody see the most recent images on your camera roll.”

With that, she swung her legs to the side and stood up, smoothing out her dress. Reminding him that they were on for dinner tonight, she slipped out of his office and strode confidently to the elevator lobby. Also waiting there was a face she had seen before, and a name came to mind too.

“Yiyang? Hi,” Dabin piped up. She was in a good mood, and decided to not be wary of the Chinese girl today. “Going out for lunch?”

“Hello! Yes!” said Yiyang merrily. “I take it you’re here for Zitao-sunbaenim?”

Dabin nodded. “He left his phone at home; I can’t possibly let him go a day without this all-important device.”

Inside the elevator, Yiyang replied, “pardon me if I’m being nosy but...I know you two are flatmates and must be really close. It’s just that I’ve seen how you behave towards him and you’re so willing to make sacrifices for him. So I just can’t help but think that perhaps...perhaps you...do you have a crush on him?”

Dabin chuckled, not forgetting that she had not told Yiyang the whole truth about her relationship with Zitao. “It’s...nothing like that.”

“Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have made that assumption,” Yiyang replied sheepishly. “After all, he has a girlfriend. I-I mean, I’m sure you know all about it already.”

Dabin paused for a moment. “Zitao told you that?”

Yiyang nodded with enthusiasm. “Yeah, his eyes shine whenever he talks about her,” she explained fondly. “I guess he really loves her a lot. Not like my ex could ever relate though.”

Dabin could not at all help the sweet smile that grew on her face. “Ah,” she said eventually. “The one that got stolen by your flatmate? Trash.”

“Agreed,” Yiyang uttered. “Trash.”

“Don’t worry. You’re a lovely girl and you deserve better,” said Dabin as the elevator doors opened. “I gotta go. Have a nice day.”

* * *

It had been a while since Yiyang found out from her father that she and Zitao were probably related, but she had not told a single soul about this. None of her friends knew, and not even Zitao himself. Truthfully, Yiyang did not know how to tell anyone about it either. She could not find the words to say. ‘Hey, I just found out that I actually have a maternal half-brother and he’s a sunbaenim at the office I work at’? It was too bizarre and even Yiyang herself needed some time to process this. And throughout this time, she was conflicted and kept wondering if she should tell Zitao about this. Her father had no objections either way; it was Yiyang herself who could not make up her mind. It was more than a coincidence, more than a suspicion, more than a hypothesis, and there was no other plausible explanation for how all the dots were connected, yet some part of her still felt like it could not possibly be real.

Although Yiyang and her mother were estranged, and she was certain that her parents did not have any eagerness to communicate with each other again, she did not know what kind of a relationship Zitao had with their mother and how close they were. What if they still talked? One day, he might also find out about this secret. And then would she have to pretend to not know about any of this? Ugh, it was exhausting. This whole dilemma was exhausting, and she was fed up with it.

Eventually, she decided to tell him about it, and there was no better time than now. Of course, she had the concern that he would not believe her, but then there was also a chance that he would. And maybe it would not be such a bad thing since they were on good terms anyway.

When Yiyang saw that Zitao was not at his desk, she decided to check the rooftop too — it was a hotspot for many colleagues who wanted to take a smoke break. Indeed, she found him there, an unlit cigarette between his fingers and a look of guilt on his face. He was about to light it, but changed his mind as soon as Yiyang coughed to clear her throat.

“Hey,” he said spiritedly, glad that having a conversation with Yiyang would help him resist the temptation to smoke. He had been trying to quit but his determination had been wavering. “I’m guessing you’re not here to catch a smoke, eh?”

“You’re right. I’m just looking for you. Have you got a moment?” She asked a bit nervously.

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“There’s...something I should tell you.”

* * *

Zitao only stayed behind for around half an hour after work, wrapping things up efficiently so he could show up on time to dinner with his beloved Dabin. After the meal, they took their time strolling back to the carpark, exchanging ideas for what to get for dessert.

“Okay. So if glutinous rice balls are too heavy, how about osmanthus jelly?” He suggested.

“Ah, I don’t want it unless it’s your stepmom who’s making it,” she giggled. “It’s simply the _best_ I’ve ever tasted and nothing else will satisfy me.”

“Fair enough, I can definitely agree that she’s the best cook I’ve ever met,” he nodded and laughed too. “Lucky for us, Victoria’s coming back next week. And once she does, we’re all gonna be going to my dad’s place for dinner. So hopefully my stepmom will cook for us, and we’ll all be blessed.”

“Yay! And for sure abalone is gonna be on the menu, since that’s your stepsister’s favorite.”

“She absolutely cannot live without it,” he chuckled.

“I can’t wait. I know we just had dinner but I can’t believe this is making me hungry _again_ ,” she squealed, squeezing his hand and leaning onto him as they walked side by side. That was when she felt him stiffen and pause in his tracks, causing her to follow suit albeit in confusion as she untangled herself from him reluctantly. “Zitao? Is something wrong?” She questioned and squinted, looking in the same direction as he was. She could not understand why he was so startled all of a sudden; to her it truly did not seem like anything was alarming.

Zitao fished out his car keys from his pocket and shoved it into Dabin’s hand. “Wait in the car,” he instructed hurriedly. “My sister needs me.”

Without further explanation, he crossed the road in a rush, running full speed ahead.

“Hey!” Dabin shouted. “Huang Zitao! Where are you going?!”

He was already too far away to hear her, and she still had no clue what was going on. What the heck did he think he was doing? Cursing under her breath, she gripped the car keys tightly in her fist and looked on in worry. She decided to track him with her gaze from a distance, as the red light and fast cars had prevented her from following him closely. She needed to see what in the world was going on. What could possibly have prompted him to act so impulsively?

* * *

“Get away from me,” Yiyang hissed at the man who had been bothering her. “I told you, I don’t know you.” She glowered at him and walked faster, but he caught up to her quickly and effortlessly.

“Come on! Don’t you remember?” He cackled and tried to put his hand on her shoulder. “We had such a good time —”

“Stop it!” She demanded, forcefully yanking the straps of her handbag off her shoulder just to get him to unhand her. “Not once in my life have I seen you before. Leave me alone.”

“No way! How can you say you don’t know who I am?” He pressed on relentlessly, while the perverted smirk on his face only seemed to grow as he snaked his arm around her waist. “Last time, we —”

“Don’t touch me!” She yelled at him, pushing him away in disgust. It caused passersby to stop and stare but none willing to step forward to intervene. Feeling helpless, she felt tears rush to her eyes, not knowing what else she could do to protect herself. These heels made it so difficult for her to walk fast, and unsurprisingly she tripped, letting out a yelp in pain. Luckily, someone grabbed her by the arm, holding her up. It was not the stranger who had been harassing her from one end of the street to the other. She looked up and found herself face to face with Zitao.

“Aigoo, darling, I told you not to wear those heels,” said Zitao worriedly, putting on an act in an attempt to get Yiyang away from someone who was clearly making her uncomfortable. “Does it hurt? Can you walk? Come on, let’s get you to my car.”

Instantly, relief washed over her. “Oppa,” she replied immediately, hoping he could rescue her. “You know I only wear heels because you said you like it,” she added as she looked at Zitao pleadingly and with doe eyes, all an act for the other man to witness.

“You...how come...who are you?” The stranger paled, taking a step back.

“I should be the one asking you that,” Zitao snapped whilst pulling Yiyang close. “Why were you talking to her and touching her?”

“Oppa, I don’t know that guy. He’s been following me and he just won’t stop harassing me,” she shuddered as she explained.

Angrily, Zitao glared at him. “You stay the fuck away from her, you fucking scumbag,” he warned. “Don’t you dare bother her again.”

“What?! I didn’t...didn’t do anything! I just thought...thought she’s a...an old friend. Guess I got the wrong person,” he spluttered and just blurted the first excuse that came to mind. He did not dare look Zitao in the eye but he certainly took notice of Zitao’s height and build. Very quickly he was able to conclude that Zitao could probably beat him up, and it would be in his best interests to give up on targeting Yiyang, as she was no longer a vulnerable and easy victim as she seemed before Zitao came along. Hastily, he turned on his heel and scampered away, until he was out of sight.

Yiyang let out a sigh in relief and finally felt a bit less unsafe. “Thank you,” she spoke in Mandarin while dabbing at her eyes. “I was just trying to get to the subway station but he wouldn’t leave me alone and I’m really scared. I’m so scared. I don’t know what he wants with me and he just wouldn’t stop.”

“It’s alright, you’re safe now,” said Zitao in reassurance, handing a tissue to her. “Is your ankle okay?”

“Yeah…” she sniffled, still clinging to him while her sweaty palm and her tears soaked the tissue. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Do you want me to walk you to the station?” He offered.

She nodded tearfully. “Yes, please.”

“Come on then, let’s go.”


	4. Dirty Minds Think Alike

“So, are we ready to talk about it?” Zitao asked calmly after he and Dabin got home and they both took a much needed shower. They sat down on the sofa together, after a car ride of not saying a single word to each other. It was really Dabin’s face of anger that made Zitao believe it was better to keep his mouth shut for a while. But now, he hoped that she would be willing to listen to his explanations.

“Sure,” Dabin replied sardonically, not even willing to look at Zitao. “I'd love to.”

“Alright,” he said. “You can start by listing all the things that happened tonight that you're not happy with. Other than not getting dessert.”

“I have no appetite for that anymore. And don't be so flippant. Do you have any idea how careless you were? Crossing the road at a red light? With cars approaching in _both_ directions?” She huffed. “You want death, you can get it by my wrath.”

He reached for her hand and smiled when she made no protest. “At least you still care for me.”

“Well of course I do! Although I can't say the same about the other way around,” she complained, folding her arms across her chest. “I say this because you had the audacity to leave me on my own on the streets. Not the best way to make me feel valued.”

“In my defense, there was an emergency.” He proceeded to explain what actually happened and that what Dabin saw was misleading.

“Okay, I believe you. But what I don't get is why you mentioned, as you gave me your car keys, that your sister needed you. I'm so confused and I feel lied to, because when I was in the car waiting for you, Victoria-eonni texted me and assured me that she's completely fine and unharmed. I was worried about you and worried about her too.”

“Well…” he took a deep breath. “When I mentioned ‘my sister’, I actually wasn't talking about Victoria.”

Bewildered, Dabin threw her hands up in the air.

“But I assure you! I wasn't lying to you!” Zitao insisted.

“Elaborate, please.”

“Long story short: Xu Yiyang, the new intern at my office, is my half-sister from my mother’s side.”

Dabin’s jaw dropped. “How…? And why didn't you tell me about it?”

“I only just found out today,” he answered and recapped everything to her. “You know I'm gonna fly to London to visit my mother and stepfather in August, right? I’m actually thinking about asking Yiyang to come with me. I'm planning for my trip to be around the time of Yiyang’s birthday too, so I'm considering bringing her there to reunite with our mother. It's been many years since they last saw and talked to each other, but I just figure that our mother should know that her kids are working at the same company now, and that life has a funny way of bringing us all together.”

“I see…” Dabin nodded slowly. “Well, I'm glad you two are related. So I don't have to worry about her stealing you from me.”

Zitao giggled. “Was that what you were concerned about? No, I'm not gonna let her or anyone get in between us.”

“Hmm, it's a relief. Although, it's just that I saw how you hugged her and you were so attentive towards her...like when you handed tissues to her and massaged her ankle for her...I really thought you'd only do these things for me,” she admitted. “I think tonight you've done something good and it saved someone in need. But I still gotta tell you, I don't want to feel less important than someone you've met just a few weeks ago. Even if she's your half-sister, and even if she appears to be a sweet girl from the few conversations I've had with her.”

“Relax, my love. She's not gonna take the place you hold in my heart. No one can. She's a very sweet girl indeed, and I should be the one getting worried that once you get to know her, in no time you're gonna wanna hang out with her and you'll be neglecting me.” He pouted, and she smiled.

“That only means you should try harder to keep my attention,” she said playfully.

“Oh yeah? I wanna be the only one on your mind,” he declared, sitting closer to her on the sofa now that they had settled the issue and clarified any misunderstanding.

“We’ll see if you've earned it. Have you been a good boy today?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Yes!” He declared. “I stuck to the quota that we set.”

“So how are we doing today?” She asked intently, moving to straddle his lap. Eagerly he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Well, I _was_ going to let myself smoke 4 cigarettes, but then Yiyang came up to me and told me the biggest news I’ve heard in a while, so my attention was entirely on that and I didn’t even realize I had only had 3 sticks today,” he reported honestly, hoping she would be proud of him for adhering to the plan they had together devised to help him curb the habit. But contrary to his expectations, she pouted.

“Why is everything about her,” she groused. He could tell from her tone that she was not serious, but he also agreed that it was Dabin who deserved his full attention. Especially since he did leave her all by herself on the streets just now, and she did not sign up for that.

He smiled knowingly and drew her in. “Is somebody jealous?”

She smacked him on the shoulder lightly. “Why should I be jealous of my boyfriend’s sister? This is not possible.”

“Well, I didn’t say it was _you_ ,” he joked, and of course she looked as if she was about to protest but he did not give her that chance. Promptly diving in to kiss her, she was robbed of the opportunity to complain and whine, but she decided to not press charges against him for now. Although it felt like a good idea to press her _body_ against his, so that none of the intimacy of their contact was lost when they pulled apart from the kiss.

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten,” he added right after. She took notice of how lustful the look in his eyes was, and she knew she was completely to blame for that. “I see you’ve had an interesting morning.”

She smiled secretively. “What could possibly have given you that impression?”

“Really just taking a wild guess based on the pics and vids _you_ took using _my_ phone this morning, before bringing it to me during lunch hour,” he answered, even though she knew it already. “So, if you’ve already had your fun, then what do you need me for?” He challenged lightheartedly, cupping her face and giving her another kiss.

“It’s up to you to prove yourself useful,” she suggested, poking his chest to spur him on.

“Oh yes, good idea. I think I’m going to do exactly that,” he replied, reaching up to grab her hand and then guiding her to touch his crotch. He made it obvious that she was making him hard, which made her smirk pompously. “All this talk about dessert just now — you really just want to eat _this_ , huh?” He questioned, shooting a glance at where she was slowly rubbing him up and down now.

“Nope,” she answered, shaking her head. “You haven’t earned it.”

“Oh, but _you_ have?” He chuckled breathily. “You want me to eat you?”

She nodded expectantly. “Like I said, make yourself useful,” she said sweetly, then started to unbutton her shirt. Immediately he helped her undress, and once he got her out of her skirt, he had her cling tightly to him as he carried her to the bed. He got out of his work clothes too and then pulled her panties down but left her bra and unbuttoned shirt on.

“Admit it. It’s more fun when I’m pleasuring you than when you have to do it yourself,” he said confidently and lied down, shifting and adjusting the pillows under his head to make himself comfortable. “I’ve been thinking about it all day. I _really_ want you to sit on my face.”

“I guess our dirty minds think alike then,” she commented, already pleased to see that he was eager to lie back and put the focus on giving her pure bliss. Skillfully, she straddled his mouth, making sure there was a few inches of room for him to breathe. Once she was settled, he tucked her calves under his shoulders and rested his hands on her thighs as he went to town.

It did not take long for her to release a moan as he started off by licking her slit up and down. A gentle moan, but nonetheless effectively showing him how much she was enjoying this. Although he was offering to give her pleasure, he was also having a great time roaming his hands all over her hips. He grunted too; she was so sexy and from this angle he had a perfect view of her body. This only prompted him to kiss and suck her more passionately, which made her gasp in delight. She gripped the bedposts tight, thankful for the added stability and balance so she could really let herself give in to the pleasure she was getting from his sinful mouth. His tongue technique was really something else, especially when his focus was on stimulating her sensitive clit, nudging it with his tongue from the right angles and with the right amount of pressure. Just from the way she writhed, he knew he was doing it right. She was so wet, and it reminded him of how hard he was. This delightful indicator of how ready for him she was only served to make him even hornier. As she trembled in ecstasy, he could tell she was close, and he was determined to bring her to her climax. With both hands he gave her butt a squeeze, and instantly she moaned his name loudly. Her breath quickened as he sucked and licked her with heightened intensity, so much that she thought she could not take it, but she did not ask him to stop — it was the last thing she wanted.

“Please,” she gasped brokenly, sweating and throwing her head back in utter ecstasy. He decided to oblige, stroking her thighs tenderly but there was nothing tender about the way he stimulated her at this point. He gave her the friction that she so loved and craved, knowing it was what she needed to reach her orgasm, and he was right. She came, and a lustful moan was ripped from her throat, weakening as she sank deeper and deeper into the blissful sensation that overtook her.

As she waited for this intense feeling to gradually subside, she uncurled her palms around the bedposts and felt his hands sneak up to unclasp her bra. She could hear him taking deeper breaths but he had no eagerness for a pause. Feeling cooperative, she moved to take everything off and then did the same for him.

“Let me do the work this time,” she offered, evidently in the best mood. “Baby, you had such a great view just now, didn’t you?” She asked on purpose, wondering if his dirty thoughts would be in sync with hers.

“Fuck, I loved it,” he replied right away with much enthusiasm, and then something clicked in his mind. “Oh! You wanna try that _thing_ you talked about last time, don’t you?”

She nodded happily. “Where might this _thing_ be?”

He chuckled, tilting his head slightly in the direction of the nightstand. “First drawer.”

Deftly she pulled the drawer open and found the item she was looking for: a leather blindfold.

“Alright. I’m ready,” he announced, smiling as he saw how excited she was. The moment she put the blindfold on him, his imagination started to run wild. He could not see anything right now, but the NSFW photos she left on his phone earlier today came to mind. Even though she still had not started to touch him, he was already so turned on.

“Relax, baby,” she whispered in his ear seductively. “I promise I’ll make you feel good.”


	5. Habits

“I’m gonna pop to the loo real quick,” said Yiyang to her father after they finished their dinner at a restaurant.

“Yep, I’ll get the bill first,” he replied. She got out of her seat and made her way to the end of the corridor when she heard someone call her name — a familiar voice despite the noise in the restaurant. She turned around and saw an equally familiar face.

“Zitao-gege,” she greeted in Mandarin and waved politely at her brother who was seated at a table with several other men. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you just now. You’re here with your friends?”

“Yeah. Didn’t think I’d run into you here,” he grinned.

“I’m just here with my dad. We’re about to leave though. I’ll see you after the weekend?”

“Sure, see you!”

Once she was out of sight, Zitao’s friends’ effusive discussion commenced.

“Whoa, Zitao, who’s this chick? Is she legal? Just barely, I hope?”

“Nice legs and a pretty face! Girls like that are a rarity these days.”

“Didn’t understand a single thing she said just now, but damn, she a 10.”

“A solid 10! Suits my taste.”

“Zitao, tell us, is she single or taken? Or have you set your sights on her already?”

Zitao rolled his eyes at them. “Could you guys be a bit more respectful? She’s one of my hoobaes; we work at the same office. And pipe down a little; her father is just sitting at the table over there.”

His friends collectively ‘ooh’ed, still looking like hungry wolves determined to prey on Yiyang and exchanging remarks that were only getting more and more inappropriate. Zitao frowned at them in distaste and shifted in his seat. “Hey, are we done eating?” He asked dryly. “I’m bored. Where we headed next?”

“Hookah lounge!” One of his closest friends, Jinsong, suggested. Everyone happily agreed, except Zitao himself, which did not escape their notice.

“Zitao,” said Jinsong, casually draping his arm across his friend’s shoulders. “How come our maknae doesn’t look pleased? It’s been a while since all of us could get together. Come on, come have some fun with us. All work and no play —”

“Makes Zitao a dull boy!” Their friends chimed in and finished Jinsong’s sentence for him, never failing to demonstrate just how much influence he had over them. No wonder he felt entitled to the smug smirk on his face.

“The people have spoken,” said Jinsong to Zitao, nudging him. “There’s no harm in having a nice evening now is there?”

“Yeah, but do we really _have_ to go to that shisha bar again?” Zitao asked glumly.

“Zitao! Tsk, tsk, tsk. I’m offended you’d ask that. Of course we won’t be going to _that_ shisha bar again. We already went last time and the waitresses were hot but the music was boring. Bleh,” Jinsong snorted and made a face, while one of their friends responded by giving a thumbs down, in a joint effort to talk Zitao into joining them. “Where are we going tonight, fellas?”

“The Dale Bar!” They replied in unison and cheered, clearly excited.

Zitao sighed. He knew he was no match against them. “What I mean is, can’t we just go to a karaoke box instead? Or the bowling center just a few blocks away.”

“Yeah, yeah! Of course we can, Zitao. Of course we can,” said Jinsong right away, but again Zitao knew better. His suggestions would never be enough to put Jinsong in such an ebullient mood. “Let’s do that...next time, okay? Next time, pal, next time.”

* * *

Several hours later, Zitao finally got home, drunk as fuck. Groaning, Dabin rolled out of bed and attended her boyfriend. He could barely walk a straight line at this point; it was a miracle that he managed to get home without bumping into a lamppost or otherwise injuring himself on the way.

“Zitao…” Dabin shook her head in disapproval, helping him make his way to the bathroom. She was sleepy too, but still crouched to help him wash his face. “Why are you like this?”

“I...hmm…” he slurred incoherently. “Jinsong-hyung...he said...fun...not dull…”

She sighed and let him change into comfortable clothes. She soon returned with a glass of water, careful not to let any of it spill when she sneezed. She sniffled in dissatisfaction, knowing it was the unappealing stench of shisha and alcohol that made her sneeze repeatedly. She felt the urge to berate him, but in the end she only took a deep breath and said nothing. It would be futile, since she knew he was too inebriated to make sense of what she was saying. No point in having this conversation if he was not even in his right mind to really listen to what she wanted to say to him.

As he brushed his teeth, she helped him put his clothes into the laundry basket. When emptying his pockets, she found his pack of cigarettes. Opening it, she saw that he had indeed not smoked more sticks than he promised he would. He had been following the daily quota that they had agreed on, in an attempt to help him quit smoking. She understood, of course, that it would be impractical to demand that he get rid of this habit overnight. However, when he came home smelling this nasty, she felt as if these efforts were in vain.

Once she heard him close the bathroom door and flop down onto the bed, she joined him but still looked unhappy about this. She could not help but ask, “do you and your friends really have nothing better to do than go to shisha bars all the time?”

“Well, it was either hookah or hookers,” he answered guiltlessly, yawning as he pulled the covers over their bodies. In no time, he was already snoring lightly.

Huffing in disappointment, she switched off the lights and went to sleep as well, with her back to his.

* * *

The next morning, Dabin was having breakfast in silence until Zitao stirred and woke up. He whimpered and massaged his temples, sitting up but not willing to get out of bed. Quickly she finished her food, cleaned up, and walked up to his side of the bed. “You hungover?” She asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“No, I’m fine,” he lied.

“Sure,” she replied monotonously, handing some pills and a glass of warm water to him.

“Thanks,” he croaked, downing the pills and ruffling his hair. “You going somewhere?” He asked groggily, noticing that she was fully dressed for work. “Wait, isn’t it the weekend?”

“Yeah, but I gotta attend a briefing. I’ve got a business trip tomorrow morning, remember?”

“Uh...yeah, I, um, sure, I remember. Taipei, right?”

“Macau,” she corrected, evidently displeased.

“Right, Macau. That’s what I was gonna say.”

“You know, if you feel like crap, why don’t you get a bit more sleep,” she suggested. At least when he was asleep he could not disappoint her. “It’s still early. Just don’t miss dinner with my family tonight.”

“Hmm, nah, maybe I’ll take a nap later. I’m hungry. And I could probably use a shower,” he said, finally getting out of bed. But when he stood up, he felt slightly dizzy. “Whoops, guess the alcohol is still in my system.”

“I don’t know why you still keep up with this reckless lifestyle,” she finally blurted. “You don’t even like it that much yourself, but you still do it for your ‘friends’ time after time.”

He paused, not anticipating her frustrations to be so evident. “Well, it’s like you said, they’re my friends.”

“Are they, though?” She challenged, folding her arms. “Because if they can’t even respect your preferences and your wishes, then they’re shitty friends and you shouldn’t even hang out with them anymore.”

He grimaced at his throbbing head and her complaints were not helping in the slightest. “How am I supposed to just drop them?” He questioned, annoyed. “I’ve been friends with them for such a long time, and some of them are my dad’s business partners’ sons and nephews or whatever. I kind of _have_ to appear to blend in with them, at the very least.”

“So wherever they go, you go? Whatever they do, you follow? What are you, their lapdog?” She scoffed.

“Hey, that’s insulting!”

“Yes, it is!” She raised her voice too, since he did as well. “That’s how you let your ‘friends’ treat you. It _is_ insulting.”

“What _I_ find insulting is my girlfriend having a problem with me having a social life.”

“Zitao! That’s beside the point! Having a social life is supposed to be healthy for you, and I would have absolutely no objections to that if it were actually healthy! But it’s not! What were you saying last night? Either hookah or hookers? I know damn well that you don’t agree with how shallow your friends are, but you —”

“You think I didn’t try standing up to them? They pretty much gang up on me and I don’t want them to think that I’m boring or whatever,” he argued.

“Oh yeah? So you don’t care if your girlfriend thinks that you’re immature, or whatever?”

“It’s not that I don’t care what you think!” He shouted. “For fuck’s sake, what I’m trying to say is that —”

“This is unhealthy for you on so many levels! You literally just admitted that your friends bully you into doing stupid shit. Your friends are toxic, your habits are toxic, you —”

“Funny you should mention my habits, because I was doing so well sticking to our plan and quotas! I was making good progress!” He seethed.

“Yes, you were! Until last night! When you smoked a truck load of tobacco and it fucks up your lungs and the smell! God! The smell! It’s awful! That shit stinks and it lingers and no matter how many windows you open, or what kind of room mist you spray, or what kind of air freshener you buy. It still stays and it never goes away, and it’s all because you’re stupid and you can’t make decisions that are good for yourself!” She exclaimed.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?! I don’t need you to make decisions for me; I’m a grown ass man, and I sure can —”

“Then act like one!” She demanded. “My goodness. Do you even hear yourself right now? I can’t believe you really believe from the bottom of your heart that you’re capable of making the best decisions for your own well-being, when you would let your friends walk all over you and pressure you into doing unhealthy shit. And the worst thing is that you _keep_ doing it. You _keep_ putting up with their behavior. Honestly, I don’t know how you do it. And then you come home, stinking and wasted and needing someone else to take care of you, but you don’t ever stop and think about that, do you? Really, Zitao? Your father’s associates’ relatives are more important than _my_ feelings? More important than your own health? And then you have the audacity to yell at me after all that I’ve done for you? You’re unbelievable.”

Feeling helpless and defeated, she grabbed her handbag and stormed out of their flat. She had said all that she wanted to say, and still it had failed to knock some sense into him. She dabbed at the tears in her eyes, not knowing what else she could do or say to make it all better. She kept in mind that she was going to go on a business trip tomorrow, and she had a hunch that he would be living recklessly again while she was away. It was a huge disappointment to her and it was not like she wanted to restrict his freedom and choice to do as he pleased, but could he for once do something that was not destructive to his health? Or was that unreasonable too? Was that really too much to ask?

Drying her tears, she went to work, wondering how she was going to deal with him later on, especially since they were supposed to meet up with her family for dinner in the evening.


	6. Intoxication

Zitao waited for his head to stop throbbing before cooking a simple lunch for himself. As his whole mind was occupied by his fight with Dabin since morning, he was well aware that he would not be able to focus on doing much. He just sat idly on the sofa, watching a recent drama. Episode played after episode and he stared at the TV screen without getting fully invested in the show. If only his friends would listen to him, then Dabin would not have had to get mad, and then he would not have had to argue with her.

Absentmindedly, he picked up the remote, once again pressing the ‘play’ button but then realizing that there was no next episode for him to watch because he was all caught up with the drama. He sighed, feeling like there was nothing he was in the mood to do. He was sleepy enough to take a nap but he also did not want to waste away a Saturday like this.

Yawning, he started to check the messages on his phone. There was an infinite supply of lame jokes and memes from the group chat with the lads he was hanging out with last night, but he was not interested. On the other hand, he received a call from Jinsong.

“Zitao! Cancel all your plans today and tomorrow; we got things to see and people to do,” said Jinsong merrily.

“Ya, Park Jinsong. I’m not in the mood,” Zitao replied irritably.

“No? But I am,” Jinsong laughed. “At least join me for Saturday Happy Hour.”

Zitao paused. It was not like he had anything better to do and he did have to find a way to kill time. Still several boring hours to go before dinnertime. “What about the gang?”

“Oh, them? I don’t know. They won’t pick up their phones. Probably still asleep or something. But who cares. They’ll be missing out on the fun we’ll be having and it’s gonna be their loss. So, what do you say? Meet me at Rosemary Lounge in an hour’s time, yeah? You like the al fresco patio, I like the cocktails — it’s a win-win situation, so don’t say I only ever do things my way.”

Zitao cheered up at the mention of that bar. He did like the atmosphere a lot and it had been a while since he had been there. “Yep! I’ll see you there!”

* * *

“So how have you been? How are things going with Raon-noona?” Zitao asked as he and Jinsong drank and smoked at the bar.

“Oh, well, same old. Our engagement is back on again,” Jinsong answered, shrugging as if his nonchalant attitude was not obvious enough already.

“Wow. Again?”

“Aren't you happy for me?”

“You two have been on again and off again for the past five years. Probably more than that. Isn’t it frustrating when there’s no stability in your relationship?”

“Hmm, well. She can’t help crawling back to me every time we break up, and I’ll keep taking her back because her family is wealthy as fuck. What can I say? I’m a hedonist. I like expensive shit. And I can buy all sorts of luxurious stuff using her money. I ain’t even gotta work a single day of my life. What’s not to like about that?” He laughed. “We’re not getting any younger. We know it, she knows it, and so does her family because they’re really starting to pressure her to find a good husband and settle down,” he added, pointing to himself as if he would truly make a good husband. “Her mother is _determined_ to have me as her son in law no matter what.”

“What, because you’re so charming and well-mannered and there’s no doubt you’re the perfect match for her daughter?”

“Aha, I would say ‘your words, not mine’, but those are actually _her_ words. Can't even make this shit up,” he replied pompously. “So yeah, Raon and I, we have our ups and downs. We —”

Zitao snorted. “‘Ups and downs’? That’s putting it mildly. I can’t even count how many people you’ve cheated on her with.”

“What I mean is, our relationship has not always been smooth anyway. But at the end of the day, you can miss me with that stability bullshit, because despite our tumultuous past, she still wants to be with me and I still want to be with her. Probably for different reasons, I’ll give you that. But hey, other couples aren’t much better, to be honest. You don’t think your girl stays with you because of your money?”

Zitao was the one to laugh this time, almost forgetting that he and Dabin were supposed to be mad at each other. “If Dabin really only cared about money, she would’ve married someone much richer already. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Sure,” Jinsong drawled flippantly. “But the thing is, why haven’t the two of you tied the knot yet? If you two are so in love with each other, hmm?”

Zitao quieted down again. “It’s complicated.”

Jinsong sighed too. “It always is. But it’s certainly not the first time the two of you have had a fight, so I’m sure she’ll get over it soon. And so will you, and then in no time you’ll be back to being the sweetest couple that everybody is envious of. At least, that’s how you want it to turn out. It’s all just your wishful thinking. The sooner you become disillusioned with love and romance and relationships, the less you’ll have to suffer. I’m just telling you the truth, man. Expectation is often quite different than reality, and reality is that...relationships are just not gonna last.”

“Seriously, why do you have to be so cynical? Dabin and I have been together for seven years now; why wouldn’t you believe in what we have?” Zitao frowned.

“Haven’t you ever heard of the seven-year itch?”

“Yeah, of course I have, but that’s just made up,” he remarked dismissively. “What would you know about that though? You haven’t ever had a relationship that lasted more than seven years. You’re lucky if your relationships last seven _months_.”

“Whoa, I didn’t come here to get roasted but if that’s what’s gonna make you feel better after the fight this morning then, as your friend, I suppose some sacrifices are necessary,” Jinsong joked.

A waitress then came along and asked if the two of them wanted to make any more orders because Happy Hour was finishing. However, this served as a timely reminder to Zitao that he had dinner plans.

“Oh shit, is that the time? I’ve got to get going,” he said and cursed under his breath, getting out of his seat in a hurry. “Look, I’ll pay you back next time, okay? I better go, like, now.”

* * *

“Good evening,” said Zitao to Dabin and the rest of her family, bowing politely at them once he found their table in the busy restaurant. He showed up right on time, inwardly infinitely thankful that he still managed to be punctual, even though he left the bar later than he should have just now.

As he got seated, he nodded and exchanged friendly smiles with Dabin’s elder sister Solbin and her husband Baekhyun. However, he tensed up once he sat down opposite to Dabin because it was obvious from the look on her face that she was still not cool with him from their row this morning. Worse yet, she practically looked murderous at this point, as if she would not be able to contain her fuming rage if they were not in public. He also noticed that her parents’ facial expression went from neutral to one of disapproval and disappointment. Dabin wrinkled her nose and barely tried to conceal the dissatisfaction that she and her parents shared.

“So! Now that everyone's here, shall we order something to drink?” Baekhyun asked, noting the awkwardness in the air but not wanting it to ruin everybody's mood.

“I'll just have some water for now,” said Dabin curtly, flipping through the pages of the menu without really paying attention to the dishes listed on each page.

“I'll...have the same then,” Zitao chimed in, realizing it would probably be a better idea to appear to agree with Dabin no matter what. Given his circumstances, he would not dare further contradict her and earn her and her parents’ displeasure.

“Oh? No more alcohol for you today?” She questioned sharply. There was no denying that he smelled like alcohol and cigarettes, and it was unpleasant. Sure she had not talked to Zitao since she left the house this morning, but her nose knew enough to inform her of his whereabouts and activities this afternoon, and she was infuriated.

“Maybe...later…” he replied somewhat timidly.

“Well go on, don't let me stop you,” she added heatedly, shoving the menu toward him and nearly causing the cutlery atop the napkin to fall off the table. She did not care, but he threw a dirty look at her.

“Dabin-ah,” said Solbin, subtly shaking her head at her sister to advise her against openly displaying her discontent with Zitao. Dabin got the hint, stifling a sigh. Her glare was softened but her eyebrows stayed furrowed together.

A waiter came along soon enough and took their orders, after which the six of them fell silent again. The girls’ father piped up, hoping to diffuse the uneasiness. “So, how's work for you kids?” He asked, glancing at the four youngsters he was seated around.

“Going quite well, actually!” Baekhyun answered right away, clearing his throat when he realized he might have responded too quickly. “I've just had a chat with Mr Huang, and he agreed to inject a sum of money into our company so we can go ahead with our expansion plans. I know initially he was hesitant because we weren't making as much profit as he was aiming for. But then Zitao put in a good word with his father for us,” he continued, shooting a mysterious glance at Zitao. “And I think that's what made Mr Huang change his mind. We couldn't have done it without Zitao. Right, Zitao?”

Zitao understood what Baekhyun was trying to do, even though he was also aware that Baekhyun had actually made it all up just to redeem him in front of the girls’ parents.

“Oh, it's no big deal. I'm sure my father would've made the investment anyways. No doubt he sees the potential for growth in your company,” he replied smoothly. Gradually, he observed that Dabin’s parents looked rather pleased now, and it was thanks to Baekhyun’s efforts to steer their impression of him into a more positive light. It was not his first time meeting Dabin’s family, but this time was certainly the most nerve-wracking occasion since she was very mad at him. He already had a girlfriend to pacify, and it would not work out in his favor if her parents were to evaluate him poorly.

“You guys are expanding? So does that mean you will become very busy soon?” Asked Baekhyun’s mother in law. “Will you still be able to make time to hang out with us as often then?”

“Of course! Don't worry about it. No matter how intense work gets, I'm still gonna put family first,” said Baekhyun confidently, never failing to live up to the expectations they had on their favored son in law.

The food then arrived and as they ate and chatted, a couple of hours had passed. After the meal, Baekhyun gave everyone a lift back home, dropping his parents in law off before driving to Zitao’s place and finally going home with Solbin.

Seeing as it was just the two of them in the car, Baekhyun spoke. “Honey, what’s up with your sister and Zitao? If looks could kill…”

Solbin sighed. “Yeah, I’m concerned too. It’s nothing new...the same issues that my sister’s talked to me about before.”

“Well, it’s pretty obvious that Zitao hasn’t quit smoking yet. I really didn’t expect him to come in smelling like vodka though. I mean, sure, we used to drink beer even in class, but we aren’t kids anymore. We’re old now. We’re hags, fossils…”

“Oh, come on. We haven’t even hit our thirties yet,” she giggled despite their concern about the younger couple.

“We’ll be there soon enough, and it’s not easy being old.”

She smacked him on the arm lightly. “We’re just slightly past halfway through our twenties.”

“Aren’t you an optimistic one,” he remarked lightheartedly.

“Yeah, I suppose so. I still have hope for my sister and Zitao. Actually I think it’s more because even though she sometimes sees the improvement she wants to see from him, it might not be consistent or he's doing something else that might have cancelled out the improvements he's made. That’s why she’s so frustrated with him,” she replied. “I know she’s been trying really, really hard to help him quit smoking. So I suppose in comparison, his efforts don’t seem to compare to hers, perhaps? Oh, you know what, I’m not entirely sure either. She hasn’t told me much about their rift this time. I think she’s already kind of stressed out, preoccupied with preparing for her business trip and whatnot. I told her not to worry about it. She’s gonna be fine. And Chanyeol is gonna give her a lift to the airport tomorrow morning, right?”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yeah. He’s gonna pick Yixing and Yifan up from the airport as well.”

“Oh yeah! I can’t wait to hear all about their trip. I’ve seen some of their pics from Banff and it’s _so_ beautiful,” Solbin gushed, stretching her arms. “You know, maybe a vacation is what my sister needs. Just take some time off and chill and not give a fuck about life and work and relationships all her other problems. Anyway, I sure hope she can at least get a good night’s sleep tonight.”

“Don't worry,” said Baekhyun, reassuring his wife. “I'm sure she and Zitao will figure something out.”


	7. Hell Hath No Fury

Zitao was well aware that now that he and Dabin got home, she would unleash her fury upon him as she did not have to hold back anymore. He knew what was coming and he dreaded it. Once she started scolding him, she would not be willing to listen to what he had to say. If he tried to stand up for himself he would only get interrupted and that would only add to his frustrations. If he had something to say for himself, he had better say it now.

“You know,” he piped up. “I don’t appreciate how you treated me just now when we were having dinner. We should deal with our disagreements in private, not while we’re in public. It’s _your_ family that we were meeting up with. No doubt they’re gonna take your side, and that’s no different than ganging up on me when it comes to deciding who’s right and who’s wrong between the two of us.”

“Oh really?” She absentmindedly threw her handbag onto the nearest chair, not even bothering to properly look at him. “I don’t think so. You saw how Baekhyun tried to praise you, to help you stay in my parents’ good graces. Although it seems like you just don’t give a damn anymore about what they think of you.” She shrugged and finally turned around, facing him. “Even if we were ganging up on you, so what? You’d still tolerate it. Just like you keep doing when your so-called friends do that to you.”

“What?! Of course I care what your parents think of me. Have you forgotten how nervous I was when you introduced me to your parents for the first time as your boyfriend? Because _I_ haven’t. And every time after that, whenever we meet up, I make sure to show up on time, dress nice, mind my manners —”

“I remember,” she interrupted, as expected. “First impressions are important, but they aren’t everything. What’s the point if you’re just going to ruin their impression of you? I don’t have a problem with your punctuality and the way you dress — but what I do have a problem with is your habits, and the person that you are whenever you’re under your friends’ influence. Would you care to explain why you smell _awful_? Oh, right! It’s because you were smoking and day-drinking, weren’t you?”

He was guilty as charged and could not come up with a strong comeback, but still felt like he needed to say something in his own defense. “Jinsong-hyung invited me to Happy Hour so I—”

“Him again?! You literally met up with him last night and did the same damn unhealthy things with him — do you not think it’s a bad idea? Or do you just completely lose the ability to make healthy decisions whenever you’re hanging out with him?” She shouted. “You know that I _hate_ that you have these bad habits, and my parents feel the same way about it. I’ve been making excuses for you for a long, long time. Even my sister has had to make excuses on your behalf, because she also knows that if you keep crossing these lines, one of these days my parents are gonna advise me to break up with you, _and I don’t want that_.”

“I told you, I’m gonna quit!” He exclaimed as well.

“Yeah! You keep saying it! And that’s what I keep telling my parents whenever they bring up this topic, but you’re never successful and you’re never fully clean and I don’t know how much longer I can keep convincing them that you’re really trying to curb this habit! So what if you started out as a social smoker? We both know it’s become an addiction and it’s getting out of control.”

“Goddammit, I _have_ been making progress and cutting down on it. And you’ve been witnessing it yourself but somehow, whenever it comes to trying to win an argument with me, you conveniently ignore how well I’ve been doing? How hard I try to stick to our plan and quotas?” He seethed, feeling wronged. “It isn’t easy at all, and it’s really so damn disheartening to see that my efforts aren’t paying off as much as _you_ want them to or as much as _we_ want them to. Honestly, if you’re just looking for an excuse to shame me, or if you want to call it quits with me since you’re so damn dissatisfied with me, then fucking say so.”

“That’s not at all what I’m trying to do!” She clarified, throwing her hands up in the air. She felt like she was about to lose her mind. “I was also trying my best to help you. But seriously, did you really, genuinely think it was a good idea to drink and smoke heavily _right_ before meeting my parents? Couldn’t you just ha—”

“Don’t!” He cut in. All this talk about her parents and how much she disliked Jinsong was reminding him of the conversation they had over drinks and cigarettes during Happy Hour. “ _Don’t_ loop your parents into this, because I don’t think they will mind very much that you’re dating someone who can pay your whole family’s bills even if you, your parents, your sister _and_ her husband retire this very moment. After all, that’s the only thing left about me that hasn’t been complained about yet. So I don't think they should protest too much when I occasionally smoke one or two sticks or have a couple cocktails.”

Dabin gasped, and would have choked on her words, if any even came to mind. Zitao had left her speechless, with her jaw hanging open and her eyes wide. When she finally reacted, it was just to shake her head in disbelief. She could not put into words how hurt she was, that he would think that she was staying with him solely because of his wealth, since the way he saw it was that she had a problem with his lifestyle, his friends, and everything else.

But apart from feeling hurt, she was also very angry and very disappointed. “I can’t believe that’s what you think of me and my family.” That was all that she could say to him, before the rush of tears made it difficult for her to speak coherent sentences.

She hurried to the bathroom and slammed the door shut, crying even as she removed her makeup and took her shower and dried her hair. By the time she was done, she found that Zitao was already asleep on his side of the bed.

She sighed to herself in despair. Had their relationship become so rocky that it was better for them to not interact since that meant they would not have the chance to continue fighting?

Either way, both of them had gone to sleep angry that night, and in the morning when her alarm rang, he barely stirred. She was still tired, more so emotionally than physically. She got out of bed anyway, and got ready quietly. Once she received Chanyeol’s text that his car was downstairs, she left the house with her luggage.

It was so early in the morning that when she stepped out of the building, she could still watch the sunrise. But it brought no sense of peace to her, and her troubling thoughts still remained to occupy her mind.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Chanyeol offered, his tone gentle and caring. “Got a lot on your mind?” He asked out of concern. “Baekhyun told me. Texted me last night and said you weren’t happy with your boyfriend.”

“Thanks,” she croaked quietly as she handed her luggage to him. Not wanting to tear up again, she simply shrugged and did not explain much. “Yeah. Something along those lines. I’m too sleepy to talk about it.”

He nodded in understanding and simply patted her on the shoulder for encouragement. Throughout the ride, he did not really try to make conversation with her, seeing as she looked troubled enough already. And as sleepy as she was, she could not properly rest her mind. Even though she did want to take a short nap on the way to the airport, every time she closed her eyes they would spring open again whenever she thought about dealing with Zitao. Then she would frown and grit her teeth and clench her fists together. She hated feeling this way and she wished these problems did not exist between herself and Zitao.

“We’re here,” Chanyeol announced, parking the car at a spot fairly near to the departure hall. He walked her to the check-in counter and helped her lift her suitcase onto the luggage belt. She stared emptily at the display screen as if she really cared to see how much her suitcase weighed, whereas he cleared his throat and asked the agent, “excuse me, could I ask if there are still any vacant seats in business class?”

“Wait, what?” Dabin snapped to attention.

“One moment please, I’ll check for you right away…” said the agent, who started typing on her keyboard right away. “Oh, you’re in luck. The flight load is pretty light today. There are some really nice business class seats available. Would you like to upgrade?” She asked, showing the aircraft seat map to Chanyeol and Dabin.

“What are you doing?” Dabin looked up at Chanyeol in complete confusion. This was very unexpected, and she was also too sleepy to catch on.

“Seat 18A looks nice,” said Chanyeol, taking out one of his credit cards from his wallet. “Please upgrade her to business. And she’ll take the VIP lounge pass as well. Thanks.”

“Dude, that’s over 300,000 Won!” Dabin gaped at Chanyeol, feeling very much awake now. She stared at him, then at the agent, and then back at him. She could not possibly let him spend that much money for her sake. Zitao’s words rang in her head but she was _not_ a gold digger. “The flight is just three and a half hours. I’ll land in no time and I can just sleep when I get to the hotel. I’m serious, you don’t have to —”

“Just relax, okay? Don’t worry about it. Look how stressed out you are.” He put his hands on her shoulders. Warm, big hands. The sun was higher in the sky now, shining gloriously upon both of them but especially him, making his hair shine and appear golden. It was easy for her to forget that he was 8 years older than her, when his radiance made him look so much more youthful.

“But I...I’ll feel really bad…” she uttered. “It’s expensive to upgrade to business at this stage. I told my company I’ll be fine with economy.”

“Look, if you feel bad because of the price, if you wanna repay me, then do yourself a favor. Just lie back and get the rest you need. Get comfy. Alright?”

She looked into his eyes and her heart melted. “You’re so kind to me,” she whispered.

He grinned. “Well, you’re basically like a little sister to me. Just like you are to Baekhyun. So just don’t worry about it, okay? I just want you to relax and rest up.”

“Thanks, ahjussi.” She finally smiled, and he patted her on the head affectionately.

The agent cleared her throat and spoke. “So I’ve upgraded you from economy to business on the flight from Seoul to Macau. Your new seat number will be 18A, and I’ll put a priority tag on your luggage. Your gate number is 25 and the gate opens at 7:30 AM, but please pay attention to the screens and announcements as well, just in case there are any delays or changes. This is your boarding pass; please keep it well along with your passport. This one is the pass to the VIP lounge, so just take the escalator right next to your gate, go up, and you’ll find the lounge. Have a pleasant journey!”


	8. The Other Sister

Zitao was not experiencing a hangover this morning, but still felt like shit since the moment he woke up. He wished he could go back to sleep but the more he stayed in bed, the less he wanted to sleep. His mind was already way too active and it made him irritable. So he got out of bed and went about his daily routine, shoving brunch into his mouth even though it was tasteless to him because of his crappy mood.

His only salvation was when his phone rang and the caller was his elder stepsister, Victoria.

“Zitao! Good news! I happen to be free this afternoon. Do you wanna come meet me and let's hang out?” She asked jovially.

“Hey! Yeah of course I'm not gonna miss out on this chance! You're always so busy,” he answered, his tone conveying all of his excitement. “I just know that you'd miss spending time with me. Since you took the initiative to ask for my company, I'm gonna oblige.”

“Wonderful! Let's meet at my favorite café in...half an hour’s time?”

“Sounds great to me.”

“Awesome! See you there.”

* * *

“Okay, I've told you everything about my PhD, about work, about my social life, about my love life…Zitao, it's your turn to share,” said Victoria, drinking from her cup. “And by that I mean it's time to stop avoiding the topic we should be talking about. There's a lot on your mind and it would probably make you feel a lot better if you talk to someone about it. I happen to be free and I've been told I'm a good listener, plus I'm your sister so, come on, what's bothering you?”

Finally giving in, Zitao sighed and told her all about his recent clashes with Dabin, about Jinsong, and even about Yiyang, even though the last one was not what was giving him a headache lately.

“I see…” she replied slowly. “Well, I appreciate that you're letting me understand what's going on and why you're so upset. By the way, you haven't touched your coffee — is it not good? I added some cinnamon for you; my mom said it should help you sleep better. Trust me. I trust her.”

“Hmm…” he grabbed the cup and drank half of its contents in one big gulp. “It doesn't matter what I eat or drink today. It's all the same. Tasteless. Guess that's what happens when I'm really going through it.”

“Not even your favorite coffee can cheer you up?” She raised her eyebrows at him more in disbelief than critically. “I mean, this isn't just any coffee. This is raspberry latte. Raspberry latte to you is like abalone to me.”

Zitao smiled wryly. “You know why I like it so much? It's because Dabin likes it. That's why it's been my favorite drink for the past seven years. I think even more than that. My tastes have changed ever since I met her, ever since I fell for her. Before that, that's not how I liked my coffee.”

“Oh, now I remember. I know what you're talking about! You used to like it cold and black, you said it was just like your soul, am I right?” She giggled at the memory.

“You are my sister through and through,” he replied, finally with some mirth in his tone.

“Of course I know you well,” she grinned. “Anyway, you wanna know what I think about all your troubles?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Well, I haven't heard Dabin’s side of the story, but right now it looks to me like you should really re-evaluate some of your decisions.”

“Like?”

“Like what you do when you're with your friends. And about your bad habits — the extent to which you engage in them, and _when_ you do so,” she explained. “I know you tend to say stuff you don't mean when you're angry, but it can still be hurtful. Although, both you and Dabin are probably too absorbed in your own emotions that you haven't tried to really understand each other’s feelings and thoughts.”

“I guess I do…” he uttered reluctantly. Maybe Jinsong did have a much stronger influence on him than he would like to admit.

“So maybe you can take some time to think about it. Especially these few days, since she's out of town, and you get some time to yourself to clear your head. Then maybe you'll end up seeing things from a different perspective,” she suggested.

“Yeah, perhaps I'll try that,” he agreed.

“And _not_ over a cigarette.”

“Right.”

“And in the meantime, would you like me to talk to Dabin about it?” She offered.

“I...I don't know. My mind is a mess. I want to deal with it myself but at this point I don't know how to approach her anymore without it turning into a huge fight. You know I hate fighting with her. Maybe when she comes back from Taipei — ah, no, Macau...at least then we'll have had a cool-off period and hopefully we won't be at each other’s throats all the time.”

“Alright. I'll let you sort that out then. Just let me know if you want me to text her or something. I've known her for so long it feels like I'm her big sister as well,” she said warmly. “But what about Jinsong? What do you think about your friendship with him and his influence on you?”

“Well, Dabin has made it very clear that she doesn’t appreciate it. At all. Personally, I...look, since I know you’re not going to lash out at me, I’m going to be honest with you and above that, I’m gonna be honest with myself. I don’t really like how much influence he has over me either. I don’t know how to put my feelings into words — I feel like whenever I’m hanging out with him, I’m just conforming to his preferences and his habits a lot? Like I’m not so much my own person when I’m with him?”

“So your wishes aren’t heard? Your friends aren’t really hearing you out, and neither is Dabin?”

“Yeah, I suppose it’s kind of like that, whether I like to admit it or not. We’re always following his suit and letting him decide stuff, like when we meet up, where we go, what we do, who we’re with, and all that. Frankly speaking, he calls the shots basically all the time. I’m not sure if this is because he’s the eldest in our gang or because we really trust him that much or whatever. It’s not like we’ve elected him to be our leader and sovereign but somehow it’s just, you know, natural for us to agree and go with whatever he says. Don’t ask me how we ended up this way because I have no clue — we’ve been like this for years. And most times I can convince myself that this is what the gang also wants to do, so it can’t hurt to be democratic, or I can talk myself into believing that it’ll be fun. I can’t deny that there is some fun in it, but it’s also a very excessive lifestyle and, well, that ain’t it. But I can’t find an effective way to tell him that. I’ve actually never seen anybody really disagree with him, when I come to think of it. He can do whatever he wants with his life, but if I have to do the same then there’s usually a price to pay, and more often than not it means getting on my girlfriend’s nerves.”

“Hmm, so it seems like there’s something problematic about the way you and Jinsong and your other friends interact and the dynamics within this group of friends. I kind of agree with Dabin on this — it isn’t healthy for you guys if one person is making all the decisions. Just as your conformity on the surface doesn’t mean you genuinely subscribe to his beliefs, it’s possible that some of your other friends also share your sentiments about Jinsong’s ‘leadership’ or power within the group. Have you ever thought about talking to them about these concerns?”

“Well, not really...I feel like they’re too loyal to Jinsong for me to feel comfortable with confiding in them about this,” he answered, scratching the nape of his neck. “Like they'd just take his side over mine, like they always do. And I'm fed up with people doing just that. You're the only one who wouldn't side with them. I can really only count on family, huh.”

“Then, if you can’t really trust them, are you sure they’re really your friends? Are they even _his_ friends or just his sidekicks?” She asked. “Zitao, I don’t really intend to sound that critical, but I do want you to rethink some of your beliefs. Otherwise, you’re just going to be in this quandary forever and it’s going to cost you your relationship with Dabin. And I don’t think you’re anywhere near that point where you would be willing to separate from her just so you can remain attached to a group of friends that you can’t even be completely at ease with.”

“I understand,” he said solemnly, almost finishing his coffee at this point. “I might as well directly tell Jinsong how I feel and be firm with him. At least, ideally that’s what I should do. I just need to figure out how to get there.”

“Yeah, agreed. And if he ever gives you a hard time, then _I_ will talk to him. If anyone messes with my brother, they mess with me. And that is not wise.”

He chortled. “You haven’t forgotten that he has a crush on you but also finds you intimidating!”

She rolled her eyes but chuckled too. “That’s just because I manage to come up with witty comebacks when he shamelessly flirts with me, but if he thinks for one moment that that’s going to get him anywhere, he’s wrong. I see right through that boy. He just wants what he can’t get. Loves the chase more than he loves the prize. He has his fiancée wrapped around his little finger, so he doesn’t cherish her. On the contrary, whatever stays out of his reach will forever be desirable to him.”

“You’re the wisest,” he said happily. “Thanks so much for the advice. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“No worries at all,” she smiled. “You know I’ll always have your back.”

* * *

Back at home, Zitao figured he ought to spend his time wisely and be productive rather than sulk and ponder upon all his problems. It might be a good idea to clean the house — perhaps Dabin would be pleased to see that. He still had some time before dinner, so why not? Maybe organizing the place will help him organize his thoughts as well.

Once he stepped inside the utility room, his phone rang, indicating an incoming call from Jinsong.

“Hyung?” Zitao said once he picked up, sounding neither enthusiastic nor reluctant.

“Hey, kid,” said Jinsong, who seemed to always be in the best mood. “Whatcha doing?”

“Uh...just having coffee with Victoria,” Zitao uttered, hoping Jinsong was not going to tempt him to go out to do reckless things again.

“Zitao, I can tell when you’re lying.” The older man barked a laugh.

“W-what?” Zitao panicked, even suspecting for a moment that there were hidden cameras in every room.

“You wouldn’t believe my luck — I ran into your sister just now. Gorgeous as ever and shining brighter than the sun. Ugh, step on me, queen,” Jinsong replied fondly.

Zitao winced. “Let me guess. You asked her out. Again. And she said no. Again.”

“Well of course I did! I was supposed to be with the gang just now, you know, buying food and drinks and stuff. But I left the task to them because obviously the girl of my dreams is more important,” Jinsong chuckled. “Unfortunately, she said she’s busy, so yeah, guess she’s not gonna go out on a date with me. Sad. Wish I’d get the chance to hear her call me ‘oppa’.”

“ _I’ll_ call you oppa,” Zitao joked.

“Spare me!” Jinsong guffawed. “Anyway, yeah, that’s how I know you’re not with her right now. You’re home, right?”

“I...yeah…” Zitao answered. He was hesitant at first, but it would be embarrassing if he tried (and failed) to lie again.

“Perfect! Well, open up, we’re at your door now,” Jinsong revealed.

Zitao almost choked. “What?!”

“Chop-chop! We’re holding lots of heavy stuff,” Jinsong ushered, pressing the doorbell several times for emphasis. “Hurry up and open the door for us!”


	9. Party Till The Sunup

“What are you guys doing here?” Zitao asked blankly, staring at Jinsong and the rest of his friends who came bearing numerous bags of unhealthy snacks, each of them also holding a six-pack of beer. Jinsong in particular even brought champagne.

“Oh, we _were_ gonna invite you to come clubbing with us, but it seems like you’re not in the mood lately, so we decided to be considerate and bring the party to you instead of bringing you to the party,” Jinsong explained proudly. “So, you gonna let us in or nah? The pizza delivery will arrive in an hour’s time. We got the food supply covered.”

Zitao eyed each of them from head to toe. The snacks did look delicious, and even if he _could_ lie to Jinsong about his whereabouts, the way his mouth watered at the food his friends brought made it impossible for him to not invite them in. Besides, what else could he have done? Just let them all stand outside his door and eat all the food without him? Not gonna happen.

Zitao was about to say, “make yourselves feel at home!” But Jinsong had already acted it out. In fact, he behaved as if it was _his_ home, plopping down onto the sofa and tucking a cushion behind his back for his best comfort. Their other friends took things to the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge and all the cupboards.

“Well, that was quite a surprise,” said Zitao but not in discontent, as he sat down next to Jinsong.

“Yep. Now you don’t have to worry about feeling lonely. We know your girlfriend’s outta town, so what are you gonna do on your own over this long weekend? Watch Game of Thrones and jerk off?” Jinsong barked a laugh at his own joke.

“I was actually thinking more like cleaning the house and just listening to some music,” Zitao shrugged.

“Pfft. We can clean up together after the party,” said Jinsong casually, making empty promises as easily as giving candy away on Halloween. “Don't be lame; you're gonna bore yourself to death someday and we can’t have that now, can we? If you won’t come have fun with us, at least let us come have fun with you!”

“Fine, fine,” Zitao eventually smiled as well. “Let’s play some video games to begin with?”

* * *

Several hours later, the entire place smelled like cigarettes and alcohol, the stench that Dabin hated the most, but Zitao hardly even felt guilty about it knowing she was not going to be here to complain about it. He was not thinking straight thanks to all the champagne and beer he had downed, but he sure was having a blast. Jinsong promised a party and a party he delivered.

“That’s not even all I got,” Jinsong bragged, bringing Zitao to the door as the younger wondered what else the elder had up his sleeve. Carefully they avoided the pool of barbecue sauce and ketchup that someone had spilled all over the carpet. The fact that Zitao did not think it was a big deal was enough of a sign of how far he was straying from sobriety.

“Fellas! Y’all ready for some _real_ fun?” He yelled at the top of his lungs to be heard over the blasting music. When they all shouted and chanted their yeses, Jinsong checked the time and yanked the door open, to reveal almost a dozen ladies. Beneath all that heavy makeup it was difficult to tell if they were really legal. All of them were dressed provocatively, strutting into the house with confidence and charm and looking as if it was an easy job to walk in those heels.

When Jinsong introduced his friends and the ladies to one another, Zitao could barely hear him and did not bother trying to remember their names. What he did catch, though, was that they seemed to be aspiring actresses and small-time models hoping to make some cash as well as mingle with young men who had too much money and time to spend. Zitao did not find it in him to protest; he was too drunk to, and enjoying himself far too much to feel any remorse.

The party went on and a couple of hours later, someone was already throwing up in the toilet, but not Zitao. He was still wasted, but having the time of his life. He found Jinsong drinking directly from a champagne bottle, his other hand holding his phone up to take blurry selfies with everyone and recording the dares and pranks they did.

“Ooh, careful not to send these to your fiancée,” said Zitao playfully, punching Jinsong on the shoulder. Jinsong burst out laughing and honestly could not care less. Drunkenly, he pulled one of the ladies into his lap and they started making out.

It was almost sunup when people gradually left Zitao’s place, now messier than ever. Whether they went in pairs or in groups for their — ahem — interactions to take place somewhere more private, the owner himself had no idea as he too had fallen asleep on one of the armchairs. But a loud, distinctly feminine yelp was enough to wake him from his slumber. Alarmed, he bolted to his feet and looked around for the source of the startling sound.

“Ow!” One of the girls hissed, lying on the floor. Zitao rushed to her side and helped her up, figuring she must have tripped over an empty beer bottle just now.

“Are you hurt?” He blurted as she rubbed her wrists. Once he opened his mouth he realized he ought to brush his teeth _immediately_.

“Yeah, no worries, I’m fine. It happens a lot; I’m always so clumsy,” she replied and smiled, crouching to pick up the bottle as well as some plastic utensils a few steps away, throwing them all into a big garbage bag.

Having found his bearings, Zitao checked the time and was no longer baffled about why she and Jinsong were the only ones left. Speaking of Jinsong, he was still sleeping on the floor and snoring like a pig. However, what Zitao had yet to figure out was why this girl was staying behind to help him clean up the place. She and the other women were surely paid to attend this party, but it was unlikely that they would receive any payment for tidying up. He could fully understand why they would not feel the need to stay behind for an additional moment, as it would only take up time that they could have been spending on earning more cash, or even just sleeping. Certainly everybody was exhausted but here she was, gathering the trash and putting everything back in place. The place was in chaos, which was what surprised Zitao the least.

“Hey, thanks for helping me out,” said Zitao, reemerging from the bathroom after washing up. “Do I pay you—”

“Don’t worry about it. Putting things in order helps me sober up anyways. I’d just be doing both of us a favor,” she replied casually. “I will, however, leave the biggest mess to you,” she added lightheartedly, pointing at Jinsong’s sleeping form.

“Fair enough,” Zitao chuckled. “By the way, have you seen my phone?”

“Is it this one?” She asked, handing a device to him. “Found it inside the microwave. Don’t ask why.”

He arched an eyebrow. “I won’t ask why, but...fortunately or unfortunately, this is not my phone. Maybe I should check, I don’t know, the freezer or something.”

“Oh, I checked. It ain’t there,” she said, then fished out her phone from her pocket. “I’ll just call you.”

“If you wanted my number you could have just asked,” he joked, and dialed his number from her phone.

“Sure, but it's more fun to play hide-and-seek,” she grinned. “Oh! It's ringing. Sounds like it's coming from...over there?” She pointed at the sofa, and followed suit as soon as Zitao approached in that direction.

“Don't hang up just yet,” he replied, needing to dig the ringing device out from the gap between two cushion seats. “There we go,” he said, beaming in satisfaction.

Ending the call, she replied, “neither microwaved nor refrigerated. I think you're in luck.”

“Aha! Now that I have your number, you gonna give me your name or nah?” He winked, shaking his phone gently.

She giggled. “You can call me Xiening.”

“I'm Zitao,” he replied. “Do you want some breakfast? I'll go check what's left in the kitchen.”

“Oh, no, it's fine. I'm just gonna go home anyway. Nice meeting you.”

“You too. How ‘bout I walk you to the taxi stand?” He offered.

“Sure.” She grabbed her purse and fixed her hair. “Let's go.”

* * *

Once Zitao had seen to it that Xiening was safely on her way, he returned to his place and patted his growling stomach. Idly checking the messages on his phone, he realized he had sent a bunch of texts but had no recollection of doing so. Was he _that_ drunk last night?

He scrolled for a bit but stopped and frowned when he came across the chat with Dabin. He thought they were supposed to be ignoring each other so the last time they texted should have been before the weekend. Warily he opened the chat and looked at what he could possibly have sent to her. And he was shocked. He basically spammed her with pictures and videos of the party last night, of himself and his friends making derp faces, singing and laughing loudly, smoking, drunk as fuck, and the ladies around them posing sexily. The worst part of it all was that they were being too noisy and the police actually showed up to get them to quiet down. The neighbors could not stand it and reported them. All of it was caught on tape — and cc’d to Dabin. 

“Fuck, how did this happen…” he cursed under his breath and put his phone down on his lap, facepalming in worry.

“BOO!”

Zitao exclaimed in fright and turned around to smack Jinsong over the head with a cushion. “Ya! You think this is funny?!” He bellowed at Jinsong, who was still giggling at first until he realized that Zitao was truly angry.

“Dude, why the fuck are you like this? What triggered you, man?” Jinsong shot back defensively.

“You're the one holding the phone in all these selfies and photos and vids — filming stupid shit on _my_ phone and then sending it to _my_ girlfriend?! Are you outta your damn mind?!” Zitao exclaimed.

“Bruh, yeah I was the one sending them but I thought I was sending them to _you_! You know you pretty much have the same profile pic as your girlfriend does. Don't ask me how your phone ended up in my hands. We use the same phone model and I must've had too many beers to tell whose phone I was using,” Jinsong shrugged. “If your girlfriend’s mad then just tell her it was my mistake.”

“I _wish_ it were that simple! She's already seen all that shit you sent and I can't even begin to tell you how mad she's gonna be. She absolutely hates it when I'm smoking and drinking and hanging out with you guys — look around you. This place is a goddamn mess and it's gonna take hours for me to clean up. Thanks for trashing the place, man. It was your idea to show up uninvited with the gang, and your idea to invite those random girls, wasn't it? And I can't even prove that nothing happened between me and those girls while my girlfriend was away. How the fuck am I supposed to explain this to her?!”

“What the heck, is she your girlfriend or your owner? Not allowed to do this, not allowed to do that…” Jinsong scoffed, refusing to take any responsibility for the trouble that Zitao was in. “Honestly, that ain't my problem, mate.”

“How can you not give a damn about this?! None of this would've happened if it weren't for _you_ ,” Zitao huffed, glowering at Jinsong. “And will you look at the sofa? You guys have been putting out your cigarette butts on the fucking sofa? What's wrong with you guys…”

“Hey, why the fuck I gotta take the blame for everything? You're acting as if I'm single-handedly responsible for every problem you got. Deal with it yourself, Zitao. I'm outta here,” said Jinsong dismissively, showing himself out.

“Go! Get out! Go away and never come back! Don't ever let me see your face again. God knows I’m better off without you in my life,” Zitao seethed, slamming the door shut then slamming his fists against it. He kicked the wall and grunted in frustration, sliding down against the surface till he was curling up in fetal position. How did his life end up this way?


	10. Tall Order

Zitao spent the day in the worst mood ever whilst properly cleaning the house. He wanted to explain everything to Dabin because it was really a misunderstanding, but then there was no excuse for his behavior and choices that he knew she would not be proud of, let alone all the destruction and chaos. Besides, he was already getting tired just thinking about needing to communicate with her, feeling helpless and anticipating failure again.

By comparison, going to work seemed like a delight. Even doing overtime work was just a way for him to avoid dealing with what he really needed to process and face. Of course this was not healthy either, which only further consolidated Dabin’s points about his unhealthy tendencies.

And so, he ended up being so absorbed in thinking about his deteriorating relationship with Dabin rather than about Dabin herself. It was only when he got home after work the next day, when he saw Dabin in the flesh, that he recalled it was indeed time she got back from Macau.

“Hey, you're home,” he said. It felt as if he had not seen her in forever. Inwardly he was praying that this conversation would not turn into another argument. He noticed the suitcases and duffel bags and boxes around her, but was not sure if she was unpacking after the flight or packing her belongings into the bags and boxes.

“Yeah,” she replied curtly, loud and clear even though she did not even want to look at him. “But for the last time.”

“What...what do you mean?” He asked, dreading the worst.

“Well,” she sighed. “This isn't a place I can call home anymore. Look at all the damage.”

He shivered, still clinging to the slim hope that what he feared was not really happening. He gulped and tried to change the topic, tensing up as he made an attempt to avert this overdue crisis.

“How was your trip?” He blurted. “I should've gone to the airport to pick you up.”

“Never mind,” she said dismissively. Crouching, she continued to place her items where she wanted them to go. “You were supposed to be working. And there are lots of other things you could have done for me but you didn't feel the need to do it, so now it doesn't matter anymore.” She rose to her feet and turned around to look him in the eye, a look of utter disappointment on her face. “I'm out. We're done.”

“Whoa.” He was taken aback and had to stop her right there. “Am I understanding this correctly? Are you serious?”

“I'm dead serious, Zitao. You heard me,” she reiterated. She would have snapped at him but she was honestly so done.

“Yeah, but do you hear yourself right now?” He questioned, feeling his blood boil and a mix of emotions: surprise, helplessness, frustration, and more. “Dabin, we’ve been together for _seven_ years. Are you really just going to walk away from it all? Just like that? How can you so easily throw it away?”

“Oh, believe me,” she huffed, putting her hands on her hips. “It isn't half as easy as you throwing away your own health for people who aren't worth it. You've made your choice, Zitao, and I've made mine.”

“No! It isn't what you think it is. It's a misunderstanding. I hadn't meant to send those videos and photos to you,” he clarified, proceeding to explain what Jinsong had drunkenly done on what he thought was his phone the other night.

“Yeah, I know,” she replied dryly. “I pretty much guessed it. But it hardly makes a difference to me, because at the end of the day none of this would've happened if you had just listened to me and stayed away from people who really don't have your best interests in mind.”

“Dabin, please—”

She did not let him interrupt. “I'm done with giving you chances that you’re longer worthy of. I'm breaking up with you not because of what you think you can dismiss as a misunderstanding, but because I have a very good understanding of what your priorities are. If you're going to live your life like that, that's on you. I'm not obligated to put up with it any longer, especially since I've already made it quite clear, for more times than I can count, that I really don't like it. It's gotten to the point where I can't stand it anymore and I'm not going to continue to suffer. Why should I.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I can't believe this is really happening. That you would do this to me.”

“That's funny, because I can say the same thing to you. The difference is I've done all that I can to fix what's broken, to save this relationship. But even so, it's in tatters and I'm really so done with repeatedly trying to mend something that you'll destroy again and again. You really should think about your responsibility in all of this.”

Finished with packing, she zipped up and closed her bags and suitcases. This prompted him to ask urgently, “where are you going?”

“To my sister’s place,” she answered flatly. “I've talked to her and Baekhyun, and they're cool with letting me stay with them for a while.”

“So that's it for us? You're not going to reconsider this?” He pleaded shakily. “I don't want to lose you.”

“I've considered and reconsidered this enough times to know I'm doing the right thing. So don't contact me unless you've really quit smoking. Sometimes I think if I were one of your bad habits you'd try harder to keep me, but you've lost me and you've only got yourself to blame.”

He remained speechless for a moment, whereas she checked her phone and received a text from her sister that said her car was just a couple minutes away from Zitao’s place.

“I should go,” she announced, with an air of finality. Taking everything with her, she stopped in her tracks at his door and said to him, “please, even though I won't be with you, take care of yourself. You might not deserve me but you do deserve to be healthy.”

Zitao did not want to let go of her, but knew not what to say to make her stay. Not being able to change her mind or change his behavior made him feel physically weak as well. He could only stand there in the middle of the room as he watched her go.

* * *

“Are you sure about this?” Solbin asked her sister who was riding shotgun. They had loaded all of Dabin’s bags into the trunk, and Solbin was ready to drive.

“Yes.” Dabin was resolute, but also numb and monotonous.

“Alright then,” said Solbin, buckling up. “Let's go buy takeout for dinner and then we’ll go back to my place.”

Dabin nodded glumly, looking out the window without focus. “Where's Baekhyun?” She asked randomly.

“Still meeting with some potential investors,” Solbin answered. “He will be back for dinner though.”

“Oh…” Dabin frowned and looked nervous.

“I know what you're worried about,” replied Solbin. “You're thinking about how Zitao’s father might react to you breaking up with his son, aren't you?”

Dabin nodded again. “Mr Huang is an important shareholder; that much I know. He also knows about me being Baekhyun’s sister-in-law…”

“I don't think he will withdraw his investments from the company just because of that,” Solbin said in reassurance. “He gave the company the start-up capital they needed because he saw the potential for growth, because he liked the producers’ spirit and passion for what they do,” she explained. “As long as he still sees these in them, and the healthy profit figures, I'm confident that there's a good chance that he's going to continue to fund the company’s operations and expansion.”

“I hope you're right. I would never want others to be unfavorably affected as a result of a decision _I_ made, regarding _my_ relationship, for _my_ sake. I don't even want to hurt Zitao or let go of him, but I have to get out. I just can't do this anymore. It's not healthy for me either,” replied Dabin, trembling.

Solbin grabbed a box of tissues and placed it on her sister’s lap before the younger could break into tears. “It's okay. It's really okay in your circumstances to put yourself first and do what's best for your own health.”

“Thanks for letting me move in with you and Baekhyun for a bit,” Dabin croaked brokenly, sobbing into a tissue. “I hate to get in the way or impose on you guys; I really don't know who else I can count on.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Solbin sighed, gently patting her sister on the forearm. “Of course you can come to me. I'm your sister; we'll always have each other’s backs. If our positions were reversed, I'm sure you would support me the same way as well.”

“I don't even want our parents to know how my relationship with Zitao has turned out,” Dabin added. Fresh tears were pouring out before she could dry those rolling down her face. “They'll have so many questions and I don't have all the answers.”

“I understand that too. I was in your shoes too, you know. At least to the extent where I ended a relationship that I really thought was going to last. And our parents do have a tendency to respond in a way that doesn't really make us feel better,” Solbin replied. “I'll keep your secret for as long as you need me to.”

“Thank you,” Dabin sniffled. “I feel safe only with my big sister.”

“Even if she makes questionable decisions sometimes?” Solbin teased, hoping to bring a smile to her sister’s face, and it worked. It had been a running gag for years between the two of them, and Solbin was glad that there was still something that could cheer Dabin up. It meant that Dabin was not inconsolable.

“You mean most times,” said Dabin, producing a small giggle as she dabbed at her cheeks. “And by the way, please, just let me know if there's anything you and Baekhyun want me to do for you guys in return. I'm not gonna just eat your food and use your wifi; I'm definitely gonna try to contribute too and help out in this household. Like with the chores, at least.”

“Well, since you're offering,” Solbin winked. “How about grocery runs?”

“Sure,” Dabin agreed right away. “I’d be happy to do that.”

* * *

By the end of the week, Dabin had settled in nicely in the guest room, under the care of her beloved sister and brother-in-law. Over the weekend, the two sisters had the time to go shopping, which brought some much needed healing. Baekhyun on the other hand had other things to work on.

Zitao had been stressing over how to spend the weekend since he did not have to go to work, had become single and lonely, and was not willing to contact the group of so-called friends he usually hung out with. He could only clean the house so many times before slipping into an existential crisis. Spending time with his family would be an option too, if they had not already made their own plans.

To his surprise, he received a text from Baekhyun, out of the blue. They were not _very_ close, but definitely had always been on good terms. Zitao was not sure how to respond. It was awkward, because after all this was the brother-in-law of his now ex-girlfriend, who knew about the breakup and most likely the disagreements leading up to it. Zitao would not be surprised if Baekhyun took Dabin’s side over his. But Baekhyun was requesting to meet up, so Zitao deduced that it was unlikely that Baekhyun would want to arrange a meeting just to reprimand him. Baekhyun was so mysterious about it though, only telling Zitao that they should talk in person if he wanted to fix his mistakes and stand a chance at proving to Dabin that he could do better. That was enough for Zitao to agree to meet with Baekhyun. Besides, he had nothing better to do.

“Hey, thanks for reaching out to me,” said Zitao earnestly as he sat down opposite to Baekhyun at the table that Baekhyun had booked for lunch. “Does...does Dabin know that we’re meeting up? Does your wife know?”

“Not for now,” Baekhyun answered. “I don’t plan on hiding it from them though. I’m really not the type to keep secrets from those closest to me unless there’s a very good reason to do so. Besides, I think they will be pleased to know what I plan to do with you, as long as you cooperate well. Hear me out?”

“Sure, sure. What can I do for you?” Zitao asked.

“Oh, it’s more like what _I_ can do for _you_ ,” replied Baekhyun. “I’m no therapist, but I’ve played quite an active role in helping people around me quit smoking as well as other bad habits. If you want, I can try to help you too.”

Zitao was silent for a moment. Not at all was he dismissive about Baekhyun’s offer, but he could not help but feel disheartened when he looked back on his previous attempts to curb the habit. “You think there’s still hope for me?”

“I do,” said Baekhyun. “But above that, it’s more important that _you_ believe there’s hope for you.”

“I’m not sure? Although it’s not like I’m giving up before even trying. Frankly I’m not confident, because at first, I was also pretty damn confident that I could stick to just being a social smoker if and when the need arises, that it wouldn’t turn into a habit or an addiction. But it did, and I see how wrong I was.”

“I’m aware you and Dabin have tried hard and you’ve gathered _some_ progress. You’re not hopeless. There are many ways to quit smoking and I like to believe there’s certainly at least one way that will work for you. We just need to try them out and find out which ones are effective for you,” Baekhyun explained. “So, you in?”


	11. Ahjussi

"Dabin-ah," said Solbin urgently, impatiently knocking on the door of the guest room until Dabin bolted to open it. "Do you have plans for dinner tonight?"

Dabin smirked. "Do you want to cook for me?"

"Even better," Solbin winked, brandishing a coupon. "If you're gonna head out for dinner tonight, go to this restaurant and redeem the discount. It's expiring today and I just forgot about it."

Dabin looked the coupon over and skimmed through the terms and conditions printed in the tiniest font. "You mean it got lost in the stack of coupons you've been pathologically collecting."

Solbin shrugged. "I started doing it since I was a poor university student and it became a habit. Of course, I would use it myself but Baekhyun and I have got to have dinner with his family tonight, so I can't."

"Alrighty. I'll take it off your hands then," Dabin grinned. As Solbin proceeded to choose her clothes and accessories for dinner with her in-laws, Dabin plopped down onto the bed, taking her phone with her. An idea popped into her mind, making her smile sweetly as she made a call to Chanyeol.

"Hey, ahjussi," she giggled. "What are you doing tonight?"

* * *

As soon as Dabin and Chanyeol were seated at the restaurant, they realized that they were surrounded by couples on dates. It was a restaurant that they had not visited before, and they did not know that it was a hotspot for couples. Most of the items on the menu were set dinners for two, and the candlelight set a romantic atmosphere.

"Are you sure you won't be uncomfortable?" Chanyeol asked softly.

"Nah, it's fine. Good food is good food regardless of relationship status," Dabin answered lightheartedly, licking her lips at what the menu had to offer.

"Can't disagree with that," Chanyeol chuckled.

"Besides, I've only cried like five times after the breakup, so I'm actually holding up quite well," Dabin added wryly. "Ya know, I'm hungrier than I thought I was. Shall we order?"

* * *

After the meal, Dabin asked for the bill and took out her wallet from her bag. “Dinner’s on me,” she said to Chanyeol, assertively but with a grateful smile on her face. “I’ve been wanting to repay you somehow for the ride to the airport and the upgrade.”

“You don’t have to though,” he grinned. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It means a lot to me,” she said earnestly. “I hadn’t been sleeping well but I slept like a baby throughout the flight thanks to the comfortable seat.”

“Well then I’m glad,” he said warmly. “Are you also adjusting well to living with Baekhyun and your sister?”

“Yeah. At least it doesn’t smell like shit there,” she answered. “I don’t know how else to thank them for letting me stay with them, so I’m gonna do a grocery run for them tomorrow.”

“Ah, but won’t you be exhausted after work?” He asked. “Why not do it tonight? The queues at the cashier tend to be a lot shorter after, like, 8pm. There’s a supermarket right next to the parking lot too, so you don’t have to worry about carrying heavy stuff.”

“Actually, you’re right about that,” she replied. “Good idea. Let’s do it.”

* * *

"So we already have the bottled water, the sanitary products, the toothpaste..." said Dabin, glancing between her phone screen and the cart to checking items off her shopping list. "We still need eggs and some veggies because my sister’s gonna cook for me at some point. Over there.”

“You guys eat quite a lot of whole foods, eh?” Chanyeol remarked.

“Oh yeah, definitely! Miss me with the unhealthy additives and modifiers,” Dabin replied with a passion as she carefully placed the eggs into the cart. “I totally support buying unprocessed foods — there’s less energy consumption and harmful emissions caused by lengthy food manufacturing processes. Save the planet!” She said all of that in one breath without realizing how boring that must sound to anybody else.

“We think alike,” Chanyeol giggled at how cute yet firm she was on this. “I tend to pay attention to the packaging as well. You know those with minimal packaging? That’s usually what I go for.”

“Same,” she said with emphasis. “That, or biodegradable packaging. Or both.”

“Right. I’ll never understand why some supermarkets put _individual oranges_ into plastic bags that are clearly big enough for at least three or four oranges and yet they just put one.”

“I know what you mean! I’ve seen that too and that’s just so wasteful,” she complained. “I try to recycle everything, but of course it’s even better to not use so much plastic to start with.”

They shared smiles as they made their way to the next column, appreciating that they got to bond over environmentalism even though it was unexpected.

“Oh, there it is! The strawberry shampoo that Baekhyun uses!" She pointed at the item in question which was placed on the top shelf. Standing on her tippy toes, she outstretched her arms in an attempt to reach it but just could not. On the other hand, Chanyeol, being the giant that he was, easily picked it up and placed it into the cart. She watched as he did so, looking up at him with heart-eyes. There was something very charming about how effortless it was for him to do something so challenging for her, considering their height difference.

"I don't know how Baekhyun reaches for it himself but here you go," Chanyeol joked, but then he observed that Dabin did not so much as react with mirth to his humor. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She shook her head quickly, also wanting to shake off the twinge of sadness she was momentarily affected by. "Nothing. It's just...I suddenly recall how Zitao used to grab things from the top shelf for me and I just...never mind. Moving on. Next one on the list...over there. We need unsweetened soybean milk as well as orange juice with pulp."

Seeing as she was not eager to carry on talking about her ex, Chanyeol did not say more on that topic. He spoke again only when he found what she needed, not wanting to bring up memories she did not want to have to deal with. Wordlessly, she nodded at what he was showing her, and they placed the items into the cart.

"Hey," he nudged her gently, wondering if he could cheer her up. He pointed at a series of booths and suggested, "let's try some of these food samples, shall we?"

As they approached, she took notice of how good the food smelled, and it became irresistible to her. "Wow, I didn't even know I needed it," she said to him, breaking into a smile. "Let's try them all!"

Pleased to see that he was able to lift her mood with food, together they tried the marinated grilled beef, fried chicken, pork belly, glutinous rice cakes, as well as sodas.

"Oh, man, that tasted awesome," she commented, grinning from ear to ear. "Let's see what else we need to buy. Ah, right, the cornflakes. Over there."

Once they were situated between two columns of snacks, she was grabbing potato chips and chocolates and candies left, right, and center. He chuckled and asked teasingly, "are you sure those are on the list as well?"

"Well, now they are," she smirked at him. "And that's not even all."

"I have a feeling you have a wicked idea," he replied cheerily.

"The wickedest: ice cream!" She announced, happily skipping to the freezer aisle. "Ooh! They have the sesame flavor!! And the seasonal specials!! Oh my gosh, I thought they only sold it in Japan but they have it here too!"

He guffawed at her infectious enthusiasm. "You can't finish the whole pint on your own though!"

"Yes I can!" She insisted. "Watch me!"

"Okay, okay. I believe you. But first, do we have everything we need?” He asked, gesturing for her to double check her list.

“Yep,” she answered afterward. “The checkout counters are that way,” she pointed and motioned for him to follow her.

“I still don’t think you can finish the entire pint by yourself,” he said after she paid for all that she bought. He was helping her carry the heavier bags as they made their way to his car in the parking lot.

“Then you are wrong, ahjussi,” she replied singsong. “Never underestimate a woman’s appetite for sweet stuff. Especially when she’s emotionally fragile,” she pointed out as they got into the car.

“In that case, I will unreservedly allow consumption of ice cream and all the snacks you bought just now,” he smiled. “But only because I want you to cheer up.”

“Aren’t you the sweetest…” she said, poking his arm playfully.

“Come on, let’s get you home before your ice cream melts.”

* * *

By the time they arrived, Dabin was already licking her lips in anticipation, ready to devour the entire pint of ice cream on her own and prove Chanyeol wrong. However, the moment his car pulled to a stop in front of the house, there was a funny feeling clawing at her chest. She could not find the words to describe it, and she did not think she had felt this before. But it was quite clear to her that she did not want to say goodnight to him just yet. So before he could take a deep breath and say to her something along the lines of ‘thanks for dinner; I really enjoyed this evening with you’, she spoke first.

“You know...maybe...there is a possibility that I might not be able to finish it all by myself after all...just saying…” she started slowly and slightly hesitantly, silently hoping he would perhaps be at least a tiny little bit reluctant to just drop her off and leave as well.

“So...you need some help?” He offered, winking at her. They could not help but smirk at each other as he added, “I’m not the type to turn down free ice cream.”

“I also hope you’re not the type to turn down eating ice cream while watching a movie with me...probably a comedy or something,” she suggested.

“Not at all,” he replied. “Are you sure Baekhyun and Solbin won’t mind?”

“Eh, they’re not home yet,” she said with a shrug. “And you’re not a random stranger; you’re the owner’s best friend _and_ business partner. Come on in already.”

And so, they put their plan to action, and together they finished the whole pint in no time. They ended up laughing so hard at the comedy film they were watching that they had to lean on each other at some point, sliding down from the couch onto the floor as several cushions already did.

But another hour later, when the film was ending, he found out that she had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

He had no clue what to do with her. He did not want to wake her since he already knew she was not sleeping well these days, but he also could not sit completely still for long. And he _really_ needed the bathroom.

Luckily for him, the front door opened to announce that Solbin and Baekhyun were finally home. The first thing they noticed was Chanyeol sitting there rigidly while the ending credits played. Gently, Solbin woke her sister up.

“Huh?” Dabin croaked, coming to her senses. She was drooling a little bit, having to furtively dab at the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. “Oh, sorry…” she said to Chanyeol, all flustered. “I didn't mean to…”

“It's okay,” he chuckled. “It’s late anyway. I should go. See you next time, yeah?”

“Yeah. Goodnight,” she smiled, blinking sleepily.

“Goodnight,” he replied, fondly patting the top of her head.

Dabin returned to her own room and Solbin accompanied her. The elder sat down on the bed while the younger took off her makeup.

“So...” said Solbin mysteriously. “I wasn’t aware that you and Chanyeol were so close. How did he end up here?”

“Oh, ya know, I invited him to dinner. We used the coupon you gave me,” Dabin answered. “Then we went grocery shopping and then I bought too much ice cream so I shared it with him and we watched a movie together.”

“Is that all?” Solbin pressed on, slightly arching an eyebrow as if she was skeptical about what her sister was reporting.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Dabin yawned. “Why? What else did you think could’ve happened?”

“Oh, nothing,” Solbin said quickly, but Dabin just knew her sister too well.

“What, did you think I was gonna get in bed with someone else barely a week after dumping my boyfriend of seven years?” Dabin giggled. “That’s what you were thinking, wasn’t it?”

Solbin chortled. “You got me there. But it’s not like I’d judge, even if you were to do that! It’s not like I didn’t do that myself when I was younger and dumber.”

“Yes, but that’s far from an unwise decision, wouldn’t you say? If it weren’t for what you did at that time, you might not even end up married to Baekhyun now,” said Dabin. “It’s not like that with me and ahjussi though.”

“‘Ahjussi’?” Solbin snorted. “Dabin, Chanyeol isn’t that old.”

“Isn’t he? He’s 8 years older than me. Any man in his thirties is an ahjussi.”

“By that logic, Baekhyun will also be an ahjussi soon.”

“And you’ll be an ahjumma,” Dabin replied smoothly, getting ready to brush her teeth. “Goodnight, ahjumma. Sleep well.”

Solbin laughed and booped Dabin on the nose. “Goodnight, young lady.”


	12. Emotional Support Sibling

At the interior designers’ office, the employees were having one of the busiest weeks in their careers. Everyone was overworked, and for Zitao, that sure did not help improve his mood. His irregular attempts to quit smoking had made the withdrawal symptoms awfully painful for him to tolerate, making him irritable and unable to work as efficiently as he would have liked to.

“Gege, your Hainan chicken rice lunch set is here,” Yiyang announced cheerfully as she reached Zitao’s desk. She kept a friendly smile on her face, trying to lift spirits in the workplace as everybody was getting quite frustrated with the tight deadlines to meet. As they worked their asses off, tasks like ordering lunch and delivering the lunch boxes to each employee’s respective desk had become Yiyang’s primary duty as the lowest-ranking intern. She did not mind it the least bit — instead, she was happy that she could contribute and help out this way.

“Goddammit, stop bothering me!” Zitao exclaimed in extreme frustration, sending a ruler flying at the nearest wall. Yiyang squeaked, completely taken aback. Luckily she did not drop the lunch box that she was holding. The lunch set came with a bowl of soup so if it were to slip out of her hands then the consequences would have been disastrous. She took a few steps back and stared wide-eyed at her brother.

“Shit. Sorry,” said Zitao instantly when he realized he should not have let his temper go unchecked. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm just so goddamn stressed,” he sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“I wish I could do more to help,” she said softly, tentatively taking a step forward.

“Trust me, you're doing us a huge favor and we’d all be working on empty stomachs without you,” he said, patting his growling stomach as he cleared some space on his desk so she could place his lunch there.

“Not like I'm in the position to give advice, but you're gonna work a lot more efficiently once you've eaten,” she replied. “Food will put you in a better mood.”

He paused for a moment. “Sounds like something Dabin would say.”

“Oh! Your pretty flatmate, right? Haven’t seen her in a while.”

For a moment Zitao was befuddled. Why would Yiyang refer to Dabin like that? He was certain Yiyang knew that he had a girlfriend; he could remember mentioning it to her in some of their previous conversations. But then he supposed he never specified that it was Dabin.

Now that Dabin was brought up, Zitao knew that he was screwed. His head would be filled with thoughts of her and he would not be able to focus on work.

“You know what, why don’t you take a seat and eat with me. I could really use someone to talk to,” he said.

He did not really feel like talking about the breakup; it hurt too much for him to not lose his shit if he were to talk about it. However, what he really wanted to talk about was his mood swings as part of the withdrawal symptoms he was dealing with. Dabin was a habit, Jinsong was a lifestyle, smoking was an addiction. Zitao had to survive without all these in his life, all at once, and it was not easy.

“I’d love to be your listener,” she smiled and sat down next to him, eating quietly. She listened attentively as he told her what was on his mind, avoiding the topic of his love life but disclosing the painful fact that his smoking addiction and his poor choice of friends had become so unbearable for Dabin that she had moved out.

“I’m sorry to hear this has happened,” Yiyang replied as soon as Zitao was done explaining. “I can understand that not having her around must be a great loss to you. I can tell that she was someone you relied on in many ways and now without her, it must be so tough. Are you two still on talking terms though?”

“No,” he shook his head and massaged his eyebrows in an attempt to ease the frown he had been wearing on his face all day. “No, she told me not to talk to her until I’ve quit smoking. That is a huge reason why I’m trying so damn hard to accomplish that these days. But gosh, I’m having a hard time with it. I have someone helping me out,” he added, thinking of Baekhyun. “You can say he’s sort of a friend. We’ve been trying some strategies like developing new hobbies so I spend my time meaningfully without even considering smoking as an option. So we’ve been playing golf and getting into other activities like horse-riding and other sports. It’s fun, it’s engaging, and it distracts me from my intense craving for nicotine, so I suppose so far it’s getting me somewhere.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you know you aren’t alone,” she agreed. “Not to mention you have me. I’ll support you too.”

“I can’t even be a good brother or a good senior to you,” he sighed, feeling helpless on many levels.

“Nonsense. You saved my ass multiple times and the least I can do for you is be the supportive sister and junior that we both know you need,” she insisted.

“I would appreciate that,” he replied, with a faint smile upon his lips. “I’ve read up on the withdrawal symptoms. It could last up to a couple months. Right now, it’s already pretty bad. I’m the most irritable version of myself. I find it so damn difficult to concentrate. When I do manage to concentrate, I can forget for a bit that I’m having a headache, but that doesn’t last long of course. The sweating and the nausea is also hard to ignore. For goodness’ sake, why did I bring this upon myself…”

“I know it’s _very_ disheartening right now, but you can do it!” She said confidently. “You can also feel nauseous or get headaches if you’re not drinking enough water,” she pointed out, then reached for the mug on his desk. “So let’s stay hydrated.”

“That’s a good idea,” he nodded. “By the way, are you sure Junmyeon-sunbaenim will be cool with you being my full-time nanny?”

“Well, he’s not gonna have a problem with it as long as I’m helping you make progress and get things done, and you can also help me learn, right?” She winked.

* * *

On the other hand, Dabin was having a much better time. This weekend’s biggest highlight was the Seoul summer music festival, dubbed the South Korean version of Coachella. Dabin was lucky enough to be close with people who were acquainted with two of the most popular artists performing at the fest: Taeyeon and Seulgi, who were friends with Baekhyun and Solbin respectively since university. In particular, the producer trio formed by Baekhyun alongside Chanyeol and Yifan were close with Seulgi, as they had been helping her advance her career even before she became such a big name. With these connections, they were able to easily get VIP festival passes and really good seats at the concerts.

Among the other performers on the setlist was Krystal, famous not just for her visuals and talents but also for being the newlywed wife of Jung Mijoo, the CEO of Irons Entertainment, making them one of the richest lesbian couples in South Korea. Although this company was not part of the renowned Big 3, Krystal and other idols and actors signed to that label were becoming rising stars, which did help bring much prestige to the agency.

A number of Krystal’s junior labelmates were here to see her perform as well, one of them being Xiening, who was one of the models that Jinsong had hired to party with him and his friends at Zitao’s place not long ago.

Zitao himself was not originally planning on attending the fest. After such a hectic week at work, he was rather looking forward to spending the entire weekend resting because he had already been so sleep-deprived during the week. Work was stressing him out, and insomnia was yet another withdrawal symptom that brought him agony.

However, it was time for a change of plans when Zitao received a phone call from Yiyang.

“Come on! Let’s go to the music festival together,” said Yiyang enthusiastically. “It’s gonna cheer you up and make you feel so much more alive. I feel it in my bones. It’ll be worth it.”

“‘Go to the concert’, she said,” Zitao whined. “‘It’ll be fun’, she said.”

“Gege!” She giggled. “You said you’re gonna try to reorient your life, didn’t you?”

“I did…” he admitted hesitantly.

“And that includes planning something enjoyable to do each day,” she insisted. “And developing new habits that are healthier.”

“But how am I gonna get in?” He asked, scratching the nape of his neck and then ruffling his hair. “I don’t want to buy shit from scalpers at twice or thrice the original price — but it looks like that’s my only option since we’re so last-minute.”

“Is that an excuse I hear?” She teased. “You’re not saying it aloud, but I can sense it.”

He sighed. “It’s just...well, there’s a good chance my ex is gonna be there. So...it’s gonna be awkward,” he explained, even though he could not deny that Yiyang’s energy was contagious, and he wanted to be around her even though work and life put him in the crappiest of moods. He could hear it in her voice, how encouraging she sounded. That was enough to tempt him and make him want to go with her.

“Oh…” she quieted down. “I didn’t know about that. I just wanted to do something to help my big brother feel better, but if you don’t feel like —”

“I’m going,” he cut in decisively. “It’s better than wallowing in my own troubles anyway.” Besides, this festival was a big deal that would attract thousands. What were the chances that he would still run into Dabin there? Especially since Baekhyun did not mention anything about the fest when they met up previously.

She gasped in joy. “You will?”

“Yeah, I will. I also think it would make my little sister very happy,” he said, smiling faintly.

“Awesome! I knew you would make the right decision,” she replied blithely. “And, you don’t have to worry about tickets. I know someone who’s got VIP passes for us. My best friend is under Irons Entertainment. You know, Krystal Jung’s agency? She got a pass for me and said I could bring a plus-one. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before, or I would’ve invited you sooner.”

“That’s nice. So, um, I’ll drive by to pick you up and then we can head to the arena, yeah?” He offered.

“Sounds cool to me,” she said in approval. “See you!”

* * *

Soon enough, Zitao and Yiyang found themselves at the festival. After parking the car, they made their way to the grand entrance.

“My friend said she’s waiting for us in front of the gate that’s marked ‘Blue Zone’,” said Yiyang, rereading the text off her phone screen. She then led the way to the meetup spot so they could collect their tickets and enter the arena. “Oh, there she is!” She squealed once she spotted her best friend, jumping up and down as she skipped to where said friend was standing and waiting. “Xiening! Hey! I’m so excited!”

Zitao’s jaw dropped and he took off his sunglasses in disbelief. “Xiening?”

“Ah, Zitao! I didn’t expect to see you here! We meet again,” said Xiening jovially.

Yiyang was no less surprised. “Hold on, you two know each other? Wow, small world.”

“Yeah, uh...we, um, we once went to a party together,” Zitao explained, regretting that he even allowed Jinsong into his house and into his life at all.

“You can say we’ve got some mutual acquaintances,” Xiening added. “But we’ve only met once before. And I certainly wasn’t aware you two also know each other.”

“Oh, phew.” Yiyang placed her hand on her chest and let out a sigh in relief. Turning to her best friend, she said, “I almost had a heart attack thinking you were the ex that he doesn’t wanna run into.”

Xiening laughed, and so did Zitao but he did so awkwardly. He would not be surprised if Baekhyun and Solbin were here since they remained such close friends with Seulgi, but hopefully not Dabin. He was not ready to face her.

Handing the passes and wristbands to Yiyang and Zitao, Xiening suggested, “let’s go in and enjoy the fest now, shall we?”


	13. Fine

After Krystal’s performance at the music festival, the audience gradually moved out of their tent, eagerly making their way to the spectator stand of another stage to see other acts. Xiening had been screaming at the top of her lungs to hype her senior labelmate just now, but quieted down to enjoy the more mellow music delivered by the artist holding the next stage: Taeyeon.

Yiyang’s eyes practically shone the whole time Taeyeon sang 11:11. Everybody was enjoying her stellar performances, waving their arms to the beat during Voice. Every song on the setlist was a chart-topping bop. Even Zitao also had to admit that if he had not agreed to attend this festival with Yiyang, he would have regretted it. He was having a blast, but halfway through the performance of Fine during the encore, he began to feel more emotional as he focused more on the lyrics, pondering upon how they related to how he was feeling about the breakup. Music really hit different when he was going through it, and before he knew it, tears were already welling in his eyes.

Taeyeon continued to sing on stage, smoothly through the part where she also burst into tears when filming the music video. Zitao could not look on anymore, even if his vision were not blurred because of his tears. The lyrics were compelling him to think about the last interaction he had with Dabin, and what she said to him when she broke up with him. And when the vocalist sang ‘the words ‘take care’ was it for our plain breakup’, Zitao completely lost it. It reminded him of how Dabin told him to take care of himself, that he deserved to be healthy even though she did not think he deserved her. He swallowed the lump in his throat, looking up at the ceiling in an attempt to force himself to hold his tears back, but they were not his to command. In desperation, he buried his face into his hands and was practically weeping by the time the song finished, his sobs completely drowned out by the deafening applause and fans’ cheering.

Yiyang was saddened by this, not expecting such a reaction from Zitao. She brought him here to cheer him up, after all, not to make him shed tears. She pulled him in to hug him, patting his back as she tried to soothe him. He basically threw himself into her embrace, craving solace.

Xiening on the other hand handed him a tissue. “Hey,” she said, wanting to reassure and comfort him. “You’re a man. You’re allowed to cry. Let it all out. Cry as much as you need.”

“I’m alright,” he replied, even though his breaths were still slightly uneven. He blew his nose and hiccuped as the girls tried to console him. He needed to disconnect himself from these emotions for now; it was too much all at once and he was still in public after all. He repeated himself after having really calmed down, drinking from his bottle of water. “Do we have a next segment?” He then asked.

“That’s it for tonight. There’s still tomorrow. We’ll see Taeyang, IU, Suzy, and some others tomorrow,” Yiyang answered. “Are you two hungry? Let’s go get some food, yeah?”

“The snacks from the kiosk won’t satisfy me,” Xiening replied. “Let’s sit down at a proper restaurant and get some good food.”

“Cool,” Zitao agreed. “Let’s go.”

* * *

For other VIP pass holders, filling their bellies with food was nowhere as important as getting to meet their favorite stars. Many fans were excited to meet Krystal and actually have a conversation with her, get her autograph and perhaps a picture with her too. She was also looking forward to interacting with her fans, but ever since her stage had ended, she had been feeling dizzy, needing to sit down and rest.

“Here,” said her assistant who handed some meds to her. “Would you like me to notify your wife? Don’t exert yourself; it’s okay if you really need to leave early. You already passed out last time.”

“I’m gonna be fine,” she insisted, massaging her temples after downing the pills. “I just need to rest for a bit. But yeah, can you text the CEO, please? Tell her I’m not feeling well.”

The woman in question was actually not far away, also backstage making acquaintances with other performers. As she roamed around, she caught sight of someone from her past. “Fanfan?” She called out after a pause.

Yifan was on his way back from the washroom, about to rejoin his friends who were surely taking pictures with Seulgi and Taeyeon at the moment. When he heard his nickname, he knew there was only one person in the world who would call him that. Her voice was impossible to forget.

“Is it really you?” Mijoo pressed on, walking up to Yifan and standing directly in front of him.

He bit his lip, wishing this was not really happening to him, but it was. “Mijoo-ssi,” he greeted, curtly and reluctantly.

She smirked. “That’s not what you used to call me.”

“We were on different terms back then,” he replied monotonously, not at all pleased to see her face.

“Fancy seeing you here,” she said blithely, ignoring the displeasure on his face. “Come to see my wife perform?”

“Just here to enjoy the music.” He folded his arms across his chest, feeling zero eagerness to have a conversation with her. She was his best and worst, capable of bringing him to unimaginable highs but also to tormenting lows that he wished he never had to go through. No doubt he had moved on from her now, being in his mid-thirties, and he could handle traumatic memories in a more mature manner. But he did spend the better part of his twenties in a tumultuous extramarital affair with her. She was married to her first wife at the time, a trophy wife who later divorced the unfaithful CEO. Her rocky relationship with Yifan took place way before Krystal even came along to become her second wife.

“It’s been 6 years since we last saw each other,” she stated, wanting to see how much influence she still had over him. It was slightly disappointing to see that he was not as submissive to her, on many levels, as he had been throughout the entirety of their affair. She could recall that he quite liked it whenever she dominated him. “Have you missed me?”

He was silent. The answer in his heart was no, but he was so unwilling to entertain her with dialogue that he did not even bother saying anything.

“I guess you just don’t want to admit it,” she said, shrugging. “I’ve missed you though.”

“I wish I could say the feeling is mutual,” he said crisply, but she suddenly had to glance at her phone to read the text she just received from Krystal’s assistant.

“Sorry, what was that?” She asked right after, blinking innocently.

“Nothing.”

“Hmm. We should meet up and hang out sometime,” she suggested. “Catch up with each other and have a round of drinks. As friends. Or more.”

“Or not,” he snapped.

Unexpectedly, Yixing appeared, finding the two of them in the middle of the hallway. “Hey,” he said softly to Yifan. “What’s taking you so long? Is everything okay? We’re gonna leave soon.”

Yifan decided to not respond to Yixing just yet, and instead saw a chance to discourage Mijoo’s attempts, regardless of what she was up to. He seized the opportunity and said to her. “Oh, let me make introductions. This is my boyfriend Yixing. Yixing, this is —”

“Jung Mijoo,” she cut in and shook Yixing’s hand. “I’m from Irons Entertainment. I hope this isn’t awkward for you,” she said saccharinely, not backing off the slightest even though she knew exactly what Yifan was trying to do. She went on, saying, “I came here not expecting to run into someone I used to date.” She gestured at Yifan and chuckled, growing even slyer as she observed how uncomfortable both men had become. “I was just discussing some music-related stuff with Yifan though,” she lied, then turned to face her ex. “You’re still a producer, right? It’d be great if you could work with Krystal on her next album.”

They were not sure how to respond, but was immensely relieved when Mijoo’s phone rang. “Oops, better take that,” she said, and went somewhere quieter to talk on the phone with her wife’s assistant. Not letting this golden opportunity go, Yifan grabbed Yixing’s hand and they hurried outside, quickly locating their group of friends who were already waiting for them.

* * *

Both Yiyang and Xiening were eager to make Zitao feel better as they slowly paced toward the biggest exit of the arena, alternating between humor and singing their favorite songs aloud. Xiening was giggling at one of Yiyang’s jokes when suddenly her laughter ceased and she looked dead serious instead.

“Hey,” said Yiyang, bewildered by her friend’s reaction. She waved a hand in front of Xiening, who was still staring at something in the distance. “Hello? Xiening? What’s the matter?”

Xiening’s facial expression turned from grim to furious. “That guy…” she motioned for Yiyang and Zitao to focus on what — or rather, whom — she was staring at.

“What? Who?” Zitao asked, just as muddled as his sister was. “There are so many people. I don’t get it. What’s going on?”

Xiening did not give them any explanation. Curling her hands into fists, she marched up to the man in question. Then she tapped him on the shoulder to get him to turn around to face her. Once he did so, she punched him square in the face.

Zitao and Yiyang immediately yelled Xiening’s name in shock, shouting for her to stop whatever she thought she was doing. But as soon as they looked at that man’s face more clearly, they realized he looked familiar. Yiyang in particular was even more scared as she took a few steps back, only feeling less threatened when she could stand behind her brother. After all, she had seen that man several weeks ago. He was the one who kept following her on the streets and tried to touch her, and would not stop until Zitao showed up and got him to back off.

Zitao could not help but feel a tinge of satisfaction, though only for a very brief moment. A voice in his head had reminded him that violence was not the answer and Xiening should _not_ be doing this. He stepped forward hastily and broke off the fight, hoping to put as much distance between her and that creep as possible. With a bleeding nose, that man cursed at her loudly but scurried away, not risking further injuries and not even demanding to find out why she assaulted him.

However Zitao and Yiyang were much more concerned as to why Xiening did that. They knew he was a pervert and nothing could justify what he did to Yiyang, but they also believed Xiening did not know about that incident. So why would she lash out at him this way?

“Because he’s a scumbag and he fucking deserved it. He deserved worse,” Xiening explained snappily although she was much calmer now. Breathing heavily, she leaned against the wall right outside the arena as she examined her knuckles. “He’s been touching random women here and there. I’ve already caught him a few times whenever we had to go from one tent to another. It’s so crowded and everybody’s pushing one another, so he took advantage of that. Piece of shit.”

She shook her head in disdain then proceeded to take out a pack of cigarettes from her bag. She lit a stick, and she herself was fuming too as she thought about what she had witnessed. It was gross that anyone would think it was okay to touch other people without their consent.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, don’t do that. Don’t do that!” Yiyang urged, trying to take the cigarette out of her friend’s hand but to no avail. In dismay, she turned to stare at Zitao who looked _very_ tempted to smoke as well. As he gulped, she recalled something that she learned while reading up on how to quit smoking: many people had trouble breaking the oral fixation associated with smoking, and she thought maybe that was something Zitao could be struggling with as well. _Right, the oral fixation_ , she thought to herself. “Hey, why don’t I treat you two to some bubble tea?” She suggested, thinking on her feet. “There are some booths over there and they seem to be selling some interesting drinks.”

Their faces lit up. “Your treat? I’m in,” Xiening smirked, quickly forgetting what happened just now.

“Okay, just wait for me here,” said Yiyang, scuttling to where the booths were set up.

“Tell them not to put sugar in mine!” Xiening added, hoping her best friend could still hear her.

“Are you kidding me?” Zitao gaped at her in awe.

“What, I’m a model. I need to keep fit. We get weighed every month. Company’s rule. So ingesting sweet stuff, especially so late at night, is definitely not a good idea,” she explained.

“That’s tough. These days I can’t do without sweet stuff,” he replied. “I’ve never thought of myself as someone with a sweet tooth, though. Must be part of the withdrawal effects since I’m trying to quit smoking these days.”

“Oh! Oh gosh, I didn’t know.” She was about to put out the cigarette now that she was aware of how it must be influencing him, but he stopped her.

“But tonight I’m not. Gimme some of that stuff,” he said furtively, tugging at her arm. “I can probably finish a stick before Yiyang comes back.”

“Oh hell no. She’s gonna find out and then she’s gonna kill me,” she shook her head, but winked at him. Taking the cigarette out of her mouth, she offered it to him. “You can finish it for me though, if you’re really craving that nicotine.”

Zitao stared at the cigarette between Xiening’s fingers, and gulped again.


	14. The Struggle Is Real

“What took you guys so long?” Solbin asked lightheartedly as soon as Yixing and Yifan rejoined them. “We’re coming back tomorrow; you don’t have to miss this place too much.”

“Yifan unexpectedly ran into someone he hasn’t seen in a long time,” Yixing reported, neither lying nor divulging details.

“And I sure did _not_ miss them,” Yifan emphasized coldly. “Let’s go. The parking lot should be that way, right?” He asked just for the sake of it, pointing in a random direction. He was actually right by chance, but he did not care. He just wanted to get away. As he led the way, hand in hand with Yixing, they were followed by Solbin and Baekhyun, then Chanyeol and Dabin were at the very back.

“I had such a great time today. I took so many beautiful pictures thanks to this new phone!” She said, elated and still had so much energy.

“You mean your selfies?” Chanyeol asked playfully. “Then yeah, I agree. Beautiful indeed.”

Dabin nudged him shyly, smiling and blushing. “Why is ahjussi trying to flatter me?”

“I did nothing of that sort,” he grinned from ear to ear. “Are you tired? Here,” he offered his shoulder, reminding her of how she fell asleep on his shoulder last time.

“No! I’m still so stoked,” she replied joyously. _His shoulders, his arms...so sexy_ , she thought to herself, but did not say it out loud.

Contrary to her words, however, the next moment her face fell, and she stopped in her tracks as soon as they exited the arena.

The abrupt change in her mood was easy for Chanyeol to detect. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

Her heart sank when she saw Zitao from a distance. She thought her eyes must be deceiving her, but it really was him. He was all that she could see despite the crowds around them. She was not expecting him to be here, but then again what would she know about his activities and company?

She stood there, rooted to the spot and keeping her eyes on him. Suddenly it felt as if it had been forever since she last laid eyes on him, really properly looked at him. She felt like she had missed out on too much, wanting to see him and see more of him, but also not wanting to face him. Specifically not wanting to face the aftermath of their breakup and memories of their long relationship. She was so conflicted, and her heart ached even more when she saw that he was not here on his own. Of course he would not come here all by himself. He was with a girl, but not someone Dabin could recognize. The likeliest options would be his elder stepsister Victoria and his younger half-sister Yiyang, but neither was in Dabin’s sight. It was someone she had never met before. Perhaps he had someone new already? She knew she used to hold an extremely important place in his heart, but she had lost all rights to it the moment she made it clear that she had had enough and was breaking up with him. It did not help that he appeared to be sharing a cigarette with this new girl. Obviously he had no need to care for her feelings or wishes anymore so he was free to smoke as much as he wanted. The unmistakable stinging feeling in her nose made her tremble and take a deep breath, holding in her tears for as long as she could.

By now, those around her had also realized what she was fixated on and why she looked like she was about to cry. Wanting to support her, Chanyeol held her hand and grasped it, not thinking of it as a romantic move. But she squeezed his hand even more tightly, digging her nails into the back of his palm.

On the contrary, Yixing found another way to try to make Dabin feel better. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he said, “they might not be what you think they are.”

“What do you mean?” Dabin snapped in the spur of the moment, no longer able to remain rational. “What are they if not a couple? They’re sharing a cigarette — they’re indirectly kissing.”

Having been childhood friends with both Dabin and Solbin, Yixing knew their personalities well enough to have confidence that they would never intentionally snap at him the way Dabin did just now. “Not _directly_ kissing,” Yixing pointed out.

“You know what,” Solbin chimed in as well. “For the longest time many people would also mistake me and Yixing for a couple,” she said, thinking about her ex and plenty other people who were at some point under that impression.

“I also suspected that at first, actually,” Yifan admitted sheepishly, raising his hand and also wanting to talk Dabin out of her assumptions. “We all know that ain’t the truth though.”

“Do you want me to go and ask them if they’re a couple?” Solbin offered, already knowing Dabin’s answer.

“No!” She answered urgently and without delay. “Don’t. Just let him be. Let him be the only one making questionable decisions. I don’t want him to know I’m here. I can’t bear to look at him.” She paused, then sighed. “Let’s just go. I’m tired. I just wanna go home and sleep.”

* * *

Yiyang soon returned to where her brother and her best friend were, with three cups of bubble tea in a reusable bag in her hand. “Here you go,” she said merrily, distributing the drinks. “I told them to make it extra sweet for you!” She said to Xiening jokingly, which made the model roll her eyes and stick her tongue out.

“Thanks,” said Zitao sheepishly, hoping his sister would not be able to tell that he did accept Xiening’s devilish offer. ‘Just a few drags will be good enough to settle the itch’, he said just then, but more to convince himself than for Xiening to hear.

“By the way, I saw Dabin-eonni just now,” said Yiyang casually, but Zitao spat out his drink, causing a few drops to spill from the straw. He coughed loudly whereas Xiening just laughed at his reaction, patting him on the back to help him breathe.

“Oh yeah? Spill the tea,” said Xiening, wriggling her eyebrows and thinking she was being witty with the pun. “Even though I have no idea who that is. If you got tea, serve it, sis.”

“Oh, she used to share a flat with Zitao. Dropped by our office at times as well,” Yiyang answered, not thinking much of Zitao’s dramatic reaction and merely concluded that there must have been too many boba pearls in the straw at the same time. “I saw her just now. Think she’s with her boyfriend —”

Zitao choked again, looking as if he had just seen a ghost, but Yiyang continued. “— as well as some of her friends. I’m not really sure. I was queuing for the drinks so I didn’t go up to her.”

“With _whom_?!” Zitao spluttered.

“Actually, I don’t really know if that’s her boyfriend, since he looks quite a bit older than her? The guy’s at least as tall as you are, got big ears, and a monkey tattoo here,” she described, tapping on her own forearm. “Oh, wait! That’s them!” She pointed.

Whilst Xiening hardly bothered to look since she was not acquainted with any of the people her best friend was talking about, Zitao was very, very concerned. Quickly, he located them, as they were familiar figures to him. He actually spotted Baekhyun first, but he should not even be surprised that Baekhyun would be here at a music festival since he worked in the industry after all. What really shocked Zitao was when he saw that Dabin was really holding hands with Chanyeol. Yiyang was not lying.

Zitao understood why Yiyang would think that that ahjussi was Dabin’s boyfriend. Zitao shuddered at the thought. He did not want to believe it, but then why else would they be hand in hand?

His heart completely shattered, and he could have dropped the drink that he was holding, as he watched how Chanyeol protected Dabin as they made their way across the crowds to the parking lot. Dabin clung tightly to Chanyeol, who had an arm around her shoulders while she was holding his other hand. It _hurt_ Zitao to see her close with someone else like that.

“Aww,” Xiening drawled dramatically, snapping Zitao to attention. She elbowed her best friend and said, “just say you envy them and go.”

“Shut up. You’re just as single as I am,” Yiyang complained.

“Didn’t you say your boss was hot?” Xiening teased. “Single dad, huh? Daddy material.”

“No! I said no such thing! Besides, he’s too old for me!” Yiyang hissed.

“Pfft. I bet the monkey tattoo guy just now is also over 30,” Xiening winked. “He’s still hot.”

“No he’s not,” Zitao cut in, clearing his throat in discomfort.

“Ooh, no need to be jealous. You’ve got visuals as well,” Xiening reassured him, but lightheartedly, whereas he was serious and still felt the pain of witnessing Dabin allow herself into the arms of another.

It was not what Zitao wanted to hear, but whatever. He sighed and said, “we’ve seen everything. Can we leave now?”

* * *

At some point in the night, probably a couple hours before sunup, Dabin was still awake, tossing and turning and unable to get a single wink of sleep. She was going to _loathe_ having to get out of bed in the morning. She could see herself snoozing all her alarms, not giving a flying fuck and continuing to sleep until she really had to get up lest they be late to the second day of the festival.

She had the guest room all to herself, and it was unsurprisingly quiet given the time of the day. But that also meant that she was left alone with her thoughts and they would not let her rest. The more she tried to put herself to sleep, the less it worked. She was frustrated that her attempts to get some shut-eye were backfiring on her, and also because the images of Zitao sharing a cigarette with a mysterious girl were all that was on her mind.

Sighing in defeat, she sat up and reached for her phone on the nightstand. Roughly unplugging it from the charger wire since the battery had reached 93% now, she unlocked it and opened the Instagram app. Aimlessly she scrolled and scrolled and scrolled, liberally but also absentmindedly liking almost every post she came across. She saw mostly pics taken at the festival, including a photo uploaded by Krystal Jung. Dabin double-tapped on it and kept scrolling, but then suddenly she tensed up and scrolled back up, feeling the need to examine Krystal’s picture in closer detail.

Krystal herself was standing in the middle, to nobody’s surprise. She was surrounded by her labelmates, senior and junior alike, as well as her backup dancers, all of them posing happily. Dabin paid little attention to the caption, only skimming through it and assuming Krystal must just be saying a few words to thank her fans and those who helped make her stage a success. What Dabin truly cared about was one of the girls in the photo. Dabin recognized that girl by her bright mermaid hair and tank top with the word ‘TIME’ on it — that was the girl that Dabin saw Zitao with just a few hours ago.

Dabin’s palms began sweating and she felt her phone sliding out of her hands. Licking her lips nervously, she had already slipped into detective mode at this point. She checked the people that got tagged in Krystal’s post, and took no time to find out that the girl in question was a model called Xiening, who was under the same agency, Irons Entertainment, as Krytal was.

A jealous woman could find out information about someone more efficiently than the FBI could. Dabin felt even more awake now, and started to stalk Xiening’s profile. She found herself judging every photo she posted, even those from three years ago. Constantly reminding herself to be careful not to give that girl any likes, as if one out of thousands would make a significant difference.

The more ‘research’ she did, the more threatened she felt. Xiening was not very famous, but still young and pretty after all. Dabin had no idea how Zitao and Xiening became acquainted, nor did she have any clue about what kind of a relationship they had. Were they just hanging out and smoking together? Were they fuck buddies? Or had Zitao committed himself to a serious, exclusive relationship with her? Dabin had to take a deep breath and try to control her thoughts. The more her thoughts ran wild, the more restless she was. There were too many unknowns; she felt as if she was asking countless questions that she would never find out the answers to. She would hate it if Xiening were indeed intimate with Zitao in whatever way. Sure, she was the one who let go of Zitao and their relationship first, but she did not like that he was not hers anymore. She wished it were not that way.

Taking several deep breaths, Dabin put her phone down for a moment. Her eyes were stinging and it was not because she was about to cry, but because her eyes were dry and tired. Sighing again, she crawled back into the covers and shut her eyes. She wished she could squeeze something to destress, like a plushie, or a cushion, or an ahjussi. Her eyes shot wide open again when she recalled how defenseless she was today. She was clinging to Chanyeol and not at all resisting his touch, even leaning into him so damn comfortably. She was using the crowdedness as an excuse to stay close to him and to hold his hand so she could feel some sense of security, but why did he let her? Was he not the one to hold her hand in the first place?

She groaned. Perhaps he was just trying to protect her, since it was indeed crowded and messy. Undeniably, people were impatiently pushing one another to get to wherever they wanted to go. But was it really that simple? Why was it as if she could not get enough of him? It was not just on this occasion either. Last time she asked him to come home with her after the grocery run...what was she thinking?

She recalled what her sister had said to her that night, after she fell asleep on Chanyeol’s shoulder toward the end of the comedy they were watching. Solbin was not wrong; the way she spent the evening with Chanyeol...it really could have passed as a date, even though neither of them thought about it that way. They did not even consider the possibility that their interactions could have been perceived as romantic.

But how could it be? It was impossible for her to have feelings for Chanyeol. It was not even the age factor that made her dismiss the possibility — it was more because she was still hung up on Zitao. She broke up with him, yes, but she did it because she could not stand his habits and decisions anymore. His lifestyle affected her heavily too. It was not to imply that she did not love him anymore.

Despite the confusion about how she felt toward Chanyeol, she was clear about how she felt toward Zitao. But what if _Zitao_ got the wrong idea about how she felt?

She buried her face into the pillow and grunted. Her biggest wish right now was just to _stop_ thinking about everything, and _sleep_.


	15. Upgrade

Despite the emotional turmoil in Zitao’s heart over the weekend, he had to pick himself up and go through another week of work. It was not as hectic as the previous week was, but still pretty damn demanding. Obviously having Yiyang around helped a lot and he was glad to have her in his life.

Zitao also spent his next weekend doing music-related stuff, courtesy of Baekhyun who brought Zitao to one of the studios under his recording company that the producer trio founded. By now they had expanded to a couple more locations and earning big bucks.

“So this is what my father has been funding,” said Zitao proudly. “I like what I'm seeing.”

“Couldn't have done it without him! I'm really proud of how far we've come. I still remember the first time we met him — at the VC pitch event. Gosh, we were so nervous. But it turned out to be successful in the end,” Baekhyun replied, chuckling at the memory. “And that's how Yixing and Yifan met for the first time. Look at them now!”

“Hey, speaking of, you and Solbin-noona met for the first time at a library, didn't you?” Zitao asked as he carefully cleaned the keyboard.

“Yeah. I can't believe it's been that long. She was starting her first year at uni and I was in my second,” Baekhyun answered. “How about you and Dabin?”

“Well,” replied Zitao wistfully. “We've known about each other’s existence all through high school but it was really in our final year that we started to date. Oh, actually, when she and I first started talking, it was at a library too. She lost her USB stick and I was trying to help her find it but to no avail. In the end I just said I could buy a new one for her and she looked at me as if I was out of my mind. She didn't believe I was gonna do it but I did.” He then shook his head as he realized something. “We didn't even know each other _that_ well at the time, but somehow I was willing to do that for her, just because I didn't want to see her sad. Now we've ended our seven-year relationship and it's all because I wouldn't drop my bad habits, not even for her...I can see why she's so disappointed in me, to the point where she doesn't want to be with me anymore.”

“Well, it's not impossible to change her mind,” said Baekhyun, patting Zitao on his slumped shoulders. “If you really love her still, don’t give up just yet. I’m not saying you should rush it, but it isn’t the end.”

However Zitao looked even more dejected now. “I want to believe you, but I can’t. Not anymore, especially not after what I saw last week.”

Baekhyun sat down and asked calmly, “what did you see? Or I should say, what did you think you saw?”

Zitao mentioned that Dabin was all smiles, hand in hand with Chanyeol. “I mean, did you see the way they were clinging to each other? They looked inseparable, and that shit hurt.”

Baekhyun nodded after some thought. “Well, they’re not a couple, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Zitao breathed out in relief.

“Interesting how you assumed the worst right away, just like she did.”

“Huh? What did she do? What was there to assume?” He questioned, frowning in worry.

“You think she wouldn’t get the wrong idea after seeing you share a cigarette with the lady you went to the festival with? You did at least two things that brought her pain — smoking _and_ sharing a cigarette with someone she also assumed must be your, I don’t know, new girlfriend, or your bedmate, or something along those lines,” Baekhyun explained.

“What? With Xiening? Whoa, no way. I’ve only seen her a couple times. She’s Yiyang’s best friend,” Zitao clarified. “There’s nothing going on between me and Xiening. I’m neither dating her nor fucking her. I wish I could say that to Dabin myself. But I don’t think she would wanna see me or interact with me…”

“It’s easy to have misunderstandings precisely because you two aren’t talking to each other. You aren’t romantically involved with that chick you mentioned, nor has Dabin moved on from you to Chanyeol,” replied Baekhyun. “Although I will say this: I hadn’t expected Dabin to grow so close to Chanyeol so quickly recently, but that’s what seems to be happening. They’ve known each other a long time as well; I think maybe for six years — it was some time after Solbin and I became official; it was through us that Dabin and Chanyeol got acquainted. And as far as I know, Chanyeol sees her as a dongsaeng, that’s why he has the tendency to look out for her and sort of protect her. Dabin, on the other hand, has always thought that he’s too old for her to even consider him as an option. At least, that’s what my wife told me.”

“I believe you, but I really just can’t help but think it’s not that simple between them. As you said, they’re getting close, and it’s happening fast, and you didn’t see that coming. So, that’s gotta be because they have chemistry, right?” Zitao blurted, his thoughts becoming more and more disorganized. “You know, I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. I think not getting to see Dabin is messing with my head and I can barely think coherently.”

“Didn’t she tell you not to contact her until you’re clean?”

“I’m clean! I’ve been clean since my last cigarette!”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “That’s always the case, isn’t it.”

“No but really, I haven’t smoked since last weekend. At the festival, with Xiening,” Zitao boasted. “And that was just _half_ a cigarette. Actually, less than that! Even non-smokers probably inhale more than that amount of secondhand smoke on a daily basis.”

“You can try and justify it, but at the end of the day, if there are no firsthand smokers, then none of us non-smokers would have to endure that, right?” Baekhyun smiled a little. “Let me tell you something though. If you can remain clean for another week, then I will consider putting in a good word for you with Dabin.”

Zitao was overjoyed. “Oh my gosh! You will? Shit, that’s the best news I’ve heard in a while! I’m gonna stay clean. I will. Just watch me. I’ll do it. I’ll get it done. I’m gonna be successful. I’m confident. I’m feeling very motivated right now. Wow, I can’t thank you enough.”

“I will keep my word if you keep yours as well. But you gotta be strict with yourself, alright? Not even half a cigarette. Not even less than that. Not a single drag. If that lady friend of yours tempts you or offers anything to you,” Baekhyun warned. “You know what to do. Fail, and you’d be blowing what could be your _only_ chance to prove to Dabin that you’ve changed. This is a one-time offer on my part.”

Zitao nodded with confidence. “Aye, captain!”

* * *

Just as Yifan did not expect to run into Mijoo at the music festival, similarly he had an unexpected encounter with _someone_ at his cousin Shixun’s housewarming party. Shixun and his husband Luhan had moved into a new house, a much bigger one, and it even had a pool. They were just as excited about this party as their guests were, which as far as Yifan knew also included Yixing, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Solbin, and Dabin. Solbin in particular used to be Shixun’s colleague as they did an internship together at Mijoo’s company many years ago, when they were still university students. To this day they still kept in touch and remained good friends.

It only made sense that the guest list would not just include Shixun’s social circle but also Luhan’s. Luhan did what he did best and entertained his friends, one of them being Minseok, who just walked in with his girlfriend Seoyoon. Once Yifan saw her, he paled.

Seoyoon used to be a model, one of the most beautiful models to walk this earth. Everybody knew that. Even though she was going to step into her thirties soon, she was glowing and looked impressively youthful. Her visuals were out of this world and she was radiating elegance too.

But Seoyoon was also the ex-wife of Jung Mijoo, the CEO who was now married to Krystal Jung. Everybody knew that too.

What was less known to the public was that after the divorce, Seoyoon got into a relationship with Minseok and this relationship was a lot healthier. It was wholesome and it made both of them happy. She no longer had to put up with the toxicity of a partner who was a pathological cheater.

One of Mijoo’s most remarkable affairs while she was still married to Seoyoon was with Yifan. Yifan and Seoyoon had never really talked, although they had seen each other more than once back then. At the housewarming party, they recognized each other without much difficulty. Although Yifan was not planning on having a conversation with Seoyoon, he approached her anyway as he felt guilty about his affair with Mijoo and wanted to apologize for it.

“I’m really sorry for having brought so much pain to you, for what I did with your ex-wife back then,” said Yifan earnestly. “It was wrong and I should never have done that. I was young and stupid and I gave in to my desires; I wish I hadn’t made those decisions that I know must have hurt you deeply. At that time, I just wanted a piece of her; it wasn’t in my intentions to cause your marriage to fail, but I understand the damage is done.”

It was plain to Seoyoon how sincere Yifan was and how much pain he himself also had to endure, dealing with Mijoo and his own feelings. Seoyoon sighed and smiled wryly, not feeling any anger or contempt for Yifan.

“I don’t blame you,” she said. “Really, I don’t. It’s easy to be seduced by her. Too easy. I’ve been there, done that. But as I’m sure you’re painfully aware, you’re neither the first nor the last, out of all the people that she’s cheated on me with before. _She’s_ the one to blame. She’s just utterly unable to stay faithful to anybody. It’s sick. She’s the reason why our marriage failed, not you or anyone she’s had an affair with,” she explained calmly. As so many years had passed, she had already reconciled herself with all the pain and turmoil associated with that marriage. “To be honest, I regard myself, and you, and all the others as her victims. That’s the way I see it. She played with our emotions, manipulated us into believing her lies, used us for sex, but didn’t really give a damn about how we really felt. She was so toxic for all of us, and we’re really better off without her in our lives. I’m actually sort of worried for her new wife,” she went on, sufficiently comfortable with Yifan to share with him her thoughts on Krystal. “Like us, she was really young when she became enticed by all the perks that she could enjoy if she’d just agreed to become one of Mijoo’s playthings. I wouldn’t think for one second she wouldn’t have to put up with the countless affairs that I’m certain Mijoo is _still_ having. Maybe she doesn’t mind, or maybe she doesn’t care. But it’s also possible that she’s hurting inside, and she just keeps it all in. Perhaps she’s determined to not let it show — that's the way I used to cope with it. I know, it’s none of my business anymore who my ex-wife is with now or what their relationship is like, but I do feel bad for those who are following in our footsteps. No matter the wife or the lover.”

“I ran into her last week, actually,” Yifan revealed.

“Oh, at the music festival? I didn’t go there myself, but I heard Krystal Jung was part of the lineup. She's wanted everywhere.”

Yifan nodded. “Yeah, she was. I didn’t see her, but I talked to Mijoo. I mean, _she_ came up to me and talked to me. Seemed like she wanted to reconnect with me but I’m not gonna let that happen. I’m done with her and I’m never letting her back into my life again. I’m not gonna repeat my mistakes.”

“Well, I’m glad both of us have completely moved on from her now,” replied Seoyoon.

“And that we’ve found ourselves someone much better,” Yifan added.

“Oh, definitely. Minseok treats me right and I wish I’d met him sooner,” Seoyoon smiled. Scanning their surroundings, she found Minseok on the other side of the room, chatting with another couple which Yifan easily recognized to be Baekhyun and Solbin.

Yifan squinted at them. “He seems to be talking with his ex...and her husband.”

“And they seem to be having a lovely conversation,” Seoyoon commented breezily. “What, were you concerned that I’d be scarred and I would worry that my partner would cheat on me again? Minseok isn’t Mijoo. I’m not worried. It really fucked me up at first, but gradually I got over it and it doesn’t haunt me anymore. I wouldn’t be dating him now if I still had that debilitating mentality.”

Yifan smiled too, realizing it was also what he went through before he found the courage to go into a relationship with Yixing. “That’s something to be proud of. Cheers,” he said, raising his glass.

Seoyoon grinned as she raised her glass too. “Cheers.”


	16. Closer & Closure

At the housewarming party, Solbin sat down on the pool chair next to Dabin’s. Joyfully, Solbin remarked, “you look like you’re in deep thought.”

Dabin was indeed staring at the pool. “Yeah, I’m kinda reminiscing,” she answered. “I’m just thinking about how Zitao’s parents’ house has a pool as well. And Zitao and I used to have so much fun there.”

“So you’re not thinking about how Baekhyun and I almost broke the law when we tried to sneak into Zitao’s parents’ house pool for some late night skinny dipping?” Solbin asked mischievously.

“Good times, huh?” Dabin replied wryly.

“You miss him?” Solbin pressed on. “Or just the memories?”

“I miss him,” Dabin answered without missing a single beat. “I definitely would prefer it if he could just drop his unhealthy habits, and that includes the people he calls ‘friends’.”

“I agree. He should definitely have chosen you over behaviors and company that aren’t healthy for him,” replied Solbin. “So, _if_ he does do as you said, are you gonna take him back?”

“Well, I…” Dabin hesitated. “I think so, yes. I still very much have very strong feelings for him; it’s just that our relationship would not have been sustainable if he kept doing what he did that I was absolutely not cool with. It’s just that I’m not sure if he’s ever going to see how unhealthy these things and these people are. I used to have confidence that he could quit smoking but now, I don’t dare get my hopes up.”

“Then...what if you meet someone new before Zitao makes enough of an improvement for you to consider getting back together with him?”

“I can meet a lot of people and they’d still not be able to take the place that Zitao has in my heart,” Dabin asserted, sounding so confident that even she herself was slightly taken aback. It was as if she was determined to not give anyone else a chance, even though she herself was not that conscious of this resolve. “I’ve loved him for seven years. I don’t just... _stop_ loving someone like that. And for the past month that we’ve been apart, I’ve been healthier. But I’m not sure if I can say that I’ve been happier, on the whole.”

“I think that your thoughts are much clearer now that you’ve spent more time with yourself,” said Solbin.

Dabin nodded. “I would rather wait for Zitao to someday get his life together than try to start something new with someone new.”

As soon as she finished her sentence, she caught sight of a couple that seemed to be walking towards Solbin. “Hey, is that...that supermodel…”

Solbin whirled and found herself face to face with her ex, Minseok, hand in hand with Seoyoon.

“Oh gosh, this is awkward,” Dabin uttered under her breath, loud enough for her sister to hear but not for the couple to catch.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Solbin whispered to her sister as she got up to meet the couple halfway. She was ready to reconnect with Minseok and meet his new girlfriend. Solbin and Minseok might not be that close anymore but they were still on civil terms with each other. “I’ll be back later.”

As Solbin went to chat with them, and they were later joined by Baekhyun as well as Yixing and Yifan, Dabin remained by herself. She kept thinking about the decisions she had made for her own health, and what that meant for her relationship with Zitao. That was until more and more guests began to make their way to the pool area, some of them even diving in. The summer heat made all of them sweat heavily, and the coolness of the water in the pool was the best feeling.

Dabin was not the least bit surprised to see this, or to see everyone in their swimsuits. But when _Chanyeol_ walked past without a shirt on, she gulped and immediately her attention went to him.

Instead of jumping into the pool right away, Chanyeol found Dabin on her own. He decided to sit down next to her, but directly beside her rather than on the adjacent chair that Solbin was sitting on just now. Dabin wondered why Chanyeol was suddenly so close to her, but she was not complaining.

She was staring him up and down, not even aware that she was licking her lips. Noticing this, he leaned in and smirked at her reaction.

“Say it,” he tempted, his voice deep and husky.

“W-what…?” She asked breathily. “What do you mean…”

“What’s on your mind?” He prodded, nowhere as affected as she was. “Say it. Tell me. I want to know.”

“It’s...n-nothing…” she insisted timidly, shying away from him but he only leaned in closer, commanding her attention.

“Oh? Then why are your cheeks red?” He questioned casually.

Her eyes darted everywhere, not daring to meet his gaze but also fearing it would be too obvious if she kept her stare glued to his glorious abs.

“Must be the alcohol,” she lied. At least there was an empty glass on the small table next to her chair.

Slowly he backed away from her, but only for a little bit. He was not going anywhere just yet.

“Didn’t know you were such a lightweight,” he commented, although evidently not convinced and not buying a single thing that she was saying. “Wanna go for a swim?”

“Maybe later,” she answered shyly.

“Yeah. Let’s just wait till there aren’t so many people in the pool,” he agreed, _still_ not going anywhere. It seemed he found it completely fine for them to be sitting _so_ closely together.

“We can go get some food in the meantime,” she suggested. Perhaps then she could at least _breathe_ , which she could not do when there was too little distance between them.

“Sure,” he replied, finally standing up. She followed suit after exhaling in relief.

* * *

It was a couple of hours later when the pool was no longer occupied, as practically everyone else had gone to get more food and drinks, as well as to explore other rooms in the big house.

“That’s more like it,” said Dabin to Chanyeol, getting to enjoy this extent of privacy. “Our turn to have the pool all to ourselves.”

Happily, they got into the water, frolicking and splashing each other more than swimming. They were giggling to their hearts’ content, but their laughter could not be heard by the other guests who were all too far away, out of sight and out of mind.

“Oops!” Dabin blurted loudly as she almost lost her balance. Luckily she held on to the side of the pool, and Chanyeol also grabbed her arm firmly.

“Careful,” he said, still grinning from their exchanges.

“I just didn’t realize there were some steps here,” she chuckled, regaining her balance and standing on both her feet, just two steps above where Chanyeol was standing. That lessened the height difference between them — she used to barely reach her shoulders. But now she must be right below his nose, again rendering her much closer to him than ever. Their eyes met and both of them were quiet for a moment, tacitly recognizing the bubbling chemistry between them but not saying anything about it.

“Come on, let’s go to the other side of the pool,” he said softly, helping her down the few steps.

“Where the water’s deeper?” She asked.

“Relax, you won’t drown,” he replied lightheartedly.

“Not as long as I hold on to you tightly,” she added smoothly, and once again they were holding hands. It reminded them of when they also held hands at the festival last week, but the feeling was different. This time, their hearts were racing not from the excitement of attending the concert but from the mutual attraction they undeniably shared. The hand-holding also became less of a protective gesture and more of a romantic one.

“You can hold on to me as much as you want,” he said, his voice deeper than the ocean. It made her heart race and she was subconsciously holding her breath, not because the water level was reaching her chest but because of his effect on her. They paused at a suitable point, and turned to each other, exchanging loving gazes.

“And if...I don’t wanna let go?” She asked softly, one hand staying in his while the other was shamelessly placed on his arm so that she could get a feel of his biceps.

He chuckled breathily as he let her touch him. “Then you don’t have to let go,” he answered, for just her to hear. Pulling her closer and seeing as she had become comfortable with their intimacy, he reckoned it would be a good time to take it to the next level. “Don’t let go,” he urged, and soon she was going to figure out why he had to reiterate that. For now, she was not focused on anything but how close he had brought his lips to hers. She decided to meet him halfway, and allowed him the kiss. It felt incredible, and just as she thought it could not get any better, he surprised her with something he had in mind.

With one hand still firmly holding hers, his other hand was on the small of her back. He took the lead and brought both of them underwater, slowly descending. He wanted her to have enough time to decide if she wanted this just as much as he did, before both of them had their heads underwater, their lips still locked as she did as he said and held on to him, not letting go. The kiss easily became slippery once they were underwater. But that was only for a moment before they had to come up for oxygen, water dripping from their hair and from their chins. Still they kept their eyes on each other, conveying the sizzling attraction through their sensual eye contact. Once they had caught their breaths, their lips were on each other’s again, his hands moving to her shoulder blades now whereas her arms were over his shoulders. His fingers found the clasp of her bikini top, toying with it idly as he deepened the kiss, which made her gasp softly, both of them pausing for breath.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt!” Yixing piped up awkwardly, standing at the side of the pool. Sheepishly the couple untangled themselves from each other.

“Gege! You saw nothing, right?” Dabin blushed, waddling to where Yixing was.

“I saw absolutely nothing, but please...it’s time for the proper house tour. Shixun and Luhan and everybody else are waiting for you guys,” Yixing replied. “Unless you guys don’t want the house tour and just want some privacy?”

“I want the house tour!” Dabin insisted, getting out of the water hurriedly.

“Here,” said Yixing, handing them the towels that he picked up from their chairs. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell the owners.”

* * *

Yixing soon forgot about having walked in on Dabin and Chanyeol at the pool. Luckily they were not doing anything...unchaste. At least not yet.

After dinner, he and Yifan took a stroll around a lake nearby. Yifan also texted his cousin to let him and Luhan know that they would be back shortly, sure to not miss dessert.

“You know Luhan’s friend Minseok?” Yixing asked. “He used to go out with Solbin. Like, many years ago. But she dumped him because he thought she was cheating on him with me. It’s nice to see that they all got over it, and now Solbin is happily married to Baekhyun while Minseok has a new girlfriend.”

“Who happens to be my ex’s ex-wife,” Yifan pointed out. “I’m really glad I’ve found peace and proper closure after everything that Mijoo has put me through. And getting to have a civil conversation with Seoyoon about it has made me feel so much better too. Still, what makes me happiest is that I have you. Seoyoon said to me just now that she’s overcome the fear of yet another relationship failing because of her partner’s infidelity, and I think I know how she feels. I know what it’s like. And I also know that I'm no longer crippled by that fear, because _you_ didn’t disappoint me. It’s because of you that my faith in relationships has been restored. You’re the best boyfriend I can ask for.”

Yixing smiled warmly. “That last line. That was supposed to be _my_ line. You’ve already stolen my heart; did you really have to steal my lines as well?”

“I will steal every part of you,” Yifan teased as they crossed a small bridge together.

“I will forever be thankful that I went to the Chinese New Year party six years ago,” replied Yixing. “I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t met you there.”

“I don’t ever wanna imagine life without you,” said Yifan heartily. “I’m thankful for having met you there, for getting drunk and ending up in your bed, and for you not once giving up on me, even back when I was too much of a mess myself to be good enough for you.”

“What's past is past. Let’s only look back on it if it can make us cherish each other more,” said Yixing, reaching for Yifan’s hands.

Yifan nodded happily, finding the familiar comfort that Yixing’s hands always offered. “More and more each day.”


	17. Are We Moving Too Fast?

“What’s the occasion?” Dabin asked curiously, standing in the kitchen where Solbin and Baekhyun appeared to be busy preparing a meal of sorts.

“I said I’d cook for you, didn’t I?” Solbin winked as she put her apron on.

“You can consider me the sous-chef,” Baekhyun added.

“I'll set the table then,” Dabin offered, clapping her hands cutely. “What are you guys gonna make for dinner tonight?”

“Chicken stew with rice!” Baekhyun answered right away, his eyes shining in joy.

“Oh! Ain't that your favorite food,” Dabin giggled.

“We also have tonkatsu and grilled ribs,” said Solbin, pointing at the ingredients in an array of bowls and dishes.

“Perfect!” Dabin replied. “Hold on, aren't those...Chanyeol’s favorite dishes too…?”

“Yeah they are!” Baekhyun confirmed casually. “So prepare four sets of cutlery.”

“He's coming over?” Dabin squeaked, her voice suddenly becoming a lot more girly.

The couple exchanged glances. “Yeah, he is,” Solbin answered calmly.

Dabin pouted. “So you're actually cooking for him. Not for me.”

“Technically, if I cook for him, and then _he_ cooks for you someday, then I'd actually be cooking for you, just indirectly,” Solbin joked.

“He can cook?” Dabin asked, clearly enthralled.

“Yeah, he can. His parents run a restaurant,” Baekhyun revealed.

“Oh,” Dabin cooed, breaking into a wide grin.

“Look at you, going all heart-eyes for your ahjussi,” Solbin teased as she washed her hands.

Dabin gaped at her sister. “The lies! Why are you always lying!” She said as she slowly backed out of the kitchen and thereby out of the conversation. Truthfully, she knew how smitten with Chanyeol she must look. Could she be blamed, though, when nothing would be the same anymore ever since the kiss happened?

Her heart was beating ridiculously fast right now, just at the thought of getting to see him over dinner tonight. But he had done that so many times before and it was not even a special occasion tonight. Why was she reacting like that? She could not stay still, no matter standing or sitting. Would she even be able to eat the food that Solbin and Baekhyun were preparing for dinner? Or was _she_ going to be eaten alive by her nerves?

Rather than pointlessly checking her phone for notifications that were not even there, or refreshing her feed a dozen times just to see that there was nothing new to look at, what Dabin needed was someone to talk to about this, before it sent her into a full-on frenzy. But she could not tell anybody about what had happened between her and Chanyeol.

Unless it was somebody who _already_ knew about it. And there was only one person.

Without a second thought, Dabin started to spam Yixing with messages, typing out paragraph after paragraph, until Yixing had to stop her and offer to talk to her on the phone instead.

“Gege! I need your help!” She gushed at him once he picked up her call. “It's about what happened yesterday!”

“Ah, but I saw absolutely nothing yesterday,” he replied playfully. Dabin found it easy to detect the mischief in his tone, but anyone who did not know him well would have thought he was completely innocent and they would be wrong. So wrong.

“Aigoo! The next time I’m in the same room with you and my sister, you two are gonna gang up on me,” she complained. “Though I could really use some advice.”

“Alright. Advice about what exactly?”

“Well first of all how to calm down! He’s coming over for dinner tonight and he hasn’t even arrived yet — heck, I don’t even know if he’s on his way yet? But my heart is already about to beat out of my chest and I’m literally _trembling_ from how nervous I am.”

“You mean Chanyeol?”

“No. I mean Yifan.”

“Huh?”

“Of course I mean Chanyeol! Who else!” She squeaked, rolling like a buffalo on her bed.

“Dabin-ah, _why_ are you so nervous though? I mean, it’s just Chanyeol. You’ve known him for so long. What’s the worst that could happen? Besides, I thought you’d already slept with him,” he said honestly.

She made an inhuman noise then covered her mouth with her hand. “Gege, how _dare_ you!”

“What? I thought you wanted to talk about it.”

She face-palmed. “I haven’t actually slept with him yet,” she tried to clarify, but then realized it sounded so misleading. “Oh, gosh, no, no, wait, that sounded so normal in my head.”

“So you haven’t _yet_ but you will soon?” He asked. “It feels like that’s the only direction that things can proceed in.”

“I can’t say I wouldn’t want to...well, you know…”

“Look, there isn’t anything stopping you from becoming intimate with him,” he pointed out. “I know you wish you didn’t have to end a seven-year relationship, and if you were still in that relationship you would never even have considered Chanyeol. You and I both know that, and he probably does too. Even though you’re never going to say it to his face, nor would I say anything like that to my boyfriend’s best friend. But you’re not in any relationship anymore, and you don’t owe anybody anything. Maybe one day you’ll go back to that relationship and rekindle that romance, but we don’t know that for sure. So in the meantime, you only need to live for yourself and do what makes you happy. Your sister and I, we aren’t really ganging up on you if what we want is just for you to be happy, right? So what I’m saying is that if you wanna be a hoe, then go be a hoe. Least you can do for yourself and for us is to be a happy hoe.”

She smiled. “You are so supportive!”

“No worries. A happy hoe you will be,” he replied confidently.

“The happiest,” she assured him. Then she heard the doorbell and hopped off the bed, eager to get the door knowing it had to be the ahjussi she was waiting for.

* * *

Flinging the door wide open in excitement, Dabin looked up at Chanyeol lovingly. She felt like a shameless teenage girl with no inhibitions, but it felt _awesome_ to behave this way. Young and wild and free.

“You’re here!” She gushed, about to drool at his tall stature and broad shoulders.

“I’m here,” he grinned at her, just as delighted to see her as she was to see him.

“Ooh, Solbin and Baekhyun are in the kitchen,” she said. “Why don’t you take a seat first and I’ll let them know that our guest of honor is here.”

Hastily she paced towards the kitchen, but Chanyeol did not let her. He stepped inside and reached for her forearm when she was just a few steps away. She whirled, looking perplexed to see that he did not seem to want her to notify her sister and brother-in-law.

“So...they’re busy, right?” He asked, holding her gaze and hoping for her confirmation. “Their hands full?”

“I’d say so, yes…” she answered, still puzzled as she slowly and quietly closed and locked the door.

“Then it would probably not be a good idea to disturb them,” he concluded, with a mysterious hint in his tone. “Wouldn’t wanna...intensify the chaos.”

She got the hint and changed her mind, smirking slightly as she moved closer to him. “Guess that means we better leave them to it then,” she replied in a hushed tone. “And it’s just gonna be you and me for now.”

“Mm-hmm,” he agreed then slowly leaned in to whisper in her ear, sensually, “do you wanna play video games with me?”

She giggled at the anticlimactic turn of events. “I was really thinking about some other way to entertain the guest.”

He drew back and pretended to eye her with suspicion. “Did you just invite me over so you can take advantage of me? Like you did last time?”

“What do you mean! I did no such thing,” she protested and pouted. “I should be presumed innocent until proven guilty. Unless...someone ratted me out?”

“Nah, it’s not like that,” he laughed, dropping the façade. “I told Yifan about us and he suspected the possibility that you might’ve planned this.”

She raised her eyebrows and chuckled. “You told _him_ about us?”

“Yeah, he’s my best friend after all,” he replied casually. “Baekhyun is my _other_ best friend.”

“You told him about _us_?”

“Yes, I told him about the lady that’s been on my mind a lot lately,” he answered with a smile. “I hope the lady herself doesn't have any objections to this?”

“Not at all,” she replied sweetly, flattered. “Do you wanna come check out my room!”

Not giving him a chance to say no, she grabbed his hand and led him all the way to the guest room. “Well,” he said, looking around. “You definitely keep this room in a much neater condition than when I was its occupant.”

She was surprised. “You've—”

“Oh yeah. The fun I've had on this very bed,” he added, smiling as if he was recalling a fond memory.

She stared at him, curious _and_ shocked. What kind of fun was he talking about? Who did he have that kind of fun with? Why the bed in particular?

“Ya, why are you looking at me like that?” He nudged her gently and started to explain what he meant. “This is like a Room of Requirements for me. Every time I get stuck trying to come up with a tune or a beat or whatever, I just need to spend one night in this room and the ideas will come to me. Usually just as I am about to fall asleep.”

“Ah…” she nodded slowly, realizing that she got it wrong. “I see. So _that's_ the kind of fun you're talking about.”

“Yep. Although I see it's not the kind of fun _you_ were thinking about,” he teased, enjoying this way too much. “Why do you have such a dirty mind?”

“Hey! What was I supposed to think? And my mind is just full of amazing ideas; you _wish_ you could relate,” she said sassily.

“Yeah, we do have the tendency of getting brilliant ideas whenever we stay in this room, wouldn’t you say.”

“I get brilliant ideas wherever I go,” she replied, jocularly flipping her hair. “My mind!”

“That must be why you get admirers wherever you go.”

She blushed and shook her head, proceeding to sit on the bed. “I don’t think so.”

“No? Maybe it’s just me then,” he commented, leaning against the wall as if he were too shy to be closer to her. She was letting him into her world much more actively than before; he on the other hand allowed the distance between where he was standing and where she was sitting. He did not shy away from flirting with her using words, but did he not want more? He was no stranger to this house, or even to this room, but why stand so awkwardly, so far away from her? Was she not making it clear enough that she wanted him to sit next to her on the bed, and more?

“Are we moving too fast?” She blurted, hoping that by cutting to the chase she could give him the push he needed.

“What do you mean?” He became serious as she expected, although he did not expect her question to come at this time, and lost the mood for humor.

“I mean, after what happened yesterday,” she sighed. “Was I wrong to expect that that would be all? What am I to you?”

He paused for a moment before stoically saying, “you’re my best friend’s sister-in-law.”

She huffed, getting up from the bed again. “Oh really? Is that all? Is that why you kissed me?”

“And what am _I_ to you?” He shot back defensively. “What was I to you when we kissed, or when we held hands, or even when you asked me out to dinner?”

“I don’t know what you were thinking but that dinner wasn’t a date. I didn’t even know it was a restaurant for couples —”

“Oh, please,” he rolled his eyes. “A _couple_ is the last thing we’d be; don’t you think I’m too old for you?”

 _That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard_ , she thought to herself, but then was that not the same excuse she used whenever Solbin asked her about what was going on between her and Chanyeol?

Suddenly realizing how much bullshit she had been spouting because she could not admit to herself that she was attracted to him, she became silent. True, she had never viewed him in a romantic light until probably the ice cream and movie night. Their boundaries had always been clear, all along. But obviously things were not going to be the same anymore, not after that kiss in the pool.

“Are you okay?” He asked calmly, noticing that she had become quiet. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You’re right,” she said. “We aren’t a couple and we don’t have to be a couple. But we also can’t pretend we don’t feel anything toward each other.”

“I’m not the one in denial,” he smirked, glad to hear her say that. “I kissed you, remember?”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” she admitted breathlessly. If he would not make his way to her, then she would be the one to approach him. She was confident that either way, she was going to have him right where she wanted him. “So if you, or any of your friends you’ve told about me, about us, think that I must’ve orchestrated all of our interactions for the past month, well, that’s not the case. I wasn’t planning on anything until you showed up just now.”

“Then _please_ ,” he replied, tenderly running his fingers through her hair. “Tell me you want more than just to share ice cream and watch a film.”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to demand a lot more.” She placed her fingertips on his chest, locking sultry gazes with him while her hand trailed down his torso, all the way until her thumb reached the button of his shorts. “Let’s hope you have what it takes to satisfy my appetite.”

“You do deserve the highest satisfaction,” he said flirtatiously, not at all minding how proactive she was because it was just stroking his ego and proving to both of them how attracted to him she was. Contently, he let her undress him, not feeling any shyness or awkwardness because they had seen each other dressed much more scantily before, like when they were in their swimsuits yesterday. That had naturally reminded him of how flustered she was when she saw him without a shirt on. Once she got his shirt out of the way, she pushed him against the wall and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was as if she was doing that to tell him, in her own way, that she agreed with what he was saying, so she was here to get what she deserved, and he was going to give it to her.

She broke off the kiss albeit knowing he would not have wanted it to be so brief. She was not going to tire herself out so early on in their proceedings — she would not have to stand on her toes if she was just kissing his chest and anywhere below that. Even the shape of his abs was so aesthetic to her. She licked and gently nipped at his skin, hearing him grunt as she went further down. He enjoyed her kisses, but he was done staying still. He flipped her over and pinned her to the wall, pressing his body so close to hers that she could feel his crotch against the end of her spine. She felt the cool surface of the wall on her cheek for a moment before he pulled her back skillfully, keeping his fist in her hair while he kissed her ear and neck. She gasped in enjoyment, writhing when he kissed and nibbled on the sensitive spots behind her ear. As he did so, he was roughly pulling and tugging at her dress, starting from her shoulders. His lips were on her shoulder as soon as that part of her skin was exposed, and then his arm was curled around her slim waist once the dress started to slide down her body until it came off entirely.

He paused and took a step back, not meaning to give her control but only for her to step out of the dress that was now pooling around her ankles. His underwear did little to conceal how hard he was, and she was getting so wet that she was squirming. She felt not only his hardness poking at her, but also his hand on her thigh sneakily moving to grope at her butt, giving it a good squeeze that made her moan. She was so turned on that she felt as if her wetness was dripping down her thighs at this point. It seemed she was right about that, and he could feel it with his fingers too.

“Are we moving too fast?” He asked, meaning to tease her with the very question she had directed at him in frustration just now.

“Not quite fast enough,” she answered, her tone conveying every bit of her lust and impatience. She proceeded to take off her panties, simply too eager and too aroused to tolerate any wait.

“Yeah, I get it. You’re greedy for cock. Couldn’t wait to bounce on my dick the moment I came over.” He turned her around and chuckled smugly at her, whereas she had an utter look of surprise on her face. He was too bold, and she was hardly prepared for how prurient and explicit his language had become. She was not aware that he was capable of that, but there were a lot of things he was capable of that she had not discovered yet.

She was speechless, but undeniably turned on from his dirty talking. She stared intensely at his crotch while he swiftly removed his boxers and sat on the bed as if he had already expected her reactions. He leaned back on the pillows with his legs outstretched comfortably as the sense of familiarity kicked in.

She gulped. He was so hard?? And it looked so thick?? It was everything she signed up for and more.

“Come on,” he said seductively, stroking himself slowly. “It's what you want, isn't it?”

His voice was the most tempting thing in the world, irresistible as fuck. She was completely defenseless against it, absolutely compelled to join him on the bed without further ado.

“I can’t wait to claim you already,” she said as she mounted his lap, since that was how he wanted her. She wrapped her legs snugly around his lower back, pleased that there was just enough room between his back and the pillows. At this point she hardly had to lean in anymore; it was so easy for her to kiss him and nibble on his bottom lip. He groaned contently, one hand playing with her hair while the other reached behind her. His ring finger was fondly stroking her spine, all the way up until he reached the clasp of her bra, undoing it without too much of a hassle. This time she was not surprised at how skilled he was — he was older and more sexually experienced, and the more she thought about that, the hornier it made her.

Grunting in frustration and impatience, she ended the liplock and slid down onto his length. She needed to do less thinking and more fucking.

She could not help but moan when he penetrated her. The entry was easy because she was simply too ready for this. “Ugh, yes,” she hissed, gripping his arms tight and enjoying the stretch.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he uttered, nuzzling his nose against hers before kissing her face. His hands moved down to her waist, holding her in place to thrust upward into her. She gasped, mindlessly scraping her nails against his skin. She did not think he could go even deeper, but he could, and he did.

“Ch-Chanyeol…” she pleaded, taking all of it even though she was not sure if she could manage to. She loved the stretch, but this was quite intense, and his girth was no joke. He kept going, until he was all the way in, and he thought she accommodated him just fine.

“I know. Shhh,” he hushed her, swiping the tip of his tongue across her bottom lip. “You said you wanted to claim me.”

“Fuck yeah I do,” she insisted, getting accustomed to the feeling of his length shoved into her. She clenched around him, the tighter the better. She also breathed in deeply, meeting his gaze with determination and growing confidence now. She even tried to rock her pelvis back, but he prevented her from making further movements by placing a firm hand on her hip.

“Then you better be claiming _all_ of me.” It was only after he made that wicked reminder of his size that he allowed her to continue thrusting. Completely mesmerized by him, she rocked her pelvis forward, setting the pace. Soon he joined her, moving back and forth in time with her and deepening their intimacy. They were practically embracing each other now, as if they could not be even closer to each other. She felt bliss like never before, not anticipating such spot-on clitoral stimulation but certainly welcoming every bit of it. He groaned in pleasure, looking at her wantonly with lidded eyes in between their kisses. Such were the perks of staying face-to-face, and it made her weak, so weak for him. His deep, husky voice only served to further enslave her, to the point where she wanted nothing but to come and to make him come.

She started thrusting faster and harder, only knowing ecstasy and abandoning caution. It worked for her, as a particularly strong wave of pleasure came once her special spot was stimulated. She threw her head back and moaned breathlessly, while he gave it to her without holding anything back. Desperate for release, she arched her back in pleasure and slightly leaned back on her hands. He saw an opportunity and he took it, immediately leaning forward to capture her nipple in his mouth. Her moans became so damn lewd once he put his mouth all over her breasts. He twirled his tongue around a nipple and grazed his teeth around it, before slowly releasing it from his mouth and doing the same to its twin. She was about to lose her mind and succumb to the overwhelming bliss thanks to his sinful mouth and his merciless thrusts.

“Look at you, look at how helpless you are,” he taunted, moving up to kiss her neck so that she could feel his hot breath on her skin and the desire ringing in his words. “You just want me to fuck you senseless.”

She understood there and then that she had no control. “Fuck, fuck me, fuck harder,” she demanded, out of breath. He obliged, and pumped into her even faster, chasing the same ecstasy she was craving. She was so close, gasping, sweating, letting him ram into her with as much force as he pleased. All she could feel was pleasure, more pleasure, and finally the climax. Finally. He was fucking her so good that she came, and came hard. She hoped she was not too loud, moaning like the harlot that she was, but in that instant she cared about absolutely nothing but the pure white bliss that made her see stars.

He was not far behind either, continuing his motions and roaming his hands shamelessly over her body. “Fuck,” he grunted, twitching inside her when she began clenching around him again and again as her high wrecked through her body. He was throbbing inside her, his impending release so close now, firmly within his reach, and he reached for it. An orgasm so intense that he was almost trembling, groaning in delight as he finished inside her.

Both of them took a much needed moment to catch their breaths and recover from such a satisfying high. Her thighs were quaking when she dismounted him slowly, but not for one moment did she regret letting him be so rough with her. Not even if it meant she might end up walking funny the next day.

“Damn, that was so good,” she cooed, snuggling up to him tirelessly. “I’m glad you came over.”

“Well, you could always come over to my place if you want a next time,” he winked, tapping her on the nose before tilting her chin and softly pecking her on the lips. “Maybe you’ll like me enough to ride me all day long.”

She blushed in silence, momentarily covering her face with her hands.

“Are you thinking about dick in silence?” He asked teasingly, finding his clothes and putting them back on.

“You need to shut that dirty mouth of yours,” she warned, but playfully. She got dressed as well, picking up her bra that had fallen onto the floor.

“Oh, that won’t be necessary. I know it gets you off,” he said pompously. Too pompous. He was too good at dirty talking.

“Not when we’re fucking, of course,” she replied with a giggle. “I mean when we’re having dinner later. As in, now,” she added, glancing at the clock on her desk. “Pretty sure the food is supposed to be ready by now. And I’m actually hungry. I was just too horny to notice it just now. Come on, let’s go, I’m starving!”

Quickly fixing her clothes, she swung the door open, not caring that Chanyeol was not fully decent yet. Merrily she skipped to the dining table and licked her lips as Solbin and Baekhyun stepped out of the kitchen, announcing that the meal was ready.


	18. Dinners

“Hey, sorry, it took longer than expected to prepare the meal. It’s the sous-chef’s fault,” said Solbin, even though she chuckled and could not finish telling the lie while keeping a straight face.

“Yeah, it’s my fault,” Baekhyun agreed jovially. “But the food should still taste pretty good. Oh, by the way, what did you two do just now?”

“We just watched Netflix.” “We were just chilling.”

They spoke at the same time, Dabin answering with the excuse she had already prepared whereas Chanyeol just said whatever came to mind.

“Oh, Netflix and chill, huh,” Baekhyun joked. Chanyeol had to look away while Dabin darted to the kitchen to get drinks so that nobody could see how red her face must be.

“Let’s eat before the food cools,” Solbin suggested enthusiastically. “Hope it tastes fine.”

“It will taste fine,” said Baekhyun with confidence. “I have faith in my own culinary skills.”

“Oh, but not in mine?” Solbin challenged, arching an eyebrow.

“You should have just sat there and eaten your food,” Chanyeol laughed.

After the meal and toward the end of the night, Chanyeol left his best friend's place and went home on his own. Dabin was reluctant to let ahjussi go, leaving her to sleep alone on the very same bed where they had passionate sex.

Once again she was thinking about dick in silence. She was such a shameless hoe. But a happy hoe nonetheless, smiling to herself as she replayed in her head what he said to her and what he did to her during their erotic encounter earlier. She was so satisfied with the experience, savoring every moment of it. It felt like a lot of things had happened and yet it also seemed so brief. She wanted more. She wanted to do it again. As soon as possible.

At this point she was not even trying to make herself fall asleep anymore. She had made peace with the fact that she was too excited about all that had happened over the weekend to get a wink of sleep. Of course it would be a bad idea to not get enough sleep since the next day was a workday, but she felt so high as if she could conquer the world.

She thought she was going to be tired after such an intense romp, but that was not the case. She felt like she could do a series of cartwheels and somersaults then a full work-out routine and still have energy left.

As such, she resorted to doing whatever she would usually do whenever she, for whatever reason, could not fall asleep: endless scrolling on social media.

On Instagram she saw that both Solbin and Baekhyun posted about the food they cooked, although it was probably more effort on Baekhyun's part. Then she came across Yixing's post, a picture of himself with a professor he met from when he was doing his Master's, along with a long caption about improving himself. Cool, cool, very cool.

The next photo she saw was uploaded by Victoria. Dabin paused, realizing that she had not really talked with Victoria after breaking up with Zitao. It was not that the two women were on bad terms, just that they had not reached out to each other.

Dabin sighed. It was not just that she had not been thinking about Victoria lately; she had not been thinking much about Zitao either. Not since that sleepless night when she spent hours and hours thinking about what kind of a relationship he must have with the girl that he shared a cigarette with.

Dabin refocused on her phone screen, hesitating and wondering if she ought to double-tap on Victoria's post or just pretend she did not see it at all. The latter option was the one that would avoid complications, but not at all easy to do, not when Victoria's post was about her visit to Everland's Zootopia in Yongin-si, Gyeonggi-do. It was known not just for being South Korea's largest amusement park but also for housing the nation's only pandas. And it would be a lie to say that Dabin was not triggered to think about Zitao by association.

Dabin rubbed her eyes and ruffled her hair, having lost all mood to think about the sexy times with Chanyeol today. She refused to entertain these thoughts, suddenly overwhelmed with guilt once thoughts of Zitao had invaded her mind. She frowned, not sure why she should feel remorseful about it when it was not like she was cheating on Zitao. They had broken up for a month already and she was free to sleep with whoever she wanted, just as he was. She had no clue whether or not he was sleeping with anyone else after their separation, and she probably had no right to know either. And vice versa. What was truly exhausting was having to argue with herself because either way, it was an argument that she could not win. She needed to convince herself that she did not do anything wrong and there was no need for her to feel bad about anything.

Yixing's words rang in her head. She did not owe anyone anything. It was not a crime to do what made her happy. She enjoyed it and she should not be ashamed of it.

She had to repeatedly brainwash herself until all feelings of remorse had faded enough for her to begin to feel sleepy. After all, why should she be the one to feel guilty when it seemed like Zitao never felt bad about failing her again and again?

She should try to sleep. There was no point in having a debate with herself. Sleep and work were surely more important than her sex life and relationship problems.

* * *

The workday was cut short at the interior designers’ office as they had to get ready for the opening ceremony and dinner gala at a brand new luxurious hotel that they collaboratively designed. Those on the design team for this project were of course invited, but Yiyang was originally not part of it as the hotel project was already wrapped up by the time she joined the firm as an intern. However, Zitao pulled some strings and put Yiyang on the guest list as well, as a way to thank her for supporting him through thick and thin. He figured it would do her good to help her build connections and a network to influential people in the industry.

“I’m so thankful that I get to attend this event, but I’m also so nervous about it,” Yiyang admitted as she and her brother got out of his car. They took the escalator up from the carpark in the basement to a function room on the top floor of the hotel. “After all, I’m a small potato. But everybody there seems to have made a lot of contributions, or have a lot of money or influence.”

“You won’t be a small potato forever though! Some of us may start out as a nobody but if you keep working hard, like I see that you have been doing, someday you’re gonna be able to build your own name. And then you’ll become someone that the newer generations of small potatoes will look up to,” said Zitao, smiling at his sister in reassurance.

In the function room, guests began to gather. Zitao introduced Yiyang to some of his acquaintances, and greetings were exchanged. Yiyang earned a whole bag of compliments for looking so lovely this evening, and her supervisor Junmyeon agreed as much when he arrived and saw her and the rest of their colleagues.

Afterward, Zitao and Yiyang went to go get some refreshments. “Look how happy you are,” he teased her fondly, observing how she blushed.

“I’m just very flattered,” she replied as they clinked glasses.

“Because of what Junmyeon-sunbaenim said?” He chuckled. “Oh, right, didn’t you admit he’s hot? Or was Xiening lying?”

“I can’t believe you still remember that from the music festival,” she giggled. “She exposed me, so I can’t deny it. I’m just saying, out of all the men at our office, Junmyeon-sunbaenim is the most handsome. That’s all I meant.”

Zitao gasped dramatically. “How could you say such a thing? How come _I’m_ not the most handsome one in your eyes?”

“I mean —”

“We share 25% of our DNA. To deny that I’m handsome is no different than implying that you’re not beautiful,” he went on as both of them laughed.

As soon as it was announced that the ceremony was about to commence, the two of them returned to their seats at the table they were assigned and quieted down. When everyone was ready, the hotel owner walked up to the stage and began her speech. It was the usual, thanking everyone involved, then talking about the stunning cityscape, the hospitality standards, and the hotel sector.

Zitao thought it was beginning to sound boring when she mentioned a bunch of statistical figures about the tourism industry and boosting the economy. That was all very nice, but he came here for the cake, or whatever food they were going to serve. However, his thoughts drifted away from food and numbers to something more meaningful that the hotel owner seemed to be going on about.

“A decade ago, this part of the city was nothing like the prosperous, energetic district we are proudly looking at today. Back then, it used to be so drastically different: polluted, unhygienic, backward, dominated by drug cartels, hookers, the homeless, and was quite the hotspot for illicit activities. But thanks to the government’s support, this area has been revitalized and redeveloped into a cleaner, greener, improved, and more modern space for our more constructive, healthier use. It’s a breath of fresh air, it invites growth and energy, and it’s got so much potential that developers are starting to regret not investing in this part of the city. It’s had a glow-up, and now it’s ready to serve the people, just as we are. We are prepared for the exciting opportunities and challenges ahead, and we hope to receive your continued support on this journey. Let’s walk this path together!”

The speech was finished, followed by a round of applause. Zitao also clapped, but somewhat absentmindedly. He had finally figured out why her words suddenly got his attention — it must have been because he felt he could personally relate to what she was saying. There was a bond of some sort. It was not expected, but he saw the connection between himself and the part of the city that she was describing. Just about a month ago he was quite a mess, caught up in his worst addictions and hanging out with the wrong bunch of so-called friends that were not really his friends. He was no less messed up than that district was a decade ago. But more recently, he was getting better. Strictly speaking, he had been clean for almost two weeks now. He could not remember the last time his lungs were that clean. That was quite a glow-up too. Of course, he would not have made it this far without Baekhyun and Victoria and Yiyang giving him different kinds of support.

He felt brand new, as if he could do anything, as if he could overcome any obstacle that could possibly come his way. He was going to meet up with Baekhyun tomorrow and they were going to his studio. He remembered what Baekhyun said to him last week — he held up his end of the deal and he was waiting for Baekhyun to do his part too. Maybe Baekhyun could even talk Dabin into agreeing to meet up with him.

Zitao’s heart was filled with hope and energy for the rest of the night. Yiyang noticed the change in his mood and could not help but ask as dinner was served, “gege, did something happen? Not that I’m complaining but you seem to be of good cheer suddenly.”

“Well, I’m just looking forward to something really good that's going to happen real soon,” he answered cryptically, the smile on his face not going away. “Just wait for my good news this weekend.”


	19. Baekhyun

“Congratulations!” said Baekhyun to Zitao as they fist-bumped. “You’re officially two weeks clean and I can’t be prouder. This is very good progress. It should be celebrated and rewarded.”

“Thanks so much; I couldn’t have done it without you,” said Zitao earnestly. “You know, you’ve been such a great hyung to me and, growing up, I’ve always wanted to have an elder brother too.”

“Ah, you mean you want yet another person to baby you,” Baekhyun replied teasingly.

“That would be one of the perks, yes,” Zitao admitted with a laugh.

“But Dabin also longs to be babied,” Baekhyun pointed out, suddenly sounding more serious than just then.

“Well...I suppose that is true…” Zitao still managed to produce a chuckle, but his initial mirth was vanishing.

“I guess it would only be fair to say that both of you are accustomed to being the baby of the family,” Baekhyun explained. “You’ve seen how protective Solbin can be, whereas you grew up with an elder sister too, for the most part, didn’t you?”

“Yeah...but is that a bad thing?” Zitao asked, wondering if he should be worried. But he was not sure exactly what he should be worried about, which made him even more worried.

“Well, no, I wouldn’t say so. I mean it doesn’t _have_ to be a bad thing. But...balance is very important.”

“That...that sounds legit, but what makes you say so? And what’s that got to do with my relationship with Dabin?”

“Which aspects of your relationship do you think are more balanced, and which ones may be lacking balance?” Baekhyun asked, meaning for Zitao to think more deeply about the past seven years he had shared with Dabin. “Like...do you think either one of you would baby the other significantly more than the other way around?”

“I…okay, I suppose perhaps she babied me a lot without me being very aware of it or showing enough appreciation for it, but I never hesitated to praise her, or dote on her, or pamper her whenever our schedules permitted. Is that an issue?”

Baekhyun sighed. He had been thinking about this all week, ever since he came to the conclusion that Dabin and Chanyeol must have taken their undefined relationship to the next level. Of course they fessed up to none of it, but Baekhyun was not blind enough or innocent enough to believe that Chanyeol and Dabin really just literally watched Netflix and chilled whilst waiting for dinner that evening. The way they glowed, how comfortable with physical contact with each other they had become...Baekhyun had observed all of it. And he just did not know how to communicate with Zitao about this.

“I’m just saying…” Baekhyun began, faltered, hesitated, but went on. “After breaking up with you, Dabin could have been looking for something, or someone, to fill the gaps of what she felt you might not have been able to deliver to her heart’s content. Some needs that had to be taken care of, but she wasn’t getting them from you.”

“So, like, someone who’d baby her a lot more than I did?” Zitao frowned.

“Eh, well, you know, that might be a factor,” Baekhyun shrugged, uncertain if being vague was even a good policy. “She might enjoy hanging out with people who are...older than her. Maybe then it would be more natural that _they_ would be the ones to baby her and not the other way around.”

“Well, she’s living with you guys for the time being, isn’t she? I’m sure you and Solbin-noona baby her plenty,” Zitao replied but was also not quite sure what Baekhyun was getting at, nor did he have any clue why Baekhyun would not just get to the point and say it already.

“Yes, it’s true we do, but as she’s spending more time with us, she’s also spending more time in the company of our friends. Especially my best friends who are also the ones that started this recording company with me...” Baekhyun’s voice trailed off. His throat went dry and his eyes darted away from Zitao, awkwardly eyeing the soundproof walls of the studio. He did not dare tell Zitao about how the relationship between Dabin and Chanyeol had been progressing, as it would mean that there might be a lower chance that Zitao and Dabin could get back together. Baekhyun was biting his lip at this point, thinking about how well Zitao had been doing lately. If he found out about Chanyeol and Dabin, no doubt he would be devastated. It might cause him to lose all motivation to quit smoking once and for all, which meant their efforts would go to waste.

“It’s alright. I can’t control who she hangs out with. She dumped me because we had problems...but I’ve been working on it and I’ve been trying to fix those problems, haven’t I? You said I was doing well too. I won’t give up. I’ll prove myself and she’ll see that I’ve become healthier and perhaps wiser. I’ll become someone she’ll choose again, someone she can be proud of,” said Zitao firmly.

Baekhyun was silent. Time and again, he had witnessed how much Zitao believed in himself and in his chances at winning Dabin back. Zitao’s determination was stronger than ever. To tell him what he did not know would be to crush his determination entirely.

This was an awful dilemma. It was also precisely because Zitao had so much faith in his chances that Baekhyun just could not bear to lead Zitao on like that. It would hurt just as bad to feel lied to this whole time, to find out that he had been basing his determination and faith on merely wishful thinking. The more time Dabin and Chanyeol spent together, the more likely it seemed that Dabin might really consider developing some sort of a relationship with Chanyeol, at least from what Baekhyun knew of Chanyeol’s and Dabin’s personalities. Truly, Baekhyun could not stand leading Zitao on.

“Hyung, what is it?” Zitao pleaded. “Just tell me. If she wants me to stay clean for another week, or another month, even the rest of my life, I’ll do it.”

That was it. Baekhyun could not do it anymore. Taking a deep breath, he said solemnly to Zitao, “last time you asked me about Dabin and Chanyeol, right? You were wondering why they were holding hands and why they seemed so close. At the time, I truly believed there wasn’t much for you to worry about. But after the week that’s just passed…” he gulped, “I’m starting to think there really is something going on between them.”

* * *

Distraught for the rest of the day, Baekhyun lied in bed staring blankly at the ceiling. It was not _his_ heartbreak, but he felt it too. He could hear Solbin make her way from the kitchen to their room, and as soon as she came into his sight she sat down on the side of the bed.

“Did you not have lunch just now?” She asked, letting him hold her hand. “I’m sure you’re hungry; you just don’t feel it at the moment.”

“Barely,” he answered spiritlessly. “I tried to eat, but…” he shrugged. “I feel like I’ve done something awful.”

“I’m prepared to do anything to cheer you up,” she said, gently patting him on the forearm. “I even made your magic soup for you just now. If it can cure the worst of hangovers, I’m sure it’ll do wonders to you.”

“You recovered quickly from the worst hangover of your life because you were in _my_ place and you got to wake up to my face against the morning sun,” he pointed out pompously. “Remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” she giggled, deciding to lie down and snuggle up to him.

“Did you already know at that time that you liked me?” He asked, adjusting the pillow under his head and also to make room for his wife.

“Hmm...I guess...I guess I’ve always had some sort of a crush on you,” she admitted. “But so did half the university. You’re just too charismatic,” she added with a grin. “It must have been after our first time together that I realized that my feelings for you were...serious.”

“I see…” he nodded, looking to be in deeper thought than just reminiscing. “Our feelings were there in the first place; it’s just that we didn’t think it was that serious. It was after we slept together that we realized...and then we spent half a year or so striving to build stability, because without that we couldn’t even so much as think about getting into a relationship with each other.”

“Yep, and the rest is history,” she replied. “Is there a reason why you’re suddenly becoming so analytical about our relationship and our feelings?”

“Well, yeah. And it’s not because anything’s changed, for us. I’m so happy with where we are now. It seems kind of surreal though, because at the time, we didn’t know we’d end up getting married like we are now,” he smiled. “The reason why I’ve been thinking about it is...is because of your sister.”

“Oh, is _she_ the one making questionable decisions now?”

“I don’t want to conclude too quickly if it’s a good thing or a bad thing but...I suspect she may be following in our footsteps in terms of, you know, her love life and whatnot,” he explained. “Look, since it’s been so long, and you’ve obviously already moved on from it and so has Minseok. So I’m gonna talk about it and not feel awkward about it, alright?”

“Alright, go ahead,” she nodded. There was no awkwardness, just that she was not yet sure why her ex would be part of what Baekhyun had to say, or why her past relationship with Minseok had anything to do with Dabin this time.

“I hope you can see the parallels between our relationship and...well, I don't want to say ‘fling’ but just whatever it is that’s going on between Chanyeol and your sister,” he began. “So, Dabin dumped Zitao because she couldn’t stand his unhealthy habits anymore, just like how you dumped Minseok because you couldn’t put up with his jealousy issues. Then very soon after that, we had our first time together. So did Chanyeol and Dabin.”

“Ah, so I’m not the only one who suspects that they slept together,” said Solbin casually. “It felt as if _we_ were the ones third-wheeling them, when it's always been the other way around.”

“Yeah, because they couldn’t have been more obvious, and we know them so well,” Baekhyun replied. “So far, you see the resemblance between them and us, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do. And you find it worrying that Dabin might end up choosing Chanyeol over Zitao?”

“I’m not sure. Like I said, we’ve been in their shoes before and then you know what happened? We ended up becoming a couple and getting married,” he pointed out. “Of course, that’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but if they keep following our trajectory...I’m not objecting to them actually dating or whatever. I’m actually more worried about Zitao. He’s already hurting enough knowing that Dabin might be considering Chanyeol these days. And the poor boy feels that it’s gonna threaten his chances at getting back together with her. That even if he changes his ways and tries his best to do what Dabin asked of him, it’s still not going to be able to mend their relationship. It’s breaking his heart to think that he might lose her forever.”

“I never knew you were that concerned about Zitao. You look out for him a lot, like...even that time, when we were having dinner with my parents. You care about him very deeply, and that’s why you’re so troubled right now.”

“Yeah, he’s practically like a younger brother to me. As you know, I’ve also been spending time with him trying to help him build a healthier life. So we are kinda close. I’m not happy that what I told him ended up causing him pain. He just...left, after hearing what I said. I don’t know where he went. or what he’s doing now, or how he’s holding up. It was never my intention to hurt him. I felt like he had the right to know, but for the past few hours I’ve just been asking myself...was it my place to tell?” He sighed, getting exasperated with himself. “Seriously, was it up to me to disclose to him or anyone else what we _guessed_ must have happened between Chanyeol and Dabin last weekend? Is it fair to _them_ that I gave away a secret that they didn’t even choose to share with us in the first place? Oh goodness, what have I done...”

“Baekhyun, it’s okay, it’s fine, please.” She grabbed both his hands. “I understand. It’s not easy to be in your position. I truly believe with all my heart that you just want the best for your best friend, your sister-in-law, and someone that you regard as your little brother. Unfortunately they _are_ caught in some sort of a love triangle and someone’s gonna get hurt.”

He groaned. “I don't want that.”

“I know you don’t want that,” she replied. “And I know you wish there was something you could do, so that all of them can be happy. I’m sure you’re desperate to make that happen, and you want to believe there must be some way. But like you said, it might not have been your place to tell. Because it shouldn’t even be your burden.”

He paused. “You sure?”

“I'm sure. It isn’t your responsibility to ensure that they’re all happy and they all get what they want in the end, no matter how badly you want for that to be the result. We don’t know how it’s all gonna turn out in the end, and just because Chanyeol and Dabin seem to be where we were several years ago, that doesn’t mean they’re gonna end up exactly like us, because they’re them and we’re us,” she explained. “We aren’t even sure what their feelings for each other are, and what attitude they hold toward the prospect of a relationship. There are many factors that could affect their decision about where to go from now, and ultimately it’s gonna be their choice and their lives.”

He nodded. “I see what you're getting at.”

“Yeah. So, it really is up to them, and it shouldn’t be your burden to steer them in a particular direction, just so _you_ think it would lead them to the outcome that _you_ think is best for them. Please, Baekhyun, it’s not your responsibility to bear. I’m not saying you should be detached about it — I can understand why you are so invested in this, because it involves three people that you are very close to. But at this point, I really think it’s best for _you_ to let it go for now, and just wait and see how things turn out.”

“None of this was ever really within my control anyway,” he admitted. “You sure I shouldn't be trying harder to help instead?”

“You've already done a lot, but there's only so much you can do. They might seem to be in chaos now, but everything’s gonna work out in the end, and they will be with whoever they’re meant to be with. So if Dabin and Zitao are meant to be together, then they will be together, and you don’t have to push them or force it. And if Dabin and Chanyeol are meant to be together, then nothing can separate them,” she concluded. “That’s just how life works.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips together as he listened. Gradually his eyebrows were no longer furrowed together.

“Several points were made,” he replied, still serious and solemn but no longer as glum. “I suppose I’ll just have to resign myself to the fact that that’s how it’s going to be and there might not be much that I can do about it. It’s just, I’m kinda worried that if I don’t do something about it, then everything is gonna fall apart.”

“Yeah, but look at you now. You're about to fall apart even after trying to do one thing that you weren’t sure you were supposed to do,” said Solbin, affectionately stroking Baekhyun’s very smooth hair that smelled like strawberries.

“I don’t know how Zitao is coping with all of this, but I sure do hope he won’t end up doing something he’s gonna regret later on. And I also hope it’s not going to make his father rethink his investments in our company.”

“About that, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told Dabin when they had just broken up, because she had the same concerns too,” Solbin replied. “There’s no denying that Mr Huang is one of the most important shareholders in the company. But when he gave you guys the start-up capital in the first place, he was thinking about financial returns. He wasn’t thinking about how you’re gonna marry his son’s girlfriend’s sister, right? I highly doubt that, as a successful and astute businessman, he’s going to be cool with throwing away his dividends, just because the girl who used to date his son might end up dating one of the other founders of this company. Seriously. He’ll have his priorities straight.”

“Alrighty. I will trust his business acumen then. He wouldn’t be where he is today if not for that,” Baekhyun agreed and smiled. “Solbin-ah, I’m so glad I can open up to you and talk to you about this. You make me feel so much better and I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve you.”

“Ah, well, it’s probably the magic soup that you made for me. Honestly, I haven’t had any more bad breakups ever since the first time I tried your soup,” she laughed. “That was the only hangover that I was grateful for.”

“You know, I’m so grateful that it was _me_ that you drunk-dialed that night, so that _I_ was the one who went to pick you up from the club. If it had been anyone else...no, I can’t imagine you not being mine…” he shook his head. “I wanted to be yours as badly as I wanted you to be mine. For so long, I’ve longed for you. I just tried to make it less obvious since you were still in a relationship at the time. I thought that being your friend and going on ‘adventures’ with you would be pretty good already...though of course,” he continued as he started to grin. “Nothing beats being your husband.”

She pulled him in and kissed him softly but heartily. “We truly are relationship goals, huh?”

He nodded contently. “I want us to always be like this, to be thankful for each other, to care for each other, to support each other.”

“We will,” she promised. “After all, we are my favorite couple.”

He let out a chuckle. “Mine too.”

“Also, did you know I still haven't thrown out my old student card from university?” She revealed.

“What? Why?” He laughed. “It's been so many years; isn't it dusty and yellow already?”

“Well, a little. But it reminds me of when we first met and that's why it's so precious to me. I was in my first year, you in your second. I was dumb and didn't even know how to get into the library using my student card. Remember?”

“Of course I remember. You looked so flustered — I _had_ to help you out.”

“Good thing you did. Otherwise, I don't know how you would've met your future wife.”

“Hmm, I like to think we would still have met.”

“How?” She asked, her eyes sparkling in curiosity.

“Perhaps somewhere on campus. I would still have caught your eye somehow. Or at the art exhibition. Life would still have found a way to bring us together. Call it fate, destiny, kismet, whatever. We’re meant to be together and I won't have it any other way.”

“I like the way you think.” She giggled. “So, you in the mood to eat yet?”

With a chuckle, he answered, “sure.”


	20. Back To You

Yiyang sped to Zitao's place as soon as she got the distress call from her brother, stumbling out of the taxi in both hurry and worry. He sounded way too drunk over the phone, slurring his words and not even making much sense. She could not even be sure he was sober enough to text her the right address, so she had to double check it with Xiening.

Here she was, at the right place. When Zitao opened the door, it looked as if he was about to fall asleep from the effect of all the alcohol in his system. He uttered a string of sentences that Yiyang could not catch entirely, jumping back and forth between Mandarin and Korean.

Zitao seemed to have stopped drinking, at least for now. Numbly he sat down on the floor. Yiyang joined him tentatively, handing him a glass of warm water. She saw to it that he downed all of it, making sure he stayed hydrated.

She had been meaning to ask him what on earth could have triggered him to drink to this state. It saddened her to see him like this too, especially since he was beginning to shed tears.

"Gege, what's wrong..." she pleaded, wishing she could help. She was worried about him but she was not even sure what was going on. Just a couple of nights ago, he was telling her that she could expect good news from him. But from the way he looked, it was anything but good news.

"Everything is wrong," he declared, gulping and resting his chin on his knee. "Dabin's not gonna come back to me anymore."

"What? She told you that? Oh no...did she say why? I thought you said things are gonna get better once you quit smoking."

He blinked the tears away. "She got a new boyfriend now," he said, and added something else under his breath, but she could not quite catch him.

"Ah...you mean to say she's gonna be moving in with her new boyfriend now instead of sharing a flat with you?"

"Why won't she take me back!" He suddenly raised his voice and slammed his fists into the carpeted floor. "Seven years...we've been together...for seven years..." he continued, counting with his fingers. "It's been a month...a month since she dumped me...a month...so swiftly...she moves on...hands on the clock only turn one way..."

He looked into the distance, his stare blank, and he had no idea how dramatic it looked. Yiyang on the other hand became a little flummoxed. "Gege, are you still talking about Dabin-eonni...?"

"Where is she?" He asked while staring at a wall, croaking brokenly. "Can you make her come back to me? Can you tell her I'm hurting whenever she's not around? Please..."

"Gege," she said more firmly this time, squeezing his shoulders and shaking him a little, as if that would compel some of his sobriety to return to him. "Was there something going on between you and Dabin-eonni that you never told me about?"

Slowly, he turned to look her in the eye and told her everything she needed to know.

* * *

Contrary to Zitao's suffering, Dabin was being quite the hedonist. She was determined to pursue whatever would make her the happy hoe that she was. Gladly she went out for dinner with Chanyeol and then went back to his place together, obviously to hook up. But the sort of intimate activities that they had in mind certainly required privacy. And it did not seem like they were going to get much privacy, when he opened the door and they saw a man on the couch, who had just woken up from his nap when he heard the door open. The TV was also on, and on the coffee table was an emptied bag of chips.

Chanyeol cleared his throat, embarrassed as this was not at all what he wanted Dabin to stumble upon. If he were on his own, it would not have been such an awkward situation. But with Dabin around, more or less he felt like he ought to try to impress her.

"Oh hey, little cousin," said the man, waving at Chanyeol guiltlessly. “Is that your girlfriend? Funny, she looks like one of my mates' girlfriend.”

Chanyeol turned to Dabin, just in time to watch her facial expressions change. She looked not the least bit pleased, folding her arms across her chest. Evidently she had lost all mood for what she came here for.

Dabin could recognize Jinsong of course, but she was today years old when she found out that Jinsong and Chanyeol were cousins. She had always known they had the same surname, but that was far from enough for her to conclude that they were so closely related.

It was an understatement to say that Dabin disliked Jinsong. He was such a bad influence on Zitao, and now he was getting in the way of her and Chanyeol. Just why oh why would Jinsong never leave her men alone?

"I can't do this," said Dabin flatly, turning on her heel without hesitation. Chanyeol followed her out, catching up to her promptly.

"Shall we go somewhere else?" He suggested, even though he knew it was not likely that he would be able to change her mind.

" _I'm_ going to go somewhere else. _You_ can stay home and deal with your cousin," she snapped.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't know he was gonna be there. I swear I didn't mean for him to crash our date," he explained calmly.

"It wasn't a date."

He did not protest. "Every now and then my cousin crashes at my place, most likely after quarrelling with his fiancée. I...I can ask him to leave if you want."

"Don't bother," she said dismissively. "You heard him just now. I don't know if he's still friends with Zitao but he seems to still be under the impression that Zitao and I are together."

"And that got you thinking about your ex, didn't it?" He asked, still not getting mad.

"It's more than that. Zitao and I may have broken up, but I've been his girlfriend for a much, much longer time than I've been his friend or even his classmate. I don't know how to be his ex-girlfriend,” she sighed.

"I see," he replied quietly, realizing that he had underestimated how much was left of her feelings for Zitao. Perhaps there was not much point to hooking up if she was feeling that way.

"Sorry. I don't know what I'm saying and I don't know what I'm doing." She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair.

"It's fine," he said soothingly, slowly pulling her in and allowing her to rest her head on his chest although she seemed to prefer burying her face in his chest. "I don't want to make you feel worse but...do you think you should maybe get back in touch with him? To say nothing about what we share...it's clear that you still have very strong feelings for him. Even for your own sake, you have to deal with these feelings, don't you think?"

"I honestly don't know what to think," she admitted. "Am I supposed to just go running back to him and give him a second chance? What about —”

She was interrupted by the sound of her own phone ringing. She took it out from her bag but once she glanced at the caller ID, her heart skipped a beat.

"Answer it," Chanyeol urged. "It's about time you do it. You can't run from love forever."

Not knowing what else to think, she did as he advised. "H-hello?"

The voice on the other end of the line was not what Dabin was expecting.

* * *

Not wanting to see Zitao suffer like this, Yiyang waited till he had fallen asleep to use his phone to call Dabin. Yiyang knew better than to invite Dabin to Zitao's place since it still reeked of alcohol and Dabin probably would not like that very much. Instead, they set up a meeting at a coffee shop near Zitao's place. Dabin was familiar with the shops and eateries around the place that she used to call home, so she quickly located Yiyang, sitting down and ready to talk about Zitao.

"So you found out that Zitao and I used to date," Dabin began tentatively. "I lied to you about the nature of my relationship with Zitao because in the beginning I didn't know whether or not you could be trusted."

"It technically wasn't a lie, but I get it. At that time you didn't know that I was his sister. None of us knew back then,” Yiyang replied. “By the way, I appreciate that you agreed to meet up with me. At least, thanks for not shutting me down with the ‘not your relationship, not your business’ card.”

Dabin smiled a little, grateful for Yiyang's understanding too. "He’s your brother. I wouldn’t expect you to not care. So...how is he?"

“Well...do you mean how he’s doing _now_ or how he’s been doing for the past month or so that, as far as I know, you guys have been apart?”

Dabin looked down for a bit before looking back up. “Both?”

“He’s...he’s actually been trying really hard to quit smoking. I’ve been there to witness it. And it hasn’t been easy, but he’s doing really well. I can see that he’s so motivated to quit smoking once and for all, and I think it’s not just because he knows it isn’t healthy for him — he’s known that all along; he just never expected it to cost him his relationship with you. It’s clear to me that he wants you back really badly, and towards that goal he’s been doing everything he can. He’s been doing his best despite all the struggles and obstacles that he’s had to deal with. I may be biased since I’m his family, but I’d still say that his efforts shouldn’t go unnoticed or unrecognized,” Yiyang explained. “So you can imagine that he would completely fall apart, if he were to hear about something that suggests you might not want him back anymore.”

Dabin nodded solemnly. “I understand.”

“And that seems to be the impression that he’s been under, ever since he came back from hanging out with your brother-in-law,” Yiyang added. “Zitao-gege relapsed into heavy drinking just now and I don’t think he’s sober enough to really logically explain to me what’s happened. So, any idea what he might have heard from your brother-in-law? What could possibly have triggered him to react so badly?”

Dabin sat back and thought hard. Perhaps Baekhyun and her sister were too smart to not figure out that there was something more than platonic that had developed between her and Chanyeol. But it was not like she was willing to tell Yiyang what she had been doing with Chanyeol, as well as what she _would_ have done with him had she not received that phone call from Yiyang at the right timing, and if not for Jinsong cockblocking them. So instead of directly answering Yiyang’s question, Dabin said, “I didn’t know that he had improved so much and that he was so ready to see me again. I thought I’d give him more time to get his life together, but I guess that’s not what he needs the most.”

“He needs _you_ the most,” Yiyang stated. “In your eyes he might have been a mess toward the end of your relationship with him, but he’s even more of a mess even just thinking about the possibility that he might never get you back. Of course he needs to live for himself and make healthier, wiser decisions, because that’s what’s best for him. But on top of that, he needs you too. I want you to see that. And I can see that you care about him a lot, don’t you? Why else would you come running to me once I told you about the condition he was in? He’s in pain, and if you still have feelings for him...don’t let him go on like this. Even if you’re not going to take him back right away, at least let him know that he hasn’t completely lost. You don’t have to disclose to me what you think your brother-in-law may have told Zitao, but it would mean a lot to him if you could go to him and just clear it up with him.”

“I should go to him,” Dabin replied. She did not regret leaving him in the first place because enough was enough, but at this point she was beginning to feel slightly ashamed for not taking the initiative to check on him. It would not make sense to say that it was because she did not care about him — after all, like Yiyang said, she would not have ditched Chanyeol and rushed all the way here to meet with Yiyang if she did not give a damn about Zitao’s feelings.

“I’m sure he’d love that. He'd be so happy and relieved to see that you’re willing to pay him a visit.”

“I’m going to go see him now,” she declared decisively.

“Right now? He kinda passed out after drinking so much though…”

“I’ll let him sleep. I won’t disturb him. I’ll just...check on him for now. I’ll clarify stuff with him later,” said Dabin. Yiyang nodded in agreement and the two of them left the coffee shop.

On the way back to Zitao’s place, Yiyang cleared her throat and said, “so...if you don’t mind me asking...I actually saw you at the music festival a couple weeks ago. You were hand in hand with a man and I’ve kind of been wondering if that’s…”

“My new boyfriend?” Dabin finished the sentence for her. “Nope. If that’s what you or Zitao got worried about, actually he also kinda talked me into getting back in contact with Zitao.”

“Ah...it’s just that you two were holding hands, and I didn’t know what to think,” Yiyang replied.

Dabin shrugged. “Honestly I don’t know what I was thinking either,” she said wryly. “Wait, hold on, Yiyang, you were at the festival as well? Did you go with your brother or with someone else, because I didn’t see you with him...I mean, I saw him at the fest, but not with you. He was with that woman with m—”

“Yeah, mermaid hair and in a tank top? That’s Xiening. She’s my best friend,” Yiyang revealed happily.

“Your best friend?” Dabin gaped at the younger girl. “She’s a _model_ and she’s got connections to Krystal Jung, who is one of the biggest names in South Korea,” she added warily, completely forgetting that _she herself_ also had connections to a handful of other stars through Baekhyun and his vast network of acquaintances from university, from work, and otherwise. “She sounds exactly like the type of girl that someone of Zitao’s social standing would be going out with.”

“Not sure about those stereotypes but apart from that, well, yes, I suppose she’s all of those things _and_ my best friend,” Yiyang chuckled. “How do you know _so much_ about her though? Wait, don’t tell me. You’ve stalked her online?”

“Child, I did what anyone in my shoes would have done,” Dabin insisted. “The only reason why you didn’t have to do what I did back when your flatmate stole your man was because you already knew who that bitch was, and you didn’t have to do research on her. I was simply educating myself on a potential competitor.”

“Fair enough,” Yiyang laughed. “But I’m serious. You don’t have to treat Xiening as a rival! There’s no competition at all. Absolutely none. She and Zitao-gege have only met a couple times. That’s nothing on the seven years you had with him.”

“That is an immense relief to hear,” Dabin remarked.

“And now that that’s been cleared up, it sure is gonna make things easier when you do talk to Zitao about...everything that you guys need to talk about,” Yiyang smiled.

“Yiyang, thanks for giving me a chance to reconnect with him,” said Dabin earnestly. “And for being by his side when I thought I couldn’t do it any longer. He’s blessed to have you as his sister.”

“And I’m blessed to have him as my brother. He and I have become very important to each other even though we’ve only known each other for a couple of months,” replied Yiyang. “But like I said, he needs you the most. So go to him, talk to him, and hear him out as well. I’m sure there are also lots of things that he has to say to you.”

Minutes later, they arrived at Zitao’s place. Dabin took a deep breath and stepped inside, looking around. Everything was mostly where they were supposed to be, but the effect of her absence could be felt.

Into the bedroom she went, where she saw Zitao sleeping soundly. He was deliberately sleeping on his side of the bed, not in the middle of it, even though she was not living there anymore. It was as if he was still saving that spot for her, waiting for her to return to him and occupy that vacancy again. Making room for her in his heart and reserving that space for her and her only.

Very carefully and very gently, she sat down on the side of the bed. She could still smell the alcohol on him and it pervaded the place, but for now she did not mind it. She kept her eyes on his sleeping form and the next thing she knew was that she had tears in her eyes.

She had missed him so much.


	21. Coming Clean

After seeing Dabin off, Chanyeol returned to his place to find that Jinsong had just stepped out of the bathroom, but the rubbish on the coffee table still had not been cleared yet. Chanyeol was about to remind his cousin about it, but Jinsong spoke first, stretching his arms.

"So, the engagement is off again," Jinsong began, bringing up his wealthy on-again, off-again fiancée Raon. “That’s what brings me here.”

"For like the sixtieth time? I'm not surprised," Chanyeol replied, not sure if he ought to feel bad or laugh it off because at this point, the relationship between Jinsong and Raon was becoming a joke.

"Hmm," Jinsong shrugged. "Anyway, what's up with you and that girl just now? Are you two a couple or something? I thought she's supposed to be dating my friend Zitao."

"No, we aren't a couple. It's complicated," said Chanyeol. "She doesn't seem to be your biggest fan, though. You wanna tell me why that's the case?"

"Well, maybe it's because I'm accidentally cockblocking you two and she didn't appreciate that," Jinsong drawled.

"To be honest, I didn't appreciate that either."

"What, you said you'll be there for me whenever I need you," he groused.

"I'm just saying you could have at least called me or texted me so I'd know in advance that you'd be coming over, and I could've made other plans," Chanyeol explained. “Then I wouldn't be getting in your way and you wouldn't be getting in mine or anybody else’s.”

“‘Getting in the way’? Kid, I taught you everything you know about hooking up with girls. You should be more grateful to me,” Jinsong declared.

Chanyeol huffed. “Hyung, I'm not 16 anymore. I'm a grown ass man and I have my own place now so I would like some privacy too. We could've communicated this better.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” Jinsong insisted.

Chanyeol threw his hands up in the air. “See, that’s the problem. This is why even Chorong didn’t even want to talk to you anymore.”

Jinsong gritted his teeth. “Don’t you dare mention my dead sister.”

“Your own sister knows you barely have any respect for the people around you; that’s why she’s already cut ties with you many years ago. Do you still not realize your mistakes?” Chanyeol questioned.

"Well, there’s no point in talking about what a dead person thinks of me now," said Jinsong nonchalantly, digressing since he was not able to come up with a comeback in his own defense. “I can’t bring back the dead anyway. All I can do is respect the living.”

“Then please do exactly that.”

"I wouldn't hesitate to let you crash at my place if our roles were reversed. Can't you do the same for me? Is it that much to ask? We're _family_ ,” Jinsong stated, gaslighting and guilt-tripping Chanyeol into giving in. This was something he had also done countless times with Raon, so much that he was skilled in it at this point and confident that it was going to get him what he wanted. “Now Chorong might not have cared about that, but surely you're not as cold-blooded as she was. You’d know better than to cut ties with your favorite cousin, wouldn’t you? Surely you value family above trying to get laid with someone who’s, what, 10 years? 8 years younger than you?”

"Of course family is important to me. It's just that you could've—”

"Don’t forget that I gave you start-up capital for your recording company," he cut in. "If it weren’t for me you’d be working some low-paid job somewhere unknown."

"Look, you give yourself too much credit," Chanyeol insisted, getting annoyed at this point. "The other co-founders and I, we’ve repaid that amount long ago. And that’s not even _your_ money; that’s your fiancée’s money." He also felt the need to point out that if he ought to be more grateful, it ought to be Raon that he should be grateful to, not Jinsong. But once again Jinsong interrupted.

"Which wouldn’t even be in your bank account in the first place, if it weren’t for me talking her into it," he retorted. "So you do have your favorite cousin to thank. You'll wanna rethink the attitude you're using with me."

Chanyeol sighed and rolled his eyes, not wanting to waste any more time on a pointless argument. Clearly this conversation was going nowhere. He did not know how it ended up this way. Growing up, he looked up to Jinsong a lot, the big cousin who was always there for him and taught him cool stuff that would never fail to impress his peers. But he really did not like the way Jinsong was trying to patronize him him — as if he himself were not a full grown adult either. To say nothing of Jinsong’s chaotic love life and morals, Chanyeol sometimes wondered how Jinsong could be older than him and still do so much stupid shit and behave so immaturely.

"Just clean up after yourself. If you’re gonna be here at all then you have a responsibility to keep the place clean," said Chanyeol resolutely. "I'm gonna go out for a drive.”

* * *

Zitao slept like a baby through the night. Dabin only stayed for a while and then left, since Yiyang promised to set Dabin and Zitao up so they could meet soon and talk about things. Yiyang herself, however, stayed the night at Zitao’s place, worried that he would not be able to get up in the morning in time for work after drinking so much. Dabin pointed her to the spare toothbrush in the cupboard underneath the basin in the bathroom, and afterward Yiyang just slept on the sofa.

“I am blessed to have you as my sister,” said Zitao the next morning. Once they were both ready to go, they got into his car and he started driving to work.

“Dabin told me the same thing last night,” Yiyang replied cheerfully.

“Speaking of her, I actually had a dream about her last night,” Zitao sighed. “I dreamed that she visited me. I don’t remember what she said to me but she was sort of crying when talking to me. She was quite emotional...I don’t know, I don’t remember much.”

“It wasn’t a dream,” Yiyang revealed with a smile. “She did drop by last night.”

“She did?” Zitao almost exclaimed, risking a glance at Yiyang although he should be keeping his eyes on the road.

Yiyang nodded. “She did indeed.”

“While I was asleep?! Oh goodness, I’ve missed my chance to talk to her. There’s so much I want to tell her but...”

“Well, you were quite drunk, so even if you weren’t asleep, I doubt you’d be coherent enough to really say what’s on your mind,” she said. “I promised her that I’d find a chance for you two to properly talk things out.”

“Seems like a lot has happened while I passed out,” he commented.

“Yeah, well, it all started with me using your phone to call her. And then I met up with her, and I did my best to talk her into giving you a chance,” she explained.

“Oh, wow. I appreciate that. But if she’s really considering Chanyeol, that’s gonna be some serious competition.”

“Are you talking about the monkey tattoo guy at the music festival?” She asked.

“Yeah, him. I’ve always thought that given their age difference, they wouldn’t view each other romantically,” he replied. “Obviously, I was wrong.”

“Well, Dabin didn’t tell me much about her relationship with him. But she did say that he’s not her new boyfriend, so there’s no relationship to even begin with. She mentioned that he actually had a part in persuading her to let you back into her life.”

“Is that so?” he frowned, but in surprise. “Not at all what I was expecting, but I guess she’ll tell me more about it if and when we do meet up.”

“I really hope that you guys can make up,” she remarked. “I know it would make you the happiest.”

“It would,” he said. “But for the time being, I’m gonna have to stay clean, stay sober, and stay focused on work.”

* * *

After a long day at work, Dabin could finally leave her office and have dinner. As she felt bad about ditching Chanyeol the other night, she tried to make up for it by treating him to dinner. Truthfully, he did not really mind it, but he would also be happy to have a meal with her.

He picked her up from work and asked, “so, what shall we eat tonight?”

“Let’s go to the same romantic restaurant we visited last time,” she suggested. “We’ll be the only pair there who’s not a couple, and this time my sister didn’t give me any coupons, but I don’t care. I like the food there.”

And so they drove to that restaurant, back to where it all started.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said to me last night,” she began.” When I didn’t know whether or not I should pick up the call that I thought was from Zitao.”

“I just reckon you should be running towards love, not away from it,” he explained. “I’m hoping you did at least get the chance to see him?”

“Briefly, but still, yes, I did,” she answered. “The thing is, this will change things between _us_. We clearly didn’t mean to just have a one night stand.”

“True, although what we were pursuing wasn’t going to be any sort of a romantic relationship either, was it.”

“No, I don’t think that’s where we’re headed either. But are you sure you’re cool with me being so...I don’t know, so willing to throw away what we shared, the moment I’m faced with the chance to rekindle what I had with Zitao?”

“That just proves that you care more about his feelings and your relationship with him than you care about mine and our relationship,” he pointed out. “I’m not upset about it. It makes sense that you’re still very attached to him. With us, it was fun while it lasted.”

“But it was never meant to last,” she added. It was bittersweet to acknowledge this fact about their relationship, but it had to be done.

“That’s right. I know you’re not going to put me first, because I’m not the one for you the way Zitao can be, and that’s alright. We’ve known that all along; it’s not like we’re going in blind.”

“I sure am glad you didn’t create expectations in your mind that I wouldn’t have been able to meet,” she said. “It’s a relief to know that you knew better than to get your hopes up.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t say it to my face, but if you never broke up with Zitao, you would never have regarded me as anything more than an ahjussi,” he chuckled. “Still, I would rather be happy for you, now that I see you making what I also believe to be the right choice. We’ve only been doing what we’ve been doing because we’re both single, but I can see that you long to be with him more than you want to be single. I wouldn’t be selfish enough to ruin your love life just because I want a good fuck every now and then. I couldn’t do that to my best friend’s sister-in-law.”

She smiled at the maturity and clarity he had, glad that there was no fuss and no strings attached. They might even be able to go back to the way they used to be.

“Then...can I still hold on to you tightly?” She asked fondly, recalling what he said to her that day before they kissed in the pool.

He nodded and grinned. “You can still do that as much as you want.”

* * *

After several distressing weeks of separation, finally Zitao and Dabin were meeting up again.

Their meetup place was not just any place — it was a frozen yogurt shop near their high school. This was a strategic choice made by Yiyang in Zitao’s favor, since this place contained so many memories of when Zitao and Dabin first got together.

The shop staff liked to take pictures of their customers smiling happily and enjoying their bowls of yogurt, and many of these photos were hung up around the shop. The walls were filled with pictures of customers celebrating their birthdays, anniversaries, and other accomplishments.

Zitao got there early, standing in front of the wall and staring at the polaroid photo of himself and Dabin in their school uniform. That picture must have been taken more than seven years ago — they looked _so_ young, so full of life, so unbridled and unburdened by endless adult obligations.

The shopkeeper walked out from the preparation room and found Zitao reminiscing on his own. Glancing between the wistful look on his face and the photo he was fixated on, she cleared her throat and piped up.

“Waiting for the lady to show up?” She asked, pointing at their picture. “The two of you looked so happy. Bet you didn’t know back then what you’d be dealing with today.”

Zitao smiled, albeit overcome with nostalgia for the honeymoon period of his relationship with Dabin. “No, not at all did I see it coming that I would turn out like this. That _we_ would turn out like this. But it’s not broken beyond repair. It’s just...complicated.”

“It always is,” the shopkeeper replied. “I’ve seen many customers come into the shop as couples, most of them being high school students hanging out here after school. I’ve witnessed many of them get together, and the way they glow when they’re happily in love — I like to try to capture those wondrous moments with a polaroid camera. Sometimes when it’s late at night, it’s quiet and I’m the one closing up the store, I look at these photos and I think to myself, how many of these couples are still together? Did they make it to their next anniversary or have they gone their separate ways already? Are they happy?” She sighed. “When my parents first started this yogurt shop, they were hoping to bring happiness to their customers, to remind them that no matter how complicated and harrowing life events can get, there is still something simple and delicious and delightful that they can enjoy, and that’s yogurt.”

“That sounds comforting,” said Zitao. “And, well, we’ll probably find out very soon what’s gonna happen to _this_ couple,” he added, tapping on the picture of himself and Dabin.

“Well, whatever it is that the two of you may be going through, I do hope you two can reconcile,” she smiled and patted him on the shoulder in encouragement. “Let me know when you’re ready to order.”

Then, tinkling sounds announced that the door was pushed open from outside, and in walked Dabin.


	22. Making Amends

Very carefully, Zitao approached the table with two bowls of yogurt in hand, while Dabin sat and waited. She told him to just choose any combination of flavors for her, and he felt like she was testing him.

“Yours is lychee and green tea,” he revealed gingerly, hoping that what he remembered of her preferences was correct, and that her tastes had not changed in the few weeks that they spent away from each other.

“And yours? Mango and peach, I bet?” She smiled, but he reckoned it was more because of the yogurt than because he got it right for her. At least, he had to conclude that he did not get it wrong, because she did not express any displeasure at his choice…

Damn. He was overthinking and overanalyzing every small detail of her responses, and this would not do. It was doing nothing to boost his confidence.

“Yeah, that’s right,” he answered as he took a seat next to her. They were seated at a rather secluded corner, so that they could have the delicate conversation that they needed to have. “Do you remember the first time we came here?”

“Oh yeah,” she said enthusiastically after taking a bite. “Wasn’t it because we needed to celebrate when I finally found the USB stick that I thought I’d lost forever? I couldn’t afford losing it because it’s got pics of me and my sister with a retired teacher who was kind to us. In the end I think I gave it to my sister to keep though, so that I don’t ever lose it again.”

“And where should I keep you if I don’t ever wanna lose you again?” He blurted, looking at her pleadingly and neglecting that his yogurt was going to melt.

She chuckled, poking her yogurt with the spoon in her hand. “Cheesy.”

“That might have sounded cheesy, but I’m serious. You mean way too much to me for me to risk ever losing you again, and I thought we came here to talk about this.”

She sighed. “Truthfully, I didn’t know what to expect or anticipate. Like, I have no clue how this conversation is supposed to go. It’s really not that I don’t want to discuss this with you because I do. I feel like we should really reconnect with each other and resolve any issues we have. I just don’t know where to begin.”

“Well, you know I wouldn’t dare contact you unless I’ve really, properly quit smoking, which I have. I’m three weeks clean now,” he reported. “I know if I lose you forever then I only have myself to blame. And I want to keep you more than I want to keep all of my other bad habits. So I’ve been trying really hard to stay away from cigarettes. And in case you’re wondering. Jinsong and I had a fallout before you even came back from your business trip. Actually, we haven’t even talked ever since. I know you’ve never enjoyed his company or presence in my life. And I’m not sure I ever truly did either.”

“I’m glad you finally see the light, but let’s not talk about him. I can’t stand him,” she said curtly, choosing to leave out her recent discovery that Jinsong happened to be Chanyeol’s cousin.

“Alright. Well, uh, about drinking, I haven’t even had a drop of alcohol except at a company event and, well, last weekend...um, I’m sure Yiyang has told you about it over the phone.”

“Yeah, she said she doesn’t want to see you hurting...and honestly, neither do I,” she replied. “I decided to call it quits with you because I couldn’t put up with your lifestyle and I was suffering, but I still had feelings for you. And even till now, these feelings haven’t gone away.”

“I wish I had the sense to realize sooner that it’s unwise to live like that. I wish it didn’t cost me our relationship. But if it’s not too late, I’ve been making amends and I’ll keep trying. I should be doing this for the sake of my own health anyway, because nobody’s responsible for that but myself. And even though others may help me, still, I’m the only one who can save myself. If I want to redeem myself and prove to you that I’ve changed and that I’m worthy, it has to start with me making improvements to how I’m living my life. I’ve been thinking about how to win you back and how to get you to change your mind about me. But I promise you that I will be a better man before I so much as ask you to consider taking me back, because you deserve nothing less than my best.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat upon realizing how earnest he was. “Zitao, don’t give up. When I broke up with you, I didn’t know for sure that you were really going to be willing to make these changes to your lifestyle. Our relationship wasn't something I was using as leverage over you, just to get you to behave a certain way or to _not_ behave a certain way. For all I knew, you could’ve just ignored what I said and what I wanted. You could’ve carried on living your life that way, and there wouldn’t have been anything I could have done about that. But you _did_ change, and you did make impressive progress, and that’s something to be proud of. I’m proud of you.”

“It would’ve been an easy path to go down if I didn’t have to push myself to live my life any differently. But if that’s a path I’ll have to walk on my own without you by my side, then that’s not a path that I would ever want to take. Because I love you,” he said, sincere and pleading. “I didn't love you enough before. I wasn't mature enough to see that I wasn't giving you as much love as you deserve. But I never stopped loving you.”

A tear slid down her cheek when she heard him say those words. Right before that tear could reach the corner of her mouth, she leaned in, tenderly cupped his face with one hand, and kissed him firmly. Their lips felt icy from the frozen yogurt, but her tears were warm, and their love ardent. When she kissed him, he felt like he had won at life. He did not care what she did or who she was with for the past month and a half — he just needed to know that he still stood a chance with her. Lovingly he kissed her back, inwardly rejoicing.

“I shouldn’t be making you cry,” said Zitao afterward, even though he looked and sounded as if he himself was also about to cry.

Dabin sniffled. “Zitao, I know I’m the one who ended our relationship, and because of that I’m not even sure if I still have the right to say I love you. It’s just that I...I don’t know how to be your ex-girlfriend. I don’t even _want_ to be your ex. And it saddens me too, when I think about how our relationship has turned out. Do you blame me for making that selfish decision? And I wasn’t there to support you when you were trying your hardest to quit smoking…”

He put his arms around her, his heart aching for her. “If you had the strength to throw away a seven-year relationship, I don’t have any excuse to not throw away my bad habits. If anyone was selfish, then it’d be me. I understand why you had to do it — I wouldn’t say it’s selfish because it did push me to do what I didn’t think was possible. I’m sorry that that’s what it took for me to really get it done. I’ve learned my lesson even though I’ve had to learn it the hard way. I never blamed you.”

She exhaled in relief, wiping her tears away. “Look, I’m gonna shamelessly tell you that I love you and I want you back. There are still so many plans we’ve made as a couple, and we haven’t been able to make them happen yet. All along I’ve wanted a future with you, for us to be happy and healthy together.”

“And I want nothing less with you, so if you’re willing to take me back...then I won’t be defeated even when things get tough — I know I’ll be alright as long as I get to hold your hand through anything that comes our way,” he said with confidence, clasping their hands together, their fingers entwined. “We can make each other happy.”

She nodded, tears and hope brimming in her eyes. “We’ll make each other happy.”

* * *

Three weeks later, Dabin found herself at the airport again, but not for a business trip. This time, she and Zitao were going to fly to London to visit his mother and his stepfather. Since they were going to meet such important people, it was equally important for Yiyang to join them. It had been quite some years since she and her mother last talked, but Zitao was hopeful that this reunion could bring mother and daughter closer, and he was hoping that they could mend their relationship too.

“Are you excited?” Zitao took the chance to talk to Yiyang about this, when Dabin and Victoria were getting food from the buffet bar in the lounge as they waited for their flight. Victoria was also going to fly to London, not for a family reunion but to attend an academic symposium.

“About visiting London? Sure. I deserve this trip anyway, after working hard for three months and finally completing this internship,” Yiyang answered with a look of indifference, knowing that that was not what her brother was asking.

“I mean about reuniting with our mother,” Zitao replied affectionately. “Think about it. If it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t even be siblings.”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “My dad and I have been estranged from her for so long. It just feels so awkward.”

“Well, maybe you could tell her about your experience working as an intern in our firm. You did a great job and even Junmyeon-sunbaenim agrees, so I’m sure she’ll be very proud of her daughter,” he suggested, still maintaining a positive mood.

She shook her head. “I don’t think she cares about me. I’m also not sure how you can be so convinced that she cares about you, or why you can still be close with her. Sorta.”

“We’re her children. How can she not care about us?”

“She left you behind when you were a kid, chose to start a new life with my father in England over staying with you. Then when _my_ parents divorced, she once again chose to stay in England on her own over keeping me with her. You think it was easy for my dad to raise me all by himself? She cares about her own life and her career more than she cares about _any_ of her kids. Maybe you don’t like to hear this, but from the decisions that she’s made, it really seems that way to me,” she said gruffly. “I’m about to turn 19 and I don’t want her to ruin my birthday. Even though she’s the one who gave birth to me, ever since she and my dad separated, she hasn’t ever called to wish me a happy birthday. Not even once.”

“She may have made decisions in the past that made you disappointed in her, but it’s not as if people don’t mature and learn from their mistakes. I say this as someone who’s been in that position before — I grew wiser after that and I tried to make up for what I did wrong,” he explained patiently. “You wouldn't rob me of any chance to compensate for my mistakes either. So, likewise, I’d like it if you could give her that opportunity as well. Maybe you’ll be pleased with the outcome. We never know, at least not until you give it a try.”

“I know where you're coming from. I stayed on your side and supported you all the way, because you showed me kindness and you were worthy of the opportunities you're talking about. You and I would never give up on each other. Though I'm not sure I can say the same about our mother.”

“I just think this will be a good occasion for the two of you to talk things out, so that she can understand how she made you feel. And you can also try to see things from her point of view,” he reasoned. “And after that, if you still decide that it would just be a waste of time to keep trying, then I’ll leave it at that and I won’t try to push it anymore. Deal?”

“Fine,” she uttered after a moment of thought.

“And don’t worry about your birthday. I’ll see to it you’ll have a blast. Dabin and I will make sure of it,” he promised, grinning at the plans that he and Dabin had already made. They just had to keep it a secret from Yiyang for the time being, so that the surprise would not be ruined.

“Alright,” she nodded. “I trust you.”


	23. La Ville De L'amour

To Zitao’s delight, the trip to England went very smoothly. He and Dabin had a wonderful time there. The symposium that Victoria attended was very fruitful as well. Yiyang also found some closure after spending some time with her mother, and Zitao was proud to see such development.

When they flew back to Seoul, one of the first things that Zitao and Dabin did — apart from move back in together once his place was fully clean — was to treat Baekhyun and Solbin to a meal. The older couple was also overjoyed that the younger couple got back together.

Zitao had booked a table for four that evening. He arrived early, knowing Dabin would need a bit more time to get here from her workplace. Luckily, very soon Baekhyun and Solbin arrived too and got seated. _Perfect_ , Zitao thought to himself. It was the perfect chance for him to ask them about something that was of paramount importance.

“Engagement ring?!” said Solbin and Baekhyun in unison, looking pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah,” Zitao smiled, nervous but happy. “I’m thinking about proposing to Dabin during our next trip to France. It’s the first ever country we traveled to together. I know she really loves it there and we’ve been talking about revisiting. I think it would be the perfect occasion. You guys can keep a secret right?”

“Oh, the only person we’d tell is each other,” said Baekhyun joyfully.

“I’ll find a time to tell you all about her ring size and her preferences in engagement rings and everything she could dream of for the proposal and the wedding,” Solbin offered. “We’ve been talking about it since we were kids and she’d be the happiest if you could make her dreams come true.”

“I’d do anything to make her happy,” Zitao replied fondly.

“I’m sure she sees that,” Baekhyun grinned. “Good luck! We’ll be waiting to hear good news from you two.”

“Oh, there she is,” said Solbin promptly once she spotted Dabin walking into the restaurant from the front door. “We’ll talk about this later.”

* * *

Although Dabin had no clue what Zitao had been planning, she felt truly blessed that the two of them were able to sync up their annual leaves and arrange a trip to Paris for Christmas.

“Zitao, why are you shaking?” Asked Dabin, sitting down next to Zitao on the bench at the end of the bed after checking out all the room facilities. Their hotel suite was spacious, with a beautiful view of the city.

“Still cold,” he lied.

She glanced at the bedside panel that was supposed to control the temperature of the room and the lighting. “The heating should kick in soon. In the meantime…” she wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder. “I can keep you warm.”

He breathed out in relief, relaxing enough to produce humor but still very nervous inside. “Guess that means you still like me.”

She pouted, freeing him from her embrace just to put her hands in his. He had been fumbling with the engagement ring in his pocket and he thought that surely she would wonder why his palms were sweating so much.

“You still have doubts about that?” She asked.

Zitao licked his lips and paused. He had been clean for about half a year now and he had not bothered to talk to Jinsong much. It was not that he was worried that she would leave him again. He just wanted to feel certain that they could still be happy together for a long, long time. For the rest of their lives. That was a very long time.

“There used to be a lot of things that I took for granted, and I never thought that one day I would lose them or have to do without them, for whatever reason. So to feel _certain_ about these things in life — not material things — that feeling, that reassurance, is not something money can buy,” he explained solemnly.

“Well, I get what you mean. I know how you’re feeling. Like, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I think a lot of us have felt that way before,” she replied.

“Then you’d know what you would never want to lose. You’d know _who_ you can’t do without,” he said quickly. “I’m grasping for security, because I thought I had it and it made me take things, take people for granted. After that, I didn’t think I had security anymore, so a part of me lives in fear of the future. But that’s not how I want to live.”

She could read between his lines, her heart sinking at how deep his insecurities ran. “I wouldn’t choose anyone over you, Zitao.”

“I know.”

“Do you really have confidence in that, or is that just what you want to believe?” She questioned, but gently. “Please, my love, trust me. I want you to have hope, I want you to put your faith in us. We’ve had seven years together — seven and a half, and counting. All of that means much more to me than I can say. I feel safe with you. I’ve never felt safer with you, and I believe with every fiber of my being that we _are_ meant to last.”

Upon hearing her words, he relaxed into her touch. “I believe you. I know you mean what you say.”

“I choose to stay with you because of who you are, and not for anything else. See, we could be like Jinsong and Raon,” she went on. She had absolutely no nice things to say about the man that Zitao once foolishly considered to be his best friend. But if that was what it took for him to understand where she was coming from, then she would be willing to use the other couple as an example to illustrate her point. “I could stay with you for the same reasons why he stays with her. Because he’s greedy for her infinite wealth and what it can do for him. But it’s not like that with us, is it? We have stability, passion, real affection, and they wish they could relate.”

He chuckled lightly, subconsciously playing with her fingers, especially her ring finger, as he listened to her. “True that.”

“Of course I love being pampered and I also love being able to enjoy expensive things in life that make us happy,” she continued. “But above that, getting to hold you, to have you by my side — that’s priceless. I cherish you above all else. So, no matter where we go, what we can or can’t afford, as long as we get to be together, I’m going to be thankful for it. You are my other half, Zitao. I’m thankful for you every day of my life.”

He sniffled. “Nothing I say can possibly outdo what you just said. My heart is yours,” he said lovingly, looking at her with the fondest gaze, completely whipped.

She grinned heartily. “I suddenly thought of something that Yixing-gege said, all these years ago when you and I first got together. When my sister hadn’t even made up her mind yet about Baekhyun.”

“Yeah? What did he say?”

“At that time he was sort of comparing my love life and my sister’s, because he was also thinking about getting back into dating. And he said, _Solbin_ makes relationships look complicated and full of dilemmas, but _I_ make relationships look easy and full of happiness, and he envied me. Because Zitao, you and I, we’ve been couple goals from the very start. Because we never hesitated about choosing each other over everyone else,” she grinned at the fond memory. “We are _that_ couple, Zitao. Never forget that.”

“I want to be _that_ couple with you for a long, long time,” he replied firmly, as if something had finally clicked in his head, and all of a sudden he found all the right words to say. “For all the years to come — for the rest of our lives.”

She looked at him in anticipation, but also wondered if she had been reading the signs wrong. It had only been several months since they got back together, so would it be too soon? But then they did have seven years before that, so it was actually not rushed. She _did_ pick up on how he seemed to fiddle with her ring finger as they talked. Could that mean something, or was she just overanalyzing these gestures?

“What are you saying?” She smiled and asked, curious but also not sure if she was ready for the answer. Her nails were digging into the velvet material of the bedroom bench, the fierce pounding in her chest an unforgettable feeling.

His response was not an answer but rather a question, as he got down on one knee.


End file.
